|
F
|
51%
|
Savages (2012) |
"
Well made and slickly made but amoral junk."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Dec 24, 2012
|
|
F
|
48%
|
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (2012) |
"
It is over. You say nothing is over until we say it is over? The long national nightmare ends not with a bang or a thud but with one of the biggest FUs in Cinematic history"
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Nov 17, 2012
|
|
F
|
92%
|
Skyfall (2012) |
"
"My name is Bond, Emo Bond." Is there a 12-step program for whiny, moping, bland Spies? Daniel Craig may fit the part of Bond but after 3 movies its clear he doesn't want to be there."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Nov 10, 2012
|
|
F
|
9%
|
My Soul to Take (2010) |
"
Yep, this movie is garbage."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Oct 10, 2010
|
|
F
|
16%
|
Max Payne (2008) |
"
This just in, Video Game movies still suck."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Oct 20, 2008
|
|
F
|
83%
|
Atonement (2007) |
"
The trailer for Atonement had me giddy with excitement I thought I was going to be in for a truly epic love story that spanned time, distance, war, betrayal, but what I got was this anemic, pretentious, non-epic turd."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Dec 7, 2007
|
|
F
|
40%
|
Shrek the Third (2007) |
"
This has clearly become a paycheck film for all those involved. There's no energy in any of the voice acting, the jokes are stale, it's film making by committee at it's worst."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted May 21, 2007
|
|
F
|
47%
|
Miami Vice (2006) |
"
There's no style, glitz, glamour, or music! The movie is called MIAMI VICE! How can you have "Miami Vice" without at least ONE good Music montage? At the very least you would think, the movie would have some, oh, I don't know, ACTION!"
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Aug 13, 2006
|
|
F
|
74%
|
Land of the Dead (2005) |
"
Awful, horrible, dreadful, and most of all boring!"
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Jun 24, 2005
|
|
0/5
|
17%
|
Ernest in the Army (1998) |
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Nov 10, 2004
|
|
0/5
|
0%
|
Simon Sez (1999) |
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Nov 20, 2003
|
|
F
|
40%
|
Anything Else (2003) |
"
Is it the most irritating movie of the year? Heck, yes."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Nov 19, 2003
|
|
D-
|
84%
|
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) |
"
A Cliff Notes version of the book that misses every major plot point and narrative thrust. But hey, they certainly picked up on the teen romance. Yey, for them. Worst film Adaptation, Ever!"
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Jul 16, 2009
|
|
D
|
92%
|
Skyfall (2012) |
"
Skyfall is a crushing bore. My Bond is not some whiny, emo, wall gazing, beer drinking "tough guy." My Bond loves women, has cool gadgets, a hot car that does neat things, beats the crap out of people."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Feb 20, 2013
|
|
D
|
78%
|
Flight (2012) |
"
Why does the black Captain Sullenberger have to be a drunk? Every illogical thing that screenwriter John Gatins had in the script can be chalked up to the Afroman song "Because I Got High.""
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Nov 3, 2012
|
|
D
|
70%
|
Men in Black III (2012) |
"
Nothing worse than a Action Comedy that delivers neither quality Action nor Comedy. "
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted May 27, 2012
|
|
D
|
85%
|
The Hunger Games (2012) |
"
Gary Ross clearly does not have enough faith in the material or the world he created to simply let the audience enjoy the ride. The constant shaky cam, out of focus zooms and other unnecessary camera gimmicks literally made me sick."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Mar 24, 2012
|
|
D
|
17%
|
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012) |
"
Ish...."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Feb 19, 2012
|
|
D
|
86%
|
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) |
"
Ho, Ho, Anal Rape? Wha?? A boring, bland, exploitative movie with TWO graphic anal rape scenes? This is exactly what I want to see on Christmas weekend!"
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Dec 24, 2011
|
|
D
|
60%
|
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011) |
"
Can I say, I hate just about everything about this movie and leave it at that? "
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Dec 18, 2011
|
|
D
|
33%
|
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011) |
"
I don't know who to blame for such an awful looking movie - the Director or Cinematographer. If I have to spend 2 1/2 hours in this world, can they at least make it watchable?""
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted May 22, 2011
|
|
D
|
10%
|
Saw 3D (2010) |
"
Clearly the Producers have no more ideas for this franchise. It's a good thing they are ending the way they wanted to. To bad its not an ending fans will enjoy or deserve."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted May 22, 2011
|
|
D
|
58%
|
Scream 4 (2011) |
"
Boring, derivative and killed its own gimmick within the first five minutes."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Apr 16, 2011
|
|
D
|
20%
|
The Tourist (2010) |
"
Boring, bland and self indulgent Vanity piece for Angelina Jolie."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Dec 12, 2010
|
|
D
|
86%
|
Unstoppable (2010) |
"
There may be a decent action movie in here somewhere but Unstoppable is stopped in its tracks by a horrible set up."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Nov 13, 2010
|
|
D
|
86%
|
Inception (2010) |
"
It's hard to connect with a movie when it tries so hard to fool you; is this a dream, is it not, is it a dream within a dream? Who cares? Just commit to something and get on with it. A crushing bore."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Jul 16, 2010
|
|
D
|
74%
|
Splice (2010) |
"
It strives so hard to be more than it is and that is why it ultimately fails. Could have been good if they left the pretensions at the door and went for straight horror. Then the horrible 3rd act could be forgiven."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Jun 5, 2010
|
|
D
|
68%
|
Shutter Island (2010) |
"
This is a soul crushing bore that I desperately wanted to walk out on. Would have been better if it was called Arkham Asylum."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Feb 20, 2010
|
|
D
|
27%
|
The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009) |
"
Bella Swan is loathsome and not aware how insipid, self involved, narcissistic and whiny she is."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Nov 22, 2009
|
|
D
|
33%
|
Terminator Salvation (2009) |
"
McG is capable of making the trains run on time, but not much else. He has no vision, discernible style, wit or knows how to get much out of his actors."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted May 23, 2009
|
|
D
|
59%
|
The International (2009) |
"
This movie is a shining example of generic and bland studio film making."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Feb 13, 2009
|
|
D
|
64%
|
Quantum of Solace (2008) |
"
The Producers have forgotten what makes Bond unique. Bond is supposed to be fun, over the top escapism. Not gritty and real. We want to be Bond, not have Bond be us. Solace is one relentlessly dour, emotionless movie."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Nov 15, 2008
|
|
D
|
41%
|
Hancock (2008) |
"
If Hancock didn't try so hard to be "edgy" and "different" it could have been a winner. Instead with the only villain in the movie being a Whiskey bottle it barely registers as a blip on the radar."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Jul 2, 2008
|
|
D
|
91%
|
Knocked Up (2007) |
"
This film is every man's wet dream. What woman wouldn't want to have a one night stand with a drunken, fat, vulgar, irresponsible, dirty looking slob?"
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Jun 1, 2007
|
|
D
|
28%
|
Next (2007) |
"
This movie doesn't fail because of it's swiss cheese story. It fails because there is no chemistry between Cage and Biel. Biel's casting was so bad that it goes up there with casting Denise Richards as a Nuclear Scientist in The World Is Not Enough."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Apr 27, 2007
|
|
D
|
4%
|
Happily N'ever After (2006) |
"
The film is so self aware and pseudo hip that it's incredibly annoying. It uses every cutesy "hey look at me" film class 101 trick, including bad narration from Freddie Prinze Jr."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Jan 5, 2007
|
|
D
|
57%
|
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) |
"
The weighty main themes of alienation, discrimination, responsibility and the sense of fear still resonate, it's cheap production values and lame directorial efforts by Ratner made it hard to connect with the film. Left me feeling cold and disheartened."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted May 27, 2006
|
|
D
|
10%
|
Elektra (2005) |
"
Nothing says action film like a bad guy monologuing for five minutes. Has Bowman ever heard of 3 point lighting? Elektra is a failure on almost every conceivable level."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Jan 13, 2005
|
|
D
|
56%
|
The Polar Express (2004) |
"
Now it can be said, Santa Claus is a fascist dictator who likes to kidnap and endanger children so that they can learn the true value of Christmas."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Nov 10, 2004
|
|
D
|
72%
|
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004) |
"
I admire the boldness and vision of this film, but ultimately it fails on almost every level."
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Sep 17, 2004
|
|
1/5
|
24%
|
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) |
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Sep 26, 2005
|
|
1/5
|
77%
|
A League of Their Own (1992) |
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted May 19, 2005
|
|
1/5
|
7%
|
Amityville II: The Possession (1982) |
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Feb 11, 2005
|
|
1/5
|
92%
|
The Last Emperor (1987) |
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Nov 10, 2004
|
|
1/5
|
——
|
Atomic Train (1999) |
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Nov 10, 2004
|
|
1/5
|
0%
|
Double Dragon (1994) |
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Dec 29, 2003
|
|
1/5
|
45%
|
Billy Madison (1995) |
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Dec 23, 2003
|
|
1/5
|
91%
|
Barton Fink (1991) |
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Dec 23, 2003
|
|
1/5
|
23%
|
Police Academy 2 - Their First Assignment (1985) |
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Dec 12, 2003
|
|
1/5
|
——
|
Scooby-Doo and the Witch's Ghost (1999) |
—
Eclipse Magazine
Posted Dec 12, 2003
|
77%
30%
88%
85%
45%
40%
