|
1/5
|
0%
|
12 in a Box (2009) |
"
Refunds are inevitable."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Mar 21, 2013
|
|
1/5
|
56%
|
People Like Us (2012) |
"
Nothing Like Us would have been more accurate."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Nov 8, 2012
|
|
1/5
|
26%
|
Fun Size (2012) |
"
As ever, "fun size" translates to "no fun whatsoever"."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Nov 1, 2012
|
|
1/5
|
8%
|
A Thousand Kisses Deep () |
"
A vaguely ambitious but finally wretched exploration of alternative poverty-row realities."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Jun 14, 2012
|
|
1/5
|
62%
|
Café de Flore (2012) |
"
Remove the subtitles, and it's one of Cameron Crowe's head-in-the-clouds dramas, as scripted by M Night Shyamalan..."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted May 10, 2012
|
|
1/5
|
7%
|
Post Grad (2009) |
"
It's of note chiefly for giving likeable performers not one worthwhile thing to do between them."
—
Scotsman
Posted Jan 5, 2010
|
|
1/5
|
18%
|
Dance Flick (2009) |
"
A few very throwaway chuckles rank it above Meet the Spartans and Disaster Movie in the movie gutter, for what it's worth, but it's been assembled with the usual shoddiness."
—
Scotsman
Posted Aug 21, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
2%
|
Disaster Movie (2008) |
"
Surely even bovine American teenagers have to realise their intelligence is being insulted sooner or later."
—
Daily Telegraph
Posted Sep 5, 2008
|
|
|
61%
|
The Reader (2008) |
"
The revelation of evil not only confounds the characters here; it numbs the film, stifles whatever wayward life it once had in it."
—
Daily Telegraph
Posted Jan 5, 2009
|
|
|
36%
|
Face Addict (2008) |
"
The film is flatly shot, as though to illustrate the dimensional difference between stills photography and cinematography."
—
Daily Telegraph
Posted Aug 22, 2008
|
|
|
13%
|
College Road Trip (2008) |
"
Ladies and gentlemen, we have arrived at a new circle of hell: the one where Martin Lawrence is no longer the most irksome presence in a Martin Lawrence movie."
—
Daily Telegraph
Posted Aug 22, 2008
|
|
|
18%
|
Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) |
"
Can someone beam a hologrammatic representative into Lucasfilm HQ with a message from the real world? Master George, we beseech you, give it up: nobody cares anymore, and besides, your tea's ready."
—
Daily Telegraph
Posted Aug 15, 2008
|
|
|
79%
|
Jimmy Carter Man From Plains (2007) |
"
Only belatedly, with the arrival of Alan Dershowitz, does Demme happen across anybody who might disrupt the air of non-confrontational niceness, but Carter ducks the challenge, and the film heads ever onwards into hagiography. A disappointment."
—
Daily Telegraph
Posted Aug 15, 2008
|
|
|
69%
|
Paris (2008) |
"
An insane amount of dancing can't shake off the heavy feeling we've all been here before, and in the hands of more revealing guides."
—
Daily Telegraph
Posted Jul 25, 2008
|
|
|
78%
|
Lou Reed's Berlin (2008) |
"
For devotees only, I'm guessing."
—
Daily Telegraph
Posted Jul 25, 2008
|
|
|
56%
|
A Complete History of My Sexual Failures (2010) |
"
It's a display of gross bad faith both as documentarist and lover, and its subject probably deserves never to get laid again."
—
Daily Telegraph
Posted Jul 1, 2008
|
|
|
71%
|
Les Femmes de l'Ombre (Female Agents) (2008) |
"
At no point does Female Agents begin to approach the muddy, bloody complexities of war represented by Black Book or Lust, Caution, films genuinely fascinated by the plight of women behind enemy lines."
—
Daily Telegraph
Posted Jul 1, 2008
|
|
|
41%
|
Hancock (2008) |
"
Between the jittery pseudo-realism of Peter Berg's direction and the maudlin undercurrent to its hero's redemption, all Hancock can summon up is the faintest sensation of nausea."
—
Daily Telegraph
Posted Jul 1, 2008
|
|
2/5
|
24%
|
Erased (2013) |
"
It doesn't entirely insult the intelligence, but often leans towards the indifferent."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Mar 28, 2013
|
|
2/5
|
30%
|
King Of The Travellers () |
"
A flibbertigibbet: it arrives with a twinkle in its eye, but little else between its cauliflower ears."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Mar 28, 2013
|
|
2/5
|
——
|
I Superbiker () |
"
Often resembles a fan video for a sport that remains resolutely blokey and unsexy."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Mar 21, 2013
|
|
2/5
|
43%
|
Breath Of The Gods () |
"
There's plenty of stretching, but not much cinema, in this wearying history of yoga."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Feb 21, 2013
|
|
2/5
|
91%
|
Safety Not Guaranteed (2012) |
"
his time-travel romcom wastes lead Aubrey Plaza and dithers until its geek-pandering finale."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Dec 27, 2012
|
|
2/5
|
48%
|
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (2012) |
"
Everyone's tying up loose ends, and demonstrating no particular enthusiasm about doing so."
—
Scotsman
Posted Nov 15, 2012
|
|
2/5
|
39%
|
Here Comes the Boom (2012) |
"
The Wedding Singer's Frank Coraci retains an endearing fondness for funny-faced bit-parts, but it's fundamentally formulaic in construction and mediocre in execution."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Nov 8, 2012
|
|
2/5
|
67%
|
The Tempest (2012) |
"
The kids energise it, but it's a choppy jumble of good intentions and half-realised ideas, too wind-tossed in its structure to function even as a useful teaching aid."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Nov 1, 2012
|
|
2/5
|
13%
|
Inbred () |
"
Both the comedy and horror rake over old ground."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Sep 20, 2012
|
|
2/5
|
66%
|
The Women on the 6th Floor (2011) |
"
Luchini almost rescues it from its own complacency, but the script is equal parts blocked toilets and soft-boiled eggs."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Jul 5, 2012
|
|
2/5
|
58%
|
Kosmos (2010) |
"
Yesil makes a winsome savant, but his tendency to communicate with his beloved in loud squawks of birdsong proves trying, to say the least."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted Jun 14, 2012
|
|
2/5
|
22%
|
What to Expect When You're Expecting (2012) |
"
Someday Hollywood will think of women as more than fallopian tubes in heels; until then, we're stuck with this kind of project."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted May 24, 2012
|
|
2/5
|
36%
|
Iron Sky (2012) |
"
Marginally more inspired and certainly more likable than Snakes on a Plane or The Human Centipede as net-spawned exploitation fodder goes, but you can safely wait for the DVD."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted May 17, 2012
|
|
2/5
|
35%
|
Battle: Los Angeles (2011) |
"
The X-Box game this film wants to be would be ten times more involving, and wouldn't feature Ne-Yo."
—
Scotsman
Posted Mar 14, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
64%
|
Justin Bieber: Never Say Never (2011) |
"
In two years the swooning tweenies on screen and in the audience will feel embarrassed about their reactions; anybody else going should take ear plugs for the shrieky bits."
—
Scotsman
Posted Feb 22, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
32%
|
How Do You Know (2010) |
"
More creative energy has gone into furnishing these characters' apartments than devising credible emotional situations to put them in; the result is wholly undemanding, and best saved for a long-haul flight."
—
Scotsman
Posted Jan 31, 2011
|
|
2/5
|
0%
|
Arthur and the Great Adventure () |
"
Even those generous enough to have rescued 2007's part-animated Arthur and the Invisibles from a DVD bargain bin would likely concede there wasn't much call for a sequel."
—
Scotsman
Posted Dec 27, 2010
|
|
2/5
|
25%
|
Animals United (Konferenz der Tiere) (2012) |
"
What dooms the film to ordinariness are the animals themselves, so lacking in memorable characteristics that parents will most likely spend the 90 minutes guessing which celebrity voice artists have been busy earning themselves a nice Christmas bonus."
—
Scotsman
Posted Dec 20, 2010
|
|
2/5
|
17%
|
You Again (2010) |
"
All soft furnishings and gleaming teeth, it's inoffensive, made for in-flight viewing..."
—
Scotsman
Posted Nov 15, 2010
|
|
2/5
|
46%
|
Step Up 3-D (2010) |
"
Likely to leave even unworldly 12-year-olds rolling, rather than breakin', in the aisles."
—
Scotsman
Posted Aug 9, 2010
|
|
2/5
|
14%
|
Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (2010) |
"
If we are going to put words in the mouths of furballs, they surely have to be funnier than these."
—
Scotsman
Posted Aug 9, 2010
|
|
2/5
|
26%
|
Ninja Assassin (2009) |
"
All the expensive surface distraction in the world can't make up for leaden plotting, paper-thin characters and lousy dialogue."
—
Scotsman
Posted Jan 22, 2010
|
|
2/5
|
10%
|
St Trinian's II: The Legend of Fritton's Gold (2009) |
"
The girl-power subtext is about as sincere as a speech one student is given about climate change. St Trinian's remains the franchise that will show you its knickers - and say whatever you want to hear - for a pound."
—
Scotsman
Posted Dec 18, 2009
|
|
2/5
|
25%
|
Fame (2009) |
"
Fame 2009 has turns rather than scenes, and its interchangeable students don't have names to remember so much as tags: "angry", "nervy", "blonde". Most can sing or dance, though the relentless exhibitionism grows tiring."
—
Scotsman
Posted Sep 25, 2009
|
|
2/5
|
14%
|
I Love You Beth Cooper (2009) |
"
This appears too obviously the work of middle-aged men - director Columbus included - trying to regain past glories."
—
Scotsman
Posted Aug 21, 2009
|
|
2/5
|
37%
|
The Time Traveler's Wife (2009) |
"
Surprisingly watchable up until its late, headlong plunge into TV-movie blandness."
—
Scotsman
Posted Aug 14, 2009
|
|
2/5
|
16%
|
Crossing Over (2009) |
"
At once ambitious, familiar in its multi-stranded storytelling, and suspect in its underlying politics."
—
Scotsman
Posted Jul 31, 2009
|
|
2/5
|
13%
|
The Informers (2009) |
"
Much of it remains purposefully pointless, and Ellis and Jordan never attempt to reframe the dead-eyed hedonism and solipsism that makes these characters very hard to care about."
—
Scotsman
Posted Jul 17, 2009
|
|
2/5
|
25%
|
El Cantante (2007) |
"
Leon Ichaso's film soft-pedals everything save the language in what often resembles a made-for-cable biopic."
—
Daily Telegraph
Posted Sep 5, 2008
|
|
2/5
|
9%
|
Bangkok Dangerous (2008) |
"
It's certainly no worse than the original - a flashy grab-bag of tricks to begin with - and has a certain grim stylishness in its favour, but you miss the breezy, funny Cage of old."
—
Daily Telegraph
Posted Sep 5, 2008
|
|
2/4
|
28%
|
Clash of the Titans (2010) |
"
Cheesier than the fondue at a Roman orgy."
—
Scotsman
Posted Apr 8, 2010
|
|
3/5
|
84%
|
Dragon (2012) |
"
Yen again proves one of the few martial artists equally adept with subtler emotional beats."
—
Guardian [UK]
Posted May 2, 2013
|
78%
——
——
85%
45%
40%
