Robert Abele

Robert Abele

Agrees with the Tomatometer 79% of the time.

Robert Abele's reviews (from any publication) always count toward the Tomatometer because this critic is a Tomatometer-approved critic.

Listing Of All Reviews & Articles

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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review
No Score Yet Quiet Riot: Well Now You're Here, There's No Way Back (2015) "There are occasionally interesting peeks into the hard work of keeping a flame alive that burned briefly 30 years ago. But mostly this is a video tour book for fans, no more, no less. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted May 21, 2015
8% The Human Centipede III (Final Sequence) (2015) "If you hate movies, and you find sexual assault funny, "The Human Centipede III: Final Sequence" should meet your needs. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted May 21, 2015
No Score Yet Absolution (2015) "Seagal looks like a disgraced Vegas magician, swaddled in a big coat and sporting an unfortunate goatee, drowsy line readings and the combat prowess of a walrus. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted May 20, 2015
26% Every Secret Thing (2015) "Crushingly listless and at times as off-putting as a needle scratching vinyl ... " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted May 14, 2015
100% Shake the Dust (2015) "For the most part "Shake the Dust" is a passably engaging ode to joy, the kind that feels special because it's hard-earned and communal, and it displaces adversity, however briefly. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted May 14, 2015
63% Days of Grace (2015) "Gout undermines his own spiky, ambitious narrative with all the visual interference, as dazzling as it often is. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted May 14, 2015
61% The Connection (2015) "Despite the pedestrian screenplay (by Jimenez and Audrey Diwan), Dujardin and Lellouche are magnetic performers who slip easily into their antagonistic roles. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted May 14, 2015
No Score Yet The Ocean of Helena Lee (2015) "This is narratively thin, tone-poem stuff: pretty images of raggedly beautiful L.A. set to a driving score, with emotions always at a music-video remove. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted May 8, 2015
54% Saint Laurent (2015) "A mostly jumbled array of biographical swatches. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted May 7, 2015
43% The D Train (2015) "A recognizably delusional schlub sits at the center of the loser comedy "The D Train," thanks to the sad-sack acumen of Jack Black. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted May 7, 2015
48% Ride (2015) "This is suitably engaging coming-of-middle-age material, but at nearly every turn, Hunt shines in one discipline while leaving much to be desired in another. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Apr 30, 2015
31% Cas & Dylan (2015) "There's a full tank of clich├ęs for the mismatched-strangers road movie "Cas & Dylan," the feature directing debut of Jason Priestley, and the sputtering is cacophonous even with two gifted actors leading the way. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Apr 30, 2015
No Score Yet Bass Clef Bliss (2015) "Director Patrick Scott willingly sacrifices emotional storytelling and unforced observance for staged scenes, jarringly edited interviews and cloyingly scored nuggets of positivity from everyone in Terrence's orbit. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Apr 23, 2015
17% Little Boy (2015) "Tolerance, World War II history and faith are served up with a sticky sentimental gloss in the family film "Little Boy." " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Apr 23, 2015
69% The Harvest (2015) "At its creepiest, "The Harvest" plays like something ripped from the section of a community newspaper devoted to all things rural and weird. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Apr 23, 2015
17% The Squeeze (2015) "Between plot and character, there are definitely 18 holes in "The Squeeze." " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Apr 16, 2015
49% True Story (2015) "Unfortunately this "Story" never finds its footing as either a creepy morality play or a performance-driven two-hander. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Apr 16, 2015
62% Unfriended (2015) "As a harangue about cyberbullying, it's purely exploitative, but when "Unfriended" zeros in on the whiplash mixture of freedom and torment we get from multitasking our online lives? It's srsly fun, imo. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Apr 16, 2015
20% The Reconstruction Of William Zero (2015) "A solid sci-fi story with a welcome emotional component, yet never fully effective at either. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Apr 9, 2015
91% Manos Sucias "Though the plot turns aren't necessarily surprising and characterizations a bit facile, Wladyka manages tense moments, particularly a chase on motorized rail cars. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Apr 9, 2015
92% White God (2015) "By turns Dickensian, Marxist and dystopian, it's a movie as deliriously unclassifiable as it is expertly focused in its desire to provoke and entertain. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Apr 2, 2015
22% The Barber (2015) ""The Barber" is one of those did-he-or-didn't-he? thrillers that more readily asks another question, the answer to which is: Yes, they did ... make a seriously dumb movie. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Mar 26, 2015
91% Jauja (2015) ""Jauja" makes one cryptic leap too many at the end, but until then it evocatively confounds. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Mar 26, 2015
86% Backcountry (2015) ""Backcountry" inevitably brings on the bloody, but it finds atmospheric ways to depict how the bucolic hush of a nature getaway can morph into a survival nightmare for the unprepared. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Mar 26, 2015
93% Man from Reno (2015) "Like any good purveyor of noir, Boyle, who wrote the film with Joel Clark and Michael Lerman, understands that identifying someone is only one endgame while the mystery of identity is naggingly, tragically endless. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Mar 26, 2015
21% My Way (2011) "[Director Kang Je-kyu] engineers one long pummel session of elaborate CGI effects, shaky battle cinematography and trial-by-fire heroics, but the nonstop adversity lacks any real sense of danger. Or, for that matter, emotional punch. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Mar 13, 2015
56% Champs (2015) "No one documentary could ever really encompass all that's fascinating and distressing about boxing as a kingmaking sport, a violent cultural phenomenal and a shady business. The slickly made "Champs" certainly tries, with varied success. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Mar 12, 2015
78% Farewell to Hollywood (2015) "Are we witnessing a life celebrated? Or intrusiveness tolerated and the end of life fetishized? " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Mar 12, 2015
52% Road Hard (2015) "Jokes, anger and sentimentality mix uneasily in comedian Adam Carolla's directorial debut (with co-writer Kevin Hench), "Road Hard." " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Mar 5, 2015
20% Kidnapping Mr. Heineken (2015) "Despite its true-events pedigree, "Kidnapping Mr. Heineken" is woefully captive to B-movie crime saga tropes. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Mar 5, 2015
29% Out Of The Dark (2015) "A movie lovely to look at but on-the-nose and crushingly dull, a pair of qualities a ghost yarn can't live on. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Feb 27, 2015
80% WYRMWOOD: Road Of The Dead (2015) "The Roache-Turners prove to have the right mix of micro-budget filmmaking ingenuity, action sass and undead splatter to make "Wyrmwood" a tastier than usual exploitation nosh. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Feb 27, 2015
33% Everly (2015) "Feels precision-engineered for a morally torn fanboy who likes the idea of female empowerment but needs it served with a heavy dose of torture porn and glistening flesh. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Feb 26, 2015
83% Queen and Country (2015) "Boorman's point of view and on-screen alter ego seemed stylistically in sync in the first film, but "Queen & Country" - though often charming - has a tendency to wander and strain, which might say enough about capturing '50s England. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Feb 26, 2015
14% Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015) "If one has to sit in front of a jet spray of degradation gags, better it feel like the occasional seltzer spritz than a fire hose blast to the crotch. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Feb 19, 2015
35% Da Sweet Blood of Jesus (2015) "While this return to indie roots frees up Lee's often gifted image making, his usual pace issues and penchant for jagged flourish over sustained feeling keep it from achieving a rich, strange, sexy and sad whole. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Feb 12, 2015
71% The Voices (2015) "The big question here is why any of "The Voices," as crisply made and stylish as it is, should matter or entertain. The cold truth is that it doesn't. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Feb 5, 2015
70% Preservation (2015) "Its pretensions about humans-becoming-animals aside, "Preservation" is still pretty fun, if paradoxically more so before the blood sport begins. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Jan 29, 2015
32% Dark Summer (2015) "It's hard not to think of viewing "Dark Summer" as running-time served. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Jan 22, 2015
11% The Boy Next Door (2015) "Breathless, uninspired January junk that feels like the iffiest bits of a Lifetime movie and late-night cable schlock slapped together. (And not erotically.) " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Jan 22, 2015
18% Manny (2015) "It makes for a choppy, unsatisfying portrait when any topic outside the worshipful career momentum and expected dazzling fight footage - personal demons, his growth in a corrupt sport, the weight of being an icon - is addressed. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Jan 22, 2015
No Score Yet The Touch of an Angel "Pawlowski, who films Schoenker revisiting many of these haunted locations in Poland, takes the regrettable license of larding his subject's testimony with unnecessary aesthetic fringe ... " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Jan 17, 2015
4% Vice (2015) ""Vice" is "Blade Runner" on the cheap and minus the imagination. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Jan 17, 2015
76% Match (2015) "Too quickly "Match" rips the mask off to reveal its simple and sour moral melodrama about libertine artists and life choices, and suddenly the whole thing's hoofing and the sweat stains show. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Jan 14, 2015
90% The Guest (2014) "One of the many pleasures of director Adam Wingard's tough, fun thriller "The Guest" is seeing Matthew Crawley -- er, British actor Dan Stevens -- serve up a mesmerizing star turn of psycho charm. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Jan 5, 2015
36% After The Fall (2014) "The basic story's narrative and psychological simplicity - characters stating their beliefs over and over again - becomes an increasing burden. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Dec 22, 2014
29% The Captive (2014) "Becomes baroque and ludicrous as the Hitchcockian scenario loses its psychological bearings in a web of trashy plot twists and self-conscious jumps in time. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Dec 18, 2014
6% The Color of Time (2014) ""The Color of Time" is an odd bird in that its 12 cooks don't necessarily spoil the broth. The problem is that they leave it as broth. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Dec 11, 2014
73% Magician: The Astonishing Life and Work of Orson Welles (2014) "Workman's movie is low on new or lasting insight. It even pads with moments from more recent biopics ("RKO 281," "Me and Orson Welles"), and often leaves interview excerpts - from the living and the long-deceased - feeling too abbreviated. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Dec 10, 2014
No Score Yet By The Gun (2014) "A strong contender for laziest mob movie ever made, the Boston-set Italian mafia tale "By the Gun" proves that what was once thrillingly exotic and coolly dangerous about gangster films is now hopelessly monotonous. " ‐ Los Angeles Times
Posted Dec 4, 2014
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