Simon Abrams

Simon Abrams

Agrees with the Tomatometer 66% of the time.

Simon Abrams's reviews only count toward the Tomatometer when published at the following Tomatometer-approved publication(s): New York Press, RogerEbert.com, Slant Magazine, The Playlist, Village Voice

Listing Of All Reviews & Articles

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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review
3/4 No Score Yet Wild City (Bou Chau Mai Sing) (2015) ". This is a film noir that is, despite some jittery, Tony Scott-esque action sequences, so cool, that you will leave it begging for a sequel. " ‐ RogerEbert.com
Posted Jul 31, 2015
53% A LEGO Brickumentary (2015) "A largely genial but frequently wearying feature-length toy ad. " ‐ Village Voice
Posted Jul 28, 2015
11% Paulo Coelho's Best Story (2015) "Coelho's writing may be "more [widely] translated than [Shakespeare's]," as the coda claims, but Paulo Coelho's Best Story never successfully pins down its subject's genius. " ‐ Village Voice
Posted Jul 28, 2015
2/4 17% The Vatican Tapes (2015) "Whose idea of a fun time is this? " ‐ RogerEbert.com
Posted Jul 24, 2015
70% Unexpected (2015) "Unexpected, a disappointing what-to-expect-when-you're-expecting comedy, tackles thorny issues of class and racial inequality with undue mildness. " ‐ Village Voice
Posted Jul 21, 2015
1/4 83% Alleluia (2015) "Watching "Alléluia" is like being chauffeured by experienced drivers who only know how to drive Manual, but have suddenly decided to learn how to drive stick shift during bumper-to-bumper rush hour traffic in the Holland Tunnel. " ‐ RogerEbert.com
Posted Jul 17, 2015
28% The Ardor (2015) "Too bad that Ardor's arrhythmic editing and glacial pacing make it impossible to get lost in its jungles - or to invest in its pseudo-mystical ambiance. " ‐ Village Voice
Posted Jul 14, 2015
25% Jellyfish Eyes (2015) "Watching unmemorable child protagonists repeatedly fight and bond with each other and a bunch of F.R.I.E.N.D.s, tacky-looking Pokémon-esque monsters, is unproductively exhausting. " ‐ Village Voice
Posted Jul 14, 2015
14% The Gallows (2015) "The Gallows is only good enough to make you wish its creators did something novel with its formulaic style, plot, and characterizations. " ‐ Village Voice
Posted Jul 9, 2015
1/4 55% Stung (2015) ""Stung" is the worst kind of neo-exploitation film: the kind that encourages you to root for a good guy who is essentially a man-child until crisis mode kicks in, and he abruptly becomes Badass Grownupmin. " ‐ RogerEbert.com
Posted Jul 3, 2015
2.5/4 69% Rubble Kings (2015) ""Rubble Kings" might have been great. As it is, the film is a one-sided, but satisfying tribute to an alternatively terrifying and beguiling city that we can only revisit in movies. " ‐ RogerEbert.com
Posted Jun 19, 2015
37% The Face Of An Angel (2015) "The Face of an Angel may not be like any other whodunit you've seen, but it's also only superficially smarter than the genre it defines itself against. " ‐ Village Voice
Posted Jun 16, 2015
1/4 22% The Stranger (2015) "It's a lousy little film that is so dark and joyless that it leaves you feeling like you wasted your time watching it. " ‐ RogerEbert.com
Posted Jun 12, 2015
60% Insidious: Chapter 3 (2015) "Tepid ghost story Insidious: Chapter 3 tries and fails to emphasize character-driven drama over cheap, jump-scare-intensive thrills. " ‐ Village Voice
Posted Jun 11, 2015
No Score Yet Redeemer (2015) "Though Chilean western/martial-arts hybrid Redeemer may stall whenever it's not in ass-kicking gear, leading man Marko Zaror is charming enough to make you want to overlook his latest vehicle's humorless posturing. " ‐ Village Voice
Posted Jun 10, 2015
No Score Yet Dreadnaught (1981) "A bizarre, imaginative kung fu film whose talented cast helps transcend its clashing generic conventions. " ‐ Village Voice
Posted Jun 10, 2015
3/4 91% A Pigeon Sat on a Branch Reflecting on Existence (2015) "It's a series of comedic sketches about people who are too self-involved to empathize with each other. It's also a plaintively blunt wake-up call, and an effective demand for viewers' vigilant sensitivity. " ‐ RogerEbert.com
Posted Jun 3, 2015
86% Doomsdays (2015) "Thoughtful buddy comedy Doomsdays makes spending time with manic man-children a lot more fun than it should be. " ‐ Village Voice
Posted Jun 2, 2015
1.5/4 67% Sunset Edge (2015) "An unusual, ambitious failure, mostly because the film's hyper-naturalistic style is meant to evoke a supernatural mood. " ‐ RogerEbert.com
Posted May 29, 2015
0% Unfreedom (2015) "Unfreedom quickly devolves into an absurdly pessimistic provocation. " ‐ Village Voice
Posted May 26, 2015
16% Barely Lethal (2015) "Teen action-comedy Barely Lethal is this summer's best film with a truly unfortunate title. " ‐ Village Voice
Posted May 26, 2015
0/4 18% The Human Centipede III (Final Sequence) (2015) "You get what you pay for with this last sequel: a cynical, and consistently unpleasant film with creators who try very, very hard to push as many of your buttons as they can. " ‐ RogerEbert.com
Posted May 22, 2015
No Score Yet Game of Thrones: Season 2 Episode 6 "After last week's thematically spastic episode, it's refreshing to see that a simple and direct, albeit unambitious, theme unites the various plot strands in "The Old Gods and the New." " ‐ Slant Magazine
Posted May 21, 2015
No Score Yet Game of Thrones: Season 2 Episode 5 "With "The Ghost of Harrenhal," David Benioff and D.B. Weiss try too hard to introduce an elemental aspect to Game of Thrones's focus on the nature of power. " ‐ Slant Magazine
Posted May 21, 2015
No Score Yet Game of Thrones: Season 2 Episode 4 "The second season of Game of Thrones really hit its stride tonight with "Garden of Bones," an episode that heightens the tension in a number of major inter-related conflicts to great effect. " ‐ Slant Magazine
Posted May 21, 2015
No Score Yet Game of Thrones: Season 2 Episode 3 "With tonight's episode, the writers of Game of Thrones continue the trend of organizing each episode of season two around a different theme. " ‐ Slant Magazine
Posted May 21, 2015
No Score Yet Game of Thrones: Season 2 Episode 2 "After last week's remarkable season premiere of Game of Thrones, "The Night Lands" is a bit of a letdown. " ‐ Slant Magazine
Posted May 21, 2015
No Score Yet Game of Thrones: Season 2 Episode 1 "The most exciting thing about the season-two premiere of Game of Thrones is its refreshing sense of focus. " ‐ Slant Magazine
Posted May 21, 2015
90% Sunshine Superman (2015) "You may not leave Sunshine Superman wanting to emulate Carl and Jean, but you will feel like you've vicariously bonded with them. " ‐ Village Voice
Posted May 19, 2015
3/4 62% Dark Star: HR Giger's World (2015) ""Dark Star: H.R. Giger's World" only deepens the enduring mystique that surrounds Giger's legacy. " ‐ RogerEbert.com
Posted May 15, 2015
40% Know How (2015) "Despite a handful of immediately upsetting sequences, DIY hip-hop musical Know How never coheres into a cathartic fictional account of its creators' turbulent adolescence. " ‐ Village Voice
Posted May 12, 2015
82% Our Man in Tehran (2015) "Informative but tedious ... for anyone who watched Argo and then wished to hear a ditzy, history-obsessed uncle ramble about the real-life political stakes of the 1979 Iranian hostage crisis. " ‐ Village Voice
Posted May 12, 2015
3/4 20% Skin Trade (2015) "If you like your martial arts films to be action-packed, but also unironically simplistic, and thoughtlessly violent, then you will really enjoy Skin Trade. " ‐ RogerEbert.com
Posted May 11, 2015
56% Infini (2015) "For a while, it's exciting enough to feel brand-new. " ‐ Village Voice
Posted May 11, 2015
59% Gotham: Season 1 Episode 22 "Everything tonight, from Nygma's trite, schizophrenic monologue to Mooney's sudden return, suggests that the show's creators... ran out of gas several episodes ago. " ‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Posted May 5, 2015
54% Maggie (2015) "Schwarzenegger may be Maggie's main attraction, but he's so inessential to the film's drama that he could easily be replaced by a grimacing, monosyllabic pull-string doll. " ‐ Village Voice
Posted May 5, 2015
3/4 43% Gerontophilia (2015) "This is a comedy that encourages viewers to be impulsive, and pointedly seek love and acceptance outside of "normal" social institutions, especially when it comes to family and romance. " ‐ RogerEbert.com
Posted May 1, 2015
3/4 65% Reality (2015) "The film will only work for you if you expect it not to make sense, and enjoy jokes that go on and on and then suddenly (and repeatedly) jack-knife off a cliff or two. " ‐ RogerEbert.com
Posted May 1, 2015
60% Gotham: Season 1 Episode 21 "The show's male characters, both leading men and killer-of-the-week supporting characters, are typified by mommy issues, quaintly paternalistic attitudes, and/or outright misogynistic outbursts. " ‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Posted Apr 28, 2015
31% Cas & Dylan (2015) "Leading man Richard Dreyfuss is so irrepressibly charming that he almost saves Jason Priestley's dismal buddy comedy Cas & Dylan from its awkward humor and trite sentimentality. " ‐ Village Voice
Posted Apr 28, 2015
3/5 77% Gotham: Season 1 Episode 20 "The most promising part of "Under the Knife" is the mentor/pupil dynamic the Ogre tries to foster with Barbara Kean. " ‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Posted Apr 21, 2015
3/4 35% Beyond The Reach (2015) "Watching Douglas behave like a narcissistic scumbag is an absolute pleasure, one in which viewers of action-adventure "Beyond the Reach" can happily indulge. " ‐ RogerEbert.com
Posted Apr 17, 2015
2/4 66% The Dead Lands (2015) ""The Dead Lands" doesn't add up to much, but it is always on the verge of becoming more than just a bed time story for guys that wish "Braveheart" had a biceps-kissing baby with "Ong Bak." " ‐ RogerEbert.com
Posted Apr 17, 2015
2.5/4 73% Roar (1981) "If you want to see cats chasing people in packs, falling over themselves to descend stairwells, and jump up trees to swipe at disposable human protagonists--you will probably enjoy "Roar." " ‐ RogerEbert.com
Posted Apr 17, 2015
2/5 64% Gotham: Season 1 Episode 19 "While last week's episode suggested that various characters are on their way to getting what they really want, tonight's episode makes it seem as if progress won't come to Gotham City without a lot of throat-clearing. " ‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Posted Apr 14, 2015
97% Black Souls (2015) "The makers of Black Souls, a superior Italian gangster movie, deserve praise for executing with atypical sensitivity a generic times-are-changing/nostalgia-for-an-imaginary-chivalrous-yesteryear scenario. " ‐ Village Voice
Posted Apr 7, 2015
3.5/4 85% Cheatin' (2015) ""Cheatin'" is a highlight of Plympton's robust body of work because motion-not the journey, or the destination-is always its creator's priority. " ‐ RogerEbert.com
Posted Apr 3, 2015
2.5/4 89% Spring (2015) "An ambitious and often enchanting genre hybrid ... " ‐ RogerEbert.com
Posted Mar 20, 2015
1/4 66% Zombeavers (2015) "A comedy that sounds much funnier than it actually is. " ‐ RogerEbert.com
Posted Mar 20, 2015
No Score Yet China is Near (La Cina e vicina) (1967) "China Is Near's hysterically cynical plot could easily take place anywhere there's a surplus of social-climbers. " ‐ Village Voice
Posted Mar 17, 2015
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