Simon Abrams

Simon Abrams

Agrees with the Tomatometer 66% of the time.

Publications:
House Next Door , New York Press , RogerEbert.com , Slant Magazine , The Playlist , Twitch
Critics' Group:
Online Film Critics Society
Total Reviews:
337

Listing Of All Reviews & Articles

Showing 1 - 50 of 337
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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date
2.5/4 30% As Above/So Below (2014) " "As Above, So Below" is novel enough to be worth the price of admission, but you'll think twice before getting back in line for a second visit." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Aug 29, 2014
3/4 47% The Strange Color of Your Body's Tears (2014) " It's a confrontational fever dream film told from constantly shifting perspectives, and a chilly, dizzying trip into a genre defined by violently conflicting emotions." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Aug 29, 2014
64% 14 Blades (2014) " Come for Ku's joyful choreography, stay for Yen's most memorable post-comeback performance." — Village Voice
Posted Aug 19, 2014
3/4 67% Ragnarok (2014) " "Ragnarok" is the rare Spielberg clone that feels like it was made by people that not only know what they like about Spielberg's films, but are capable of evoking them." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Aug 15, 2014
14% Jake Squared (2014) " More enervating than it is ambitious, Jake Squared is partly a romantic comedy and mostly a pseudo-philosophical apology for self-absorption." — Village Voice
Posted Aug 12, 2014
1.5/4 20% Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) " Instead of a fun and unchallenging limp down memory lane, "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" is an energy-sapping exercise in futility that will leave you begging for less." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Aug 8, 2014
59% Deepsea Challenge 3D (2014) " Deepsea Challenge has too little interest in anything that's not Cameron's personal experience." — Village Voice
Posted Aug 5, 2014
—— A Bullet for the General (El chuncho, quien sabe?) (1966) " The best reason to see the movie is for Kinski, who delivers the film's most arresting performance." — Village Voice
Posted Jul 29, 2014
2/4 57% The Purge: Anarchy (2014) " Somehow, the fact that writer/director James DeMonaco is more ambitious with his sequel makes it that much more disappointing." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Jul 18, 2014
3/4 80% As It Is In Heaven (2014) " "As It Is in Heaven" ultimately doesn't go anywhere unexpected, but it does foster a potent, unexpected bond between its subjects and its audience." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Jul 11, 2014
1/4 28% Deliver Us from Evil (2014) " Little more than an ugly collection of tropes stolen from "The Exorcist" and "Seven."" — RogerEbert.com
Posted Jul 2, 2014
43% Ravenous (1999) " Imagine a film that makes A Modest Proposal-style satire out of Dracula's gothic horror tropes in the spaghetti western milieu of The Great Silence. It's a pitch-black comedy about Manifest Destiny and cannibal frontiersmen." — Village Voice
Posted Jun 17, 2014
3/4 83% Witching and Bitching (2014) " "Witching and Bitching" is accordingly overlong, and conceptually thin. But like most of de la Iglesia's films, it's also freakishly energetic, and often hysterical." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Jun 13, 2014
2.5/4 55% Ping Pong Summer (2014) " While "Ping Pong Summer" does aggressively pander to viewers' nostalgia (dig that Nike track suit, and Run-D.M.C. cassette tape!), it's also warmer and funnier than its worst jokes." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Jun 6, 2014
25% I'll Follow You Down (2014) " Writer-director Richie Mehta's characters aren't especially thoughtful. Like their creator, they make massive leaps in logic before they do anything." — Village Voice
Posted Jun 3, 2014
2/4 86% Cold in July (2014) " "Cold in July," a pulpy, Texas-set thriller based on hard-boiled horror/thriller author Joe Lansdale's novel, fails to capture the discomfiting qualities that make it a Joe Lansdale story." — RogerEbert.com
Posted May 23, 2014
2.5/4 91% X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) " There's just enough right in "Days of Future Past" to off-set what's wrong." — RogerEbert.com
Posted May 22, 2014
1/4 49% Wolf Creek 2 (2014) " "Wolf Creek 2" isn't much different than "Wolf Creek," but it is markedly worse." — RogerEbert.com
Posted May 16, 2014
34% Stage Fright (2014) " There's nothing lovable about a musical that leaves poor Meat Loaf to grasp lustily at low-hanging fruit." — Village Voice
Posted May 6, 2014
1.5/4 47% Blood Glacier (2014) " "Blood Glacier" is too sleepy to do anything with its guano-stirring premise." — RogerEbert.com
Posted May 2, 2014
1/4 91% The Final Member (2014) " One can't really fault Bekhor and Math for trying to entertain rather than educate viewers. But their carnival barker callousness is really disturbing ..." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Apr 18, 2014
46% That Demon Within (Mo Jing) (2014) " That Demon Within often feels like a berserk plot-vending machine." — Village Voice
Posted Apr 16, 2014
2/4 79% Afflicted (2014) " "Afflicted" is as emotionally involving as a really accomplished special-effects sizzle reel." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Apr 4, 2014
91% Mistaken for Strangers (2014) " Mistaken for Strangers doesn't reveal anything about Tom but his own insecurity." — Village Voice
Posted Mar 25, 2014
2.5/4 83% Patrick: Evil Awakens (2014) " More horror remakes should be as thoughtful as "Patrick: Evil Awakens," an atypically clever riff on the 1978 Australian thriller "Patrick."" — RogerEbert.com
Posted Mar 14, 2014
1/4 30% Date And Switch (2014) " The subject certainly isn't dated, but the film's dull post-John Hughes, sub-Judd Apatow style of comedy is like a just-buried time capsule full of accumulated clichés." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Feb 14, 2014
0% Chander Pahar (2014) " Based on the popular Bengali novel of the same name, Chander Pahar is an unfocused adventure-cum-travelogue." — Village Voice
Posted Jan 7, 2014
94% Milius " Thankfully, Milius is not just a hagiographic portrait of the artist as a crotchety, marginalized dynamo." — Village Voice
Posted Jan 7, 2014
1/4 14% 47 Ronin (2013) " In spite of its enjoyable, easy-to-exploit aspects, "47 Ronin" is a big budget spectacle hamstrung by its need to be at once flippant and respectful of its honor-driven source material." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Dec 26, 2013
4/4 78% Breakfast With Curtis (2013) " It's a lived-in, unsentimental comedy about a community of smug but sympathetic intellectuals that, by film's end, becomes a little better-integrated." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Dec 20, 2013
40% Friend 2: The Legacy (2013) " While it's not much worse than its predecessor, Friend 2: The Legacy has none of the bromantic charm that made Friend, South Korean writer-director Kyung-Taek Kwak's 2001 gangster drama, the highest-grossing film in Korean history." — Village Voice
Posted Dec 10, 2013
1.5/4 44% Khumba (2013) " "Khumba" is essentially cut-and-paste cinema. The film's creators borrow a lot from the "Madagascar" and "Ice Age" films, and while that doesn't sound that bad, "Khumba" is disastrously uninspired." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Dec 6, 2013
40% Commitment (2013) " When Commitment isn't a perfectly forgettable action film, it's either an oil-thin melodrama or a charbroiled treat for meatheads." — Village Voice
Posted Dec 3, 2013
2/4 59% Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom (2013) " The film reduces Mandela's ideas to impassioned sloganeering, and the repercussions of his ideas to unmoving montage sequences." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Dec 1, 2013
4/4 91% The Great Beauty (2013) " While it is definitely Fellini-esque, it's also a crystallization of Sorrentino's own distinctive style." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Nov 15, 2013
60% Maniac Cop 2 (1990) " The plot - Robert Davi's stoic detective and Claudia Christian's pushy psychologist hunt an undead lawman (Robert Z'Dar) - is pretty dull, but the film handily coasts on sleazy charm." — Village Voice
Posted Nov 12, 2013
—— Speciesism: The Movie (2013) " Many of the assumptions that Devries's arguments are based on are left unexamined, like his mostly unqualified comparison of the treatment of animals at family-run farms and factory-controlled farms." — Village Voice
Posted Nov 11, 2013
2.5/4 65% Thor: The Dark World (2013) " There's just enough tension and humor in "Thor: The Dark World" to make the film's otherwise listless proceedings worth watching, but only just." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Nov 8, 2013
89% The Wind Rises (2014) " An emotionally generous and expansively detailed romantic fantasy." — Village Voice
Posted Nov 5, 2013
1.5/4 79% Aftermath (2013) " "Aftermath" is toothless, and that's inexcusable for a civics lesson that's supposed to jolt us out of complacency." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Nov 1, 2013
2/4 60% Ender's Game (2013) " The movie version of Orson Scott Card's "Ender's Game" is way too kind, and the drama suffers greatly for it." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Nov 1, 2013
96% I Am Divine (2013) " It's gratifying to see Divine praised for being outrageous ..." — Village Voice
Posted Oct 22, 2013
2.5/4 53% Haunter (2013) " "Haunter" has a solid setup, but the further Natali and King coax you into their labyrinth, the harder it becomes to appreciate what initially made their film so promising." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Oct 18, 2013
2.5/4 11% I Will Follow You Into The Dark (2013) " Smart and scary horror films about faith, and loneliness are rare, and for the most part, "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" is pretty exciting." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Oct 17, 2013
3/4 61% Bad Milo! (2013) " On paper, "Bad Milo!" sounds loosey-goosey-crazy-go-nuts. But in practice, it's understated, if only in relation to its bonkers premise." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Oct 4, 2013
2/4 80% I Used To Be Darker (2013) " It's hard to appreciate an intentionally blurry portrait of a family that's so impressionistic that all you can see of its already-withdrawn characters are their shadows." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Oct 4, 2013
0.5/4 6% Battle of the Year (2013) " The movie's inability to showcase its greatest asset, the grace and control of its dancers, is its most conspicuous failing." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Sep 20, 2013
1/4 60% GMO OMG (2013) " This is a David-vs.-Goliath movie, but David's aim is so spotty that Goliath has nothing to fear." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Sep 13, 2013
2/4 38% Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013) " Insidious: Chapter 2 is a puzzle movie with too many unnecessary pieces and not enough essential ones, but it's superior to its predecessor in a few basic ways." — RogerEbert.com
Posted Sep 13, 2013
B- 31% Adore (2013) " Adore is a proudly feminist film, with both its pedigree and its themes allowing additional opportunities for women." — The Playlist
Posted Sep 6, 2013
Showing 1 - 50 of 337
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