Joshua G

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The Worst Films I Saw in 2011 Whilst I did make some terrible mistakes, shelling out money for garbage deserving of no such amount, I can thank my lucky stars I avoided Adam Sandler twice, any teen vampires, and any other nightmares "worst of the year" nominees I have seen flying around. These ten ARE ranked in order and I would saw the top 7 are worse to me. Green Lantern is the only passable film purely because it was so bad, it was good. 1. Hall Pass (Farrelly Brothers) So bad, the cinema crowd I was in (including ourselves) were yelling and groaning at the film to end. A cinematic abomination. Owen Wilson & Jason Sudekis show just how un-funny they are by starring in the world film of the year. There is nothing redeemable about this film, no hidden quality, no hint of fun. There was nothing more putrid, vile or vacant than Hall Pass in 2011. 2. Transformers: Dark of the Moon (Michael Bay) Exhausting, long, messy, noisy, completely inept of plot and over-run with a zillion characters (most of whom are as developed as scrap-metal). The special effects are great, but it's not enough when you can predict the play-by-play ending (zoom out over destroyed city, pouty blonde/Brit version of Megan Fox clings to Shia "I just crapped my pants face" LaBeouf as Optimus Prime narrates some crap about "humanity", then fade to black with a Linkin Park song and "Directed by Michael Bay"). 3. Sucker Punch (Zach Snyder) Visually impressive in a few moments, it's a shame that Sucker Punch has to be here on this list, given the large amount escapism the film appears to offer. Like a fugly sister to Inception, the film is so bloated with ridiculous, WTF moments and bizarre plotlines, it never manages to hold your attention. By the end of this film I was at a complete loss to describe how bad it felt. Much like AeonFlux, it's tedious pacing and over-excessive visuals yet no depth grate away at you. The large amount of terrible, emo/pop-esque cover songs (incl. song by The Pixies & Eurythmics) and sexual exploitation of females becomes so frustrating, by the half-way mark you becomes thrilled ("SPOILER" ALERT!) when Vanessa Hudgens character gets shot. Awful. 4. Snowtown (Justin Kurzel) An awful, inexcusably exploitive and dark piece of garbage I would encourage EVERY SINGLE PERSON TO AVOID. The only film in my life I have ever walked out on. Made by a first-time director who clearly knew he'd find an audience tackling such brutal, infamous subject matter. There is something sinister about the way this film was made, a vile hypocrisy of the most spiteful kind. I'm sure the point could be made that plenty of films show far too great an excess of violence, and there is some merit to that argument. However, this is a tedious exercise in torture porn, exploitation, paedo-hypocrisy (just made a word) and mind-numbing abuse of recent historical events. I don't think I can say how one would go about making a movie about a nation's most graphic & brutal serial killings, but I don't see how glorifying it with horrific retellings just justice or ads any weight to what is a dark chapter for an Australian community. Avoid this at all costs. Utter garbage. 5. Final Destination 5 (Stephen Quale) There is no sense to me even delving into the reason why you DON'T need to see this. A completely empty horror-film with un-subtle cliche'd Saw-esque viewpoints. So-and-so is a thief and a pervert so therefore he deserves to die, such & such is a malicious bitch, so it's OK she dies. Never has a franchise been so recklessly piss-poor. 6. Priest (Scott Stewart) Christopher Plummer said in an interview a month-or-so ago, "I'm having the most fun" about all the work he'd been doing lately (something to that nature). You'd imagine he'd have to be to take up his small, supporting role here. This film appears unfinished, half-baked. It ends by the most ridiculous anti-climax of the year and further tarnishes the once-reputable Paul Bettany. 7. The Inbetweeners (Ben Palmer) The equally talent-less & boring TV series, bought to life on the big-screen with just as little wit, humour or originality. Dirty in the most uninspiring forms and sticks to the tightest of Captain-Obvious formulas, this film is a sleep-inducing comedy that frustrates as the minutes tick by. 8. Bad Teacher (Jake Kasdan) It should be said, there ARE some good performances in Bad Teacher in some moments, yet the film is undone by what is clearly a funny skit drawn out (in agonising fashion) into a feature length film. Cameron Diaz isn't shocking as the lead, she just isn't talented enough to carry this "comedy". The film works hard to make it's audience laugh, and it's barely able to make any of them pay-off and in the end looks an exhausted mess. Jason Segel looks completely out of place and Lucy Punch looks confused. 9. Paul (Greg Mottola) This film does have some funny moments, and Seth Rogen was a great choice for the title role, however it isn't enough to save this film from flopping. Motolla, along with stars Pegg & Frost have created a film that is both smug and hypocritical. It's bizarrely obvious attack on American christians without any dimension or weight is both lazy and cheap. The ending is a misfire with far too many characters, distractions and not enough point to keep attention, or for that matter interest. 10 Green Lantern (Berlanti & Campbell) You know it's going to be 2011's "So Bad, It's Good" when Peter Sarsgaad's villain scream's "noooooooooooooooooooo". This is truly awful, and possibly worse than most films this year, however, my experience of watching it with friends and laughing endlessly throughout, made it quite enjoyable. :) Thoughts? Yours?
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