Critics Consensus: Machete Is Trashy Fun

Plus, Going the Distance Gets Dumped, and The American is a strange spy flick. is trashy fun.

This week at the movies, we've got one tough Mexican (Machete, starring Danny Trejo and Jessica Alba), long-distance lovers (Going the Distance, starring Drew Barrymore and Justin Long), and a lonely assassin (The American, starring George Clooney and Thekla Reuten). What do the critics have to say?
72%
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Fresh

Machete

Machete started as a trailer for a fake movie, then became a real movie. It's a curious route to the multiplex, but critics say this old-school exploitation flick largely delivers - if you're in the mood some sleazy fun with zero pretense. Danny Trejo stars as the title character, a migrant worker who's enlisted to assassinate a firebrand politician before being double-crossed. Will he get the women? Will he kill the bad guys? The pundits say Robert Rodriguez' latest excursion into grindhouse territory isn't particularly profound, but it's a trashy good time, loaded with wildly violent action and gloriously disreputable kicks.


53%
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Rotten

Going the Distance

It's a modern conundrum that many face: what do you do when you meet the person of your dreams -- right before they relocate to a new city? It's a concept that Going the Distance attempts to address, but unfortunately, critics say this so-so romantic comedy is light on substance and relies too heavily on the natural charm of its leads. Drew Barrymore and Justin Long star as two thirtysomethings on the verge of couplehood, but with a major stumbling block - she's on the verge of moving to San Francisco. Can true love triumph over geographic obstacles? The pundits say Going the Distance benefits greatly from the charm of Barrymore and Long, but it's bogged down by raunchy dialogue and pop-culture references that undercuts the basic sweetness of the story. (Check out this week's Total Recall, in which we run down Barrymore's best-reviewed movies.)


66%
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Fresh

The American

For good or ill, The American is certainly not your typical tale of international intrigue. Critics say you shouldn't go into this tale of a lone-wolf contract killer expecting a slam-bang action-fest -- it's a minimalist, existential spy picture, at once beautifully shot and emotionally remote. George Clooney stars as a skilled assassin who sequesters himself in the Italian countryside; soon he's sharing friendship with a local priest - and romance with a mysterious woman. But do such entanglements violate the assassin's code? The pundits say that while The American is sophisticated and well-acted, it's also likely to divide audiences: some will find its languid pace to be tense and hypnotic, while others may be bored stiff.


Also opening this week in limited release:

  • Last Train Home, a documentary on the plight of the nearly 130 million migrant workers in China, is at 100 percent.
  • Our Beloved Month of August, a mix of documentary and narrative filmmaking that finds a director shooting footage at music festivals while attempting to make feature film, is at 100 percent.
  • Prince of Broadway, which follows the trials and tribulations of two men trying to hustle a living in New York City's wholesale fashion district, is at 100 percent.
  • My Dog Tulip, an animated film that chronicles the 14-year relationship between a man and his dog, is at 91 percent.
  • Mesrine: Public Enemy #1, the second installment of a two-part biopic of the legendary French criminal, is Certified Fresh at 81 percent.
  • Max Manus, a biopic about a Norwegian World War II resistance fighter, is at 72 percent.
  • White Wedding, a comedy about the misadventures of a groom attempting to get to his wedding on time, is at 50 percent.
  • The Winning Season, starring Sam Rockwell and Emma Roberts in the tale of a down-on-his luck guy who becomes a girls' high school basketball coach, is at 50 percent.
  • Zhang Yimou's A Woman, a Gun, and a Noodle Shop, a remake of the Coens' Blood Simple set in China, is at 36 percent.

Comments

waggaga1

noel noel

I've been waiting a long time to see Machete. About time! ;D

Sep 2 - 04:13 PM

K

KateBeckinsaleLover Clarke

I'm checking out Going the Distance tomorrow, I think it looks pretty funny. And then I'll go see Machete on Saturday. That looks like it'll be a lot of fun to watch. And as for The American? It's definitely not for everyone with its rather slow pace, but I quite enjoyed it.

Sep 2 - 04:24 PM

Alex Yang

Alex Yang

You enjoy every movie...

Sep 2 - 06:46 PM

K

KateBeckinsaleLover Clarke

Actually I don't. There are lots of movies that I like and lots of movies that I don't like. It's all a matter of opinion when it comes to what a person enjoys. Sure, I enjoy more movies than most do, but that's who I am and I like it that way. It's as simple as that.

Sep 2 - 08:43 PM

Alex Yang

Alex Yang

I'm going to check out the Machete.But after this article,I think I'd better see some other .

Sep 2 - 06:49 PM

The Avatar Avenger

Avatar Avenging Angel

if you don't like Machete yer a racist, simple as that.
Who'd want to watch a george clooney movie, him just mugging at the camera like the smarmy smug blowhard he is. It's aggravating

Sep 2 - 04:28 PM

Murdoch

Murdoch +

Does anyone else think that this is really The Captain of Team Loyalty?

Reasons to support my thesis:
- Referring to himself as "The"
- Obsession with Avengers
- The fact that this id was made only last month

Sep 2 - 05:28 PM

The Avatar Avenger

Avatar Avenging Angel

I'm not that punk captain of team loyalty. That guy doesn't have the cojones to spit the truth like I do, that fellas just a troll whereas I'm an avant garde intellectual waitin fer the rest of you to catch up.
@cory b. You just can't handle someone wit a different opinion, which is sad in this time and in this country, which is america

Sep 2 - 07:40 PM

Cory

Cory B

Thank you for clarifying that this is indeed America, you towering intellectual giant. I was starting to forget.

Sep 2 - 08:15 PM

King Kubrick

Travis Earl

@ Avatar avenger, I remember my first beer.

The only avant garde thing about you is the comedy routine you seem to be testing on this site.

Well for the people who like to discuss movies; I've been fairly stoked on Machete since its faux trailer in Grindhouse. Now there was a film, far and away one of the most enjoyable movie going experiences I ever had. I rarely have seen a crowd so engaged with what was on the screen, and if Machete can capture a fraction of that magic then it's earned my ticket.

The one thing me and Avenging Jackassery agree on is that the American does not look enticing at all, which might have to do with my aversion to anything clooney, but that's my own predujice, you might have a different predilection.

Sep 2 - 10:07 PM

Murdoch

Murdoch +

Alright, Avatar, I believe you.....although it is interesting that someone who joined RT just recently would know exactly who Captain of Team Loyalty is.....especially since he hasn't used that name in over a year (having replaced it with Magic is Might and then Cutler to the rescue and then Captain of Team Cutler and whatever else you're going to think of next

Sep 2 - 10:12 PM

dj Mark

Mark Marquis

Avatar Avenger is not Cutler. Avatar Avenger does not live in America. Avatar Avenger is poking fun at Avatar-lovers, Capitalists, and Political Correctness. Avatar Avenger is having way too much fun.

Sep 3 - 01:53 PM

BLaCKWoLF

BLaCKWoLF .

@ DJ Mark, dont forget that having Cutler around was actually kind of cool (in a weird, twisted way).

Sep 5 - 04:04 AM

Cory

Cory B

If you don't disagree with everything this guy says, "yer" an idiot, simple as that. Who'd want to read his posts, it's him just spewing forth stupidity from his keyboard like the trolly trollish troll he is. It's kind of amusing, but still pointless.

Sep 2 - 07:22 PM

EllenPageIsMyArchitect.

Joshua Medicoff

You talking about that Avenging Avatar guy? He really is a troll.

Sep 2 - 07:43 PM

KJ Cassidy

kurt cassidy

Troll!!!!!

Sep 3 - 05:39 AM

BennyJet

T D

MACHETE (attention morons who will go to see it) is a porn flick that uses bloody violence in lieu of sex scenes. Any "plot" you may detect is pure coincidence and there only to support more violence. And the day I don't have to remove my belt and shoes at the airport, is the day I might...consider amnesty for ILLEGAL aliens...until then, the focus is on the word ILLEGAL...catch 'em and throw 'em back to Mexico. Get a clue Rodriguez.

Sep 3 - 02:07 PM

The Avatar Avenger

Avatar Avenging Angel

even I think you've gone to far with this statement

Sep 3 - 02:10 PM

doomzdavo

Doomz Davo

haha... so i guess you were really that guy they were talkin about earlier. you know the "troll" with multiple screennames... hmmm if all those guys remember so much,, i wonder if they remember some of my comments cuz if they do,, hey that means something,, i mean that dont really have s*** to do with you but hey, you learn somethin everyday dont we multiple alias guy

Sep 4 - 11:32 PM

sunsaz

Chris Moore

I usually only use the "report abuse" button for the spam adds, but I'm extremely tempted to make an exception in this case.

Sep 4 - 05:12 PM

Nine Oh Two

Nine Oh Two .

It's funny, because you could say the same thing about the expendables, and I'm sure you ate that shit up. The only difference here is the exploitation angle which you are giving far too much weight to. Check out any blackploitation movie from the 70s and you will find a similar tone. From what I've heard, this movie is actually better than the expendables, but I plan on seeing neither.

Sep 6 - 06:28 AM

ScytheofAzrael

Omar Siddiqui

I'm actually going to check out the American.
Slow or not.

Sep 2 - 04:32 PM

Alexson Philip

Alexson Philipiah

well now thanks to Machete, Jessica Alba finally has 2 fresh movies.

Sep 2 - 05:08 PM

August M.

Agustin Macias

Your right. Will go see Machete.

Sep 2 - 05:27 PM

EllenPageIsMyArchitect.

Joshua Medicoff

I'm interested in all three; however, I will probably either see only Machete or Going The Distance. Kind of a 'meh' for the American.

Sep 2 - 05:14 PM

EllenPageIsMyArchitect.

Joshua Medicoff

Oops, I mean I'm interested in *two*.

Sep 2 - 05:15 PM

August M.

Agustin Macias

Your right. Will go see Machete.

Sep 2 - 05:27 PM

Murdoch

Murdoch +

Does anyone else think that this is really The Captain of Team Loyalty?

Reasons to support my thesis:
- Referring to himself as "The"
- Obsession with Avengers
- The fact that this id was made only last month

Sep 2 - 05:28 PM

The Avatar Avenger

Avatar Avenging Angel

I'm not that punk captain of team loyalty. That guy doesn't have the cojones to spit the truth like I do, that fellas just a troll whereas I'm an avant garde intellectual waitin fer the rest of you to catch up.
@cory b. You just can't handle someone wit a different opinion, which is sad in this time and in this country, which is america

Sep 2 - 07:40 PM

Cory

Cory B

Thank you for clarifying that this is indeed America, you towering intellectual giant. I was starting to forget.

Sep 2 - 08:15 PM

King Kubrick

Travis Earl

@ Avatar avenger, I remember my first beer.

The only avant garde thing about you is the comedy routine you seem to be testing on this site.

Well for the people who like to discuss movies; I've been fairly stoked on Machete since its faux trailer in Grindhouse. Now there was a film, far and away one of the most enjoyable movie going experiences I ever had. I rarely have seen a crowd so engaged with what was on the screen, and if Machete can capture a fraction of that magic then it's earned my ticket.

The one thing me and Avenging Jackassery agree on is that the American does not look enticing at all, which might have to do with my aversion to anything clooney, but that's my own predujice, you might have a different predilection.

Sep 2 - 10:07 PM

Murdoch

Murdoch +

Alright, Avatar, I believe you.....although it is interesting that someone who joined RT just recently would know exactly who Captain of Team Loyalty is.....especially since he hasn't used that name in over a year (having replaced it with Magic is Might and then Cutler to the rescue and then Captain of Team Cutler and whatever else you're going to think of next

Sep 2 - 10:12 PM

dj Mark

Mark Marquis

Avatar Avenger is not Cutler. Avatar Avenger does not live in America. Avatar Avenger is poking fun at Avatar-lovers, Capitalists, and Political Correctness. Avatar Avenger is having way too much fun.

Sep 3 - 01:53 PM

BLaCKWoLF

BLaCKWoLF .

@ DJ Mark, dont forget that having Cutler around was actually kind of cool (in a weird, twisted way).

Sep 5 - 04:04 AM

Easter In The Batcave

Alex Sallas

I get the feeling that, with time, The American will become more well-regarded. Definitely wanna see that and Machete.

Sep 2 - 05:40 PM

RamALamADingDong

That Guy

Eh. Nothing much I'm interested in till Wall Street 2. I may see Machete based on the response it gets this weekend. Otherwise I'll probably just wait till Netflix gets it.

Sep 2 - 05:43 PM

Throw An Onion

Crornk Kaleidescope

Machete looks dreadfully stupid. Grindhouse my foot, Machete is about politics. The American just looks like a oscar bait version of Eat Pray Love. I'll pass on all this weekend.

Sep 2 - 06:02 PM

The Avatar Avenger

Avatar Avenging Angel

Damn right bro, its just putting forth its immigrant agenda, if you're not born in america than tuff.
People are always hatin on arizona for letting them spot check people who don't look properly american, I say why stop there, if someone wears their hair too long we should be able to stop them too, if someone is readin somethin i dont agree wit i should be able to check em too, if they look like a democratic then we should check there papers to keep em aay from real americans

Sep 2 - 07:51 PM

Throw An Onion

Crornk Kaleidescope

Do not associate me with you Avenger. I'm not looking to pick a fight over politics with anyone on this site. I was just pointing out how Rodriguez is trying to disguise Machete as a goofy, fun, grindhouse flick when in actuality he's using it as a platform to send a political message. The critics obviously agree with his position so they're helping to reinforce his charade. I didn't say anything about the politics I just pointed out that they were there.

Sep 2 - 08:22 PM

The Avatar Avenger

Avatar Avenging Angel

I've had enough of the persecution on the website. You people clinging to yer spammy dysfunctional website that will probably go bankrupt in anudder month make me laugh. I leavin here fer good.

Sep 3 - 12:04 AM

The.Watcher

The Watcher

Is that a promise? Do you promise to go away?
Please, please go away, there's enough spam on this site as is, we really don't need a troll in the mix.

Sep 3 - 12:22 AM

Throw An Onion

Crornk Kaleidescope

You brought all of it on yourself.

Sep 3 - 12:31 PM

dj Mark

Mark Marquis

Or you'll just go back to using your "normal" profile again... whoever you are you mad silly trollish genius.

Sep 3 - 01:56 PM

Alex Yang

Alex Yang

You enjoy every movie...

Sep 2 - 06:46 PM

K

KateBeckinsaleLover Clarke

Actually I don't. There are lots of movies that I like and lots of movies that I don't like. It's all a matter of opinion when it comes to what a person enjoys. Sure, I enjoy more movies than most do, but that's who I am and I like it that way. It's as simple as that.

Sep 2 - 08:43 PM

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