The Barbarians (1987)

Twin orphan brothers, Kutchek and Gore (Peter and David Paul), who are adopted by a tribe led by Queen Canary (Virginia Bryant), are kidnapped as children and forced into slavery after the caravan they are travelling in is ambushed by Lord Kadar (Richard Lynch) and his men. Kadar is in search of a rare ruby in which Queen Canary possesses, something she is not going to give up easily. In the midst of their ambush, she sends the ruby away with one of her tribesmen and succumbs to Kadar's wishes if only he would spare the lives of the two orphan brothers. He agrees and puts the brothers in his prison to be trained for future battle on themselves. Over the years, Kutchek and Gore grow to enormous proportions and are pitted against eachother with only a mask to shield them. They soon discover who they are and escape, finding their people, a mysterious young woman in Cara (Eva La Rue) and eventually reaching Canary, who is locked up in Kadar's harem. Okay, so the plot is a jumbled mess, but the film was highly entertaining. Peter and David Paul starred in a string of low-budget titles, each with it's fair share of horrible acting and idiotic dialogue. But, you know what? It works for the two and The Barbarians gives us some zany scenes, equipped with fantasy-based monsters and exotic nude women. The majority of the film has the brothers arguing amongst eachother which pretty much is it's main comedic element. Michael Berryman also throws in some comedic chops as the Dirtmaster, the one who trains Kutcheck and Gore while they were imprisoned in Kadar's lair. His run-in with the dragon, which appears in one of the scenes, had me laughing long after the credits were rolling up the screen. But, what really stands out in this film for me was the soundtrack; a mixture of bad eighties German keyboard pop with some mighty trumpets. Yes, it was bad, but that damn arrangement had me so into the film even more. The Barbarians is some good campy fun.