Weekly Ketchup: Len Wiseman Will Direct the Mummy Reboot

Paul Roman

I love me some Nic Cage

Sep 28 - 05:25 PM

Robbie Jordan

If it's not Space Ass then I'm not interested.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eExfV_xKaiM

Oct 5 - 06:12 AM

The Watcher

01 - Ladies & Gents: Len Wiseman, the obligatory remake helmer. Man, must it suck being pigeonholed into doing one type of thing. A thankless job, to be sure, and one that has no winners.

02 - With the exception of the Indy trilogy (yes, trilogy. Fuck you, Chrystal Skull) and Jaws, none of Spielberg's work strikes a chord with me. I find his movies incredibly obvious in its emotional manipulation; you can practically see the strings being pulled on your heart, and my natural reaction is to raise two middle fingers and refuse to allow myself to be duped by such clumsy emotional appeals. I'm not interested in this movie, is what I'm trying to say. Since it's Spielberg, I felt like I needed to explain myself a little here.

03 - Meh. More sappy crap.

04 - This might be interesting, if filmed correctly. I've been quite satisfied with Jones as director, especially Three Burials..., which I found to be great. Definitely will be better than watching him suffer through another MiB. It's like Orson Welles appearing in Casino Royale, so pitying as to be physically painful to endure. Keeping my eye on this one.

05 - Awesome. Bane is good. More Bain is better. But seriously, the story is intriguing as well. Hopefully they'll show him actually climbing the mountain armed with all the newest technology circa-1920s.

06 - I still think this is a stupid fucking idea.

07 - Hmm... his style is generally not very PG-friendly. I still urge everyone to read Wanted, as it's nothing like the piece of shit Timyr squatted out. Oh, Timyr.. you Russian embarrassment, you.

08 - Timberlake in new romantic dra- *already don't care.* NEXT! (and no, I'm not referring to that Nicolas Cage-starring abortion.)

09 - Has Kinsley ever turned down a role? Well, regardless, it can't be much worse than the PoP "character" he had to play. As for the movie- don't really care about it. Religion can just roll over and die already, as far as I'm concerned.

10 - Wow, that premise took a turn for the terrible pretty fast, dinnit? Started out ok, a cool little drama by a once-promising director (still can't believe he didn't show us Buffy's goods when she was PLAYING A PORNSTAR!!) about a lawyer taking on a MR exec who...... oh. That's fucking stupid.

Seriously, she was playing a pornstar, and didn't even flash a tit. Fuck you, Richard Kelly. Darko DC sucked.

Sep 28 - 05:34 PM

King Simba

Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan, Minority Report, Catch Me If You Can, Jurassic Park, Close Encounter's of the Third Kind, none of that was to your fancy?

Sep 29 - 05:36 AM

Captain Terror

I'm with Watcher on this one. Even the Spielberg movies I like usually find some way to bug me, some more than others. Although to Watcher's list I would've added Spielberg's crowning moment "Duel". (only half-kidding there. Love that movie)

Sep 29 - 06:39 AM

Joshua Henderson

Duel is good too.

Sep 29 - 08:03 AM

Joshua Henderson

Yep. All of these are awesome. :)

Sep 29 - 08:01 AM

The Watcher

Schindler's List is probably his most egregiously manipulative work to date. SPR fetishizes war like it's some CoD videogame, I hated Minority Report (don't really know why. By all accounts, it's good, but I can't stand it,) JP had a good premise, but the clever raptors opening doors and hunting for the kids ruined the entire thing (ugh, especially hate the kids in Spielberg's movies,) Close Enc. is annoying in its moral messaging, and Catch Me, while interesting, was kinda lifeless. It's still probably one of the best he made simply cos there's not as much sentimentality in it.

Sep 29 - 10:45 AM

Janson Jinnistan

What's the moral message of "Close Encounters"? Obviously, Spielberg's hypersentimentality is too well known to argue over, and I'm a "Jaws", "Raiders" man myself, but I honestly don't find "CE3K" to be very heavy handed at all.

Sep 30 - 07:50 PM

Brad Hadfield

The guy chooses to be with aliens over his wife and young son. What's the moral messaging there?

Oct 1 - 09:39 AM

Gordon Terry

THE WATCHER ISN'T AMERICAN and therefore abdicates "American Culture (esp. Spielberg movies)" . . . before the dark and gloomy 1990s American film was filled with sentimentality and optimism. Close Encounters of the Third Kind (Columbia, 1980 reissue), ET-The Extraterrestrial (Universal, 1982), Raiders of the Lost Ark (Paramount, 1981), Empire Strikes Back (20th Century Fox, 1980), Return of the Jedi (FOX, 1983), Poltergeist (MGM, 1982) each featured underlying themes of governmental paranoia and inhuman greed of big business offset by optimistically supernatural themes -- Raiders of the Lost Ark is supernatural in the sense that "God" is in the titular Ark containing The Ten Commandments and at the end the ghost pops-out and literally melts all the government NAZI agents; in Poltergeist the Big Business Developer (James Karen) moves all the tombstones and not the bodies in the graves causing ghosts to "pop-out" and wreak havoc.// THE WATCHER who was not born in America and is not American cannot see nor value (nor appreciate) the aforementioned themes and therefore condemns the aforementioned films --- mayge, THE WATCHER likes Star Wars- Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi (films that condemn the Big Government ["anthropomorphized" as The Empire) . . . The Supernatural "THE FORCE" triumphs in all the Star Wars movies./// maybe you have to be American to appreciate The Supernatural . . even E.T. utilized supernatural means to return to life . . . THE WATCHER HATES E.T. - The Extra Terrestrial. BE SURE TO VOTE DEMOCRATIC on ELECTION DAY, TUESDAY NOVEMBER 6th 2012 . . . Republicans are like the evil Nazis in Raiders of the Lost Ark, Republicans are brutal, inhumane people who love to horde money and kill the dreams of under-privileged American people.

Sep 29 - 10:48 AM

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Gordon Terry

Printed twice . . . DARN IT!

Sep 29 - 10:49 AM

The Watcher

Fucking hell, Gordon, you're INSANE!! Hahaha, I love it!

Sep 29 - 03:24 PM

Val Mordas

You misspelled hoard, rebel scum.

Sep 29 - 08:12 PM

Andrew Wilcutt

Everyone always forgets Munich. A classic in my mind.

Sep 29 - 10:35 PM

Janson Jinnistan

Well intentioned, but flawed.

Sep 30 - 07:53 PM

Alberto Zeeky

Well really if you've read some of the trash Watcher throws around here you'd notice that it borders a line of ignorant douche like Gordon Terry here borders between paranoid troll.

Some people simply enjoy being that person that stands out in the crowd that goes against the typical ways to garner more attention... although it could be a foreigner thing as well, but all in all... don't be so shocked.

Sep 30 - 08:46 PM

The Watcher

Yes. I have a different opinion than you so I MUST be just trolling. Or, I just, you know, have a different opinion than you and am not afraid to share it. Idiot.

Oct 1 - 07:26 AM

Alberto Zeeky

I'd take a double look there genius, I referred to Terry as the paranoid troll, not you.

Oct 1 - 03:07 PM

The Watcher

"Well really if you've read some of the trash Watcher throws around here you'd notice that it borders a line of ignorant douche"

That WASN'T directed at me? Like I said: idiot.

Oct 1 - 08:54 PM

Caleb Manasco

02 is Stephen Frears, not Stephen Spielberg.

Sep 29 - 10:31 PM

The Watcher

No, you're mistaken. My TOP STORY is #1, and it's not numbered in RT's Ketchup, so RT's #1 is then my #2, and so on. The Frears story is my #3.

Sep 30 - 12:00 PM

George Patchell

I generally like Speilberg but I have to agree with you to a certain extent; he's often over-hyped and I do fell a little manipulated, and the films can feel a little by the numbers but he can generally be relied on and usually mixes it up between films. Minority report was good despite the massive plot hole at the end SORT OF SPOILERS BUT NOT REALLY: there would have been another ball! Anyway as Simba noted he has made a lot of good/great/fantastic films too so I'd say I like him more than dislike him. Still don't know whose seen the trailer for Lincoln but I was so excited to see it and thought the film had such promise what with Daniel Day-Lewis and such rich source material and then I saw the trailer and it looks terrible. The trailer looks so over the top and sappy and, as you say Watcher, manipulative. I hope this is the reverse of most trailers and this one is showing all the worst bits, but something tells me this will be a major mis-fire. It's a Shame.

Oct 2 - 08:34 AM

Jamie Eldredge

There was no second ball because the precogs weren't assembled. He says that, that is why he can also kill the FBI agent in which he explains as well.

Oct 2 - 01:31 PM

George Patchell

When he makes the murder look like a murder from years earlier they think its an echo and erase it but there should still be a ball. And if the precogs weren't assembled why would he need to make it look like an echo?

Oct 5 - 09:47 AM

Tallulah Robinson

I haven't seen any of his other apparently great movies, I'll get around to that, but I'm pretty sure I'm with you about Spielberg. When I watched War Horse I wanted to punch someone in the face. When I found it was nommed for best effing picture I was actually speechless with how awful it all was.

Oct 3 - 10:11 AM

Janson Jinnistan

I honestly don't understand how a Richard Kelly project, even one as crazy as the Lawrence Horn story, can be considered more rotten than any project Ok'd for Len Wiseman, much less a franchise handed over to the man who produced one of this summer's most tepid releases. Nicolas Cage is better than even an alcoholic Timberlake, I'm sure of it. However, I am interested in a new Tommy Lee Jones directoral effort.

Sep 28 - 05:45 PM

Anthony Stokes

Sir you did see where they said the Len project would otherwise be negative.. and Richard Kelly only has 1 movie that's positive and 2 or 3 that are negative

Sep 28 - 07:52 PM

Janson Jinnistan

I mean that I don't see how "Amicus" is any more rotten than a number of these stories. Kelly is a very interesting director to me, "Southland Tales" is a trainwreck, but hardly a boring one, and "The Box" is a pretty faithful adaptation of the Richard Matheson story. "Amicus" is a semi-legendary story, similar to Phil Spector. Lawrence Horn was chief engineer at Motown during the mid-60s when the Motown sound became a defined force on the radio. This otherwise audio genius then turned to having his family murdered. If only Nicolas Cage can bring justice!

Sep 30 - 08:00 PM

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David E-Brock

This is a movie site. Please STFU about politics. If you really think one party is evil and the other party is good than you are a fool. All politicians are criminal looking out for only their own interests. Fuck republicans AND democrats. You wanna talk politics talk about political movies. Save it for your damn facebook page.

Sep 29 - 12:08 PM

Val Mordas

Right on!

Sep 29 - 11:22 PM

Janson Jinnistan

Can we all just wait until the debates? I have faith that these will end any notion that Obama needs the help of anyone on any comment section on any corner of the internet. Relax. Barry's got this, folks.

Sep 30 - 08:03 PM

Tom Carter

As far as the "female Expendables" thing, here are who Entertainment Weekly thinks should join Carano: Rooney Mara, Sharon Stone, Michelle Rodriguez, Linda Hamilton, Milla Jovovich, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Angelina Jolie, Sigourney Weaver. Also good candidates: Uma Thurman, Carrie-Ann Moss, Zoe Saldana, Malin Akerman, Kate Beckinsale, Scarlett Johansson. Any other ideas?

Sep 28 - 09:04 PM

Danny Tiede

How about that Starla chick from Napoleon Dynamite?

Sep 29 - 12:14 AM

Lance Reeder

Daryl Hannah, She has the Kill Bill's AND Blade Runner. I'd put those two up against anything short of Weaver and Hamilton in the action genre.

Sep 30 - 02:43 AM

Janson Jinnistan

Betty White

Sep 30 - 08:04 PM

Jordan Cheryba

no pam grier?

Oct 1 - 05:51 PM

Myron Kinsey

Uh no, a new Nic Cage is not rotten if anything it should be the fresh development, I'd rather watch a crappy Nic Cage film then a shitty Mummy remake as if we need another one of those.

Sep 29 - 12:41 AM

Lance Reeder

Call me crazy, but I'd rather watch The Scorpion King than Season of the Witch. Cage has his great movie's, but since his tax troubles he's been decidedly more bad than good.

Sep 30 - 02:45 AM

Janson Jinnistan

I concur. Better yet, where's Nicolas Cage's The Mummy?

Sep 30 - 08:07 PM

King Simba

So after delivering one of the the biggest flops of the year with Total Recall Len Wiseman is given the reigns to another big budget remake? I don't get movie studios sometimes. Anyway, this is yet another reason for me to be uninterested in a new Mummy movie. Len Wiseman only has one good movie on his resume (Die Hard 4) and that was from a franchise that seems almost immune to bad directors (Heck, even Renny Harlin managed to deliver a good Die Hard flick). Also, I'm not sure I see the need to make everything dark and gritty these days. Didn't Avengers prove that you can make a film lighthearted and fun and still rake in tons of dough? Also, while I know it gets a bad reputation I thought the Stephen Sommers remake was a pretty entertaining flick, so I don't really see the need for another remake.

Curious about Spy Hunter. I loved Zombieland (my favorite zombie horror/comedie, yes I perfer it slightly to Shaun of the Dead) though I haven't heard very many good things about Thirty Minutes or Less. Then again, the premises never really seemed like one that would offer much potential for comedy. Maybe he director can bounce back with Spy hunter, though my hopes aren't too high given the track record of video game adaptations. Not sure about Lore, as Barry Sonnenfield is a very hit and miss director.

I actually bought the novel Robopocalypse just because I heard Steven Spielberg was making a movie about it, though I still haven't read it, so i can't talk about its quality. The premises doesnt seem very original but hey if it's a Steven Spielberg film then count me on board, especially given how he compared it to Minority Report, which was one of my favorite science fiction film of the past decade.

Didn't Nolan state something along the lines of that after Man of Steel he's done with comic book adaptations and that he wonthave avythi incolvement in the upcoming Justice League? So while I'm sure Warner Bros would love to have him manning the upcomming DC adaptations it doesn't look like it's going to happen. As for Mark Millar manning Marvel at fox, personally I'd rather see the keys given to a director. What worked for comics doesn't always work for movies.

Just curious how did the Mary Mother of Christ get labelled fresh? Shouldn't it being from the direcot of Sanctum automatically make it rotten?

Sep 29 - 06:13 AM

Daniel Irwin

Between you and me, I think remakes just have to go away.

Sep 29 - 08:03 AM

Javier Barthe

I dont think they'll ever go away but they DEFINTELY have to tone them down.

Sep 30 - 01:37 AM

Gordon Terry

TOTAL RECALL looks to be unforgivably bad and what could be worse than Steve Sommers' The Mummy (actually people enjoyed The Mummy) . . . nothing could be worse than Steve Sommers' VAN HELSING (I HATE that movie, period). looking forward to SPY HUNTER (the Gamecube and XBOX games are AWESOME . . . Peter Gun Theme playing throughout the Colecovision version is awesome)//// THe PASSION OF THE CHRIST pre-quel seems exciting.

Sep 29 - 10:54 AM

Val Mordas

Van Helsing was so cheesy I couldn't enjoy it, just painful to watch. I must have rolled my eyes 100 times. To sum it up, a kid and his dad were leaving the theater with me after watching the movie and the dad says "Hey that was great wasn't it?" and the kid gives him this look like 'WTF were you watching?".

Sep 29 - 08:19 PM

Sean Thompsons

Hey hey hey, lay off Nicholas Cage. Bad Lieutenant, National Treasure, Adaptation, Lord of War, Con Air. So he doesn't make great movies all the time, he's always great in them! Who can forget "Not the bees, not the bees!" even if they haven't seen the movie?

Sep 30 - 12:36 AM

Lance Reeder

Wicker Man, Season of the Witch? He was great in those? I didn't want to list all the bad ones. I find with the exception of Leaving Las Vegas, Port of Call and Kick-Ass I generally like movie's in spite of Nic Cage rather than because of him. Oh yeah and he was good in Face Off. Even the stoutest Cage defender can't say he has subjected us to an enviable amount of crap over the last 10 years to pay off his tax debt and keep himself in funeral obelisk's.

Sep 30 - 02:50 AM

Janson Jinnistan

Raising Arizona, Birdy, Vampire's Kiss, Wild At Heart, Red Rocks West, Kiss of Death. He was even GREAT!!! in Peggy Sue Got Married (you mean...my waaaang?) and Moonstruck even though those were undeserving of his talents. Sure he's in a bunch of crap. Man eats, a lot. Especially tabasco scenery. As far as I'm concerned, Adaptation gave him a down payment on cred for the entirety of the prior decade. His Matchstick Men extention is about to expire. He's due.

Sep 30 - 08:15 PM

Javier Barthe

Stephen Sommers may be an unbelievably cheesy director but i swear his Mummy films (Part I & II, not the crappy third one)were so much goddamn fun, it had so many great moments of comedy, action and peril. Despite having some phenomenal CGI Van Helsing failed because there wasnt one actor in that film who could carry a dramatic scene, Richard Roxburgh was a prime example of how stage acting doesnt always translate well to the screen. Let's not even mention GI Joe which had me questioning where the $150 million budget went because EVERYTHING about that film was bad including the CGI.

Sep 30 - 01:36 AM

Frisby 2007

Nothing interesting this week.

Sep 30 - 01:47 AM

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Frisby 2007

Yeah, just look at how the remakes to already-bad movies like Prom Night & When I stranger Calls ended up.

Sep 30 - 08:27 PM

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Frisby 2007

Never saw the original Dredd, so I can't comment on that.

Oct 3 - 11:42 PM

Daniel Davis

Carano's role in Haywire wasn't actually a breakout performance since that film did poorly at the box office.

Besides that's the only action film. She can't even call herself an action heroine yet.

So why is she the first in line for a female Expendables movie? This makes no sense.

Sep 30 - 03:00 PM