Watching this movie is like watching your uncle resurface his driveway. I have looked satan in the face and his name is Jag Mundhra! If I could bestow it, I would adorn his chestular area with the "Luddite of the year" award. This movie is a complete failure.Why was that surprising? That's easy. It's about a
killer who chooses open houses as his moment to dispense lethal force on the unsuspecting women of the real estate business. IT SHOULD BE FANTASTIC! The plot was only thing that drew me to this movie in the first place. Now I see why NOBODY likes this movie. Where did they go wrong? Everywhere. First of all this is probably one of the most poorly executed scripts I've ever seen. You could tell that on paper this looked great. I'm sure the original script had funny moments, lots of dead real estate agents, and the compelling mystery of the killer's identity. However the only thing that made it to the finished product was about 4 minutes of lame murders. What about the other 91 minutes!?!Ungh. I was going to give this movie 1 star before I saw the alternate box art that gives away the best part of the movie. The best part is when the homeless killer turns a plunger handle into a mace by adding razor blades. But he only uses it one time and it takes up less than a minute of actual screen time.Adrienne Barbeau, where do I begin? I found your performance to be particularly lacking. When I wasn't bored out of my mind I was preoccupied with maintaining sufficient control over my gag reflex. Words cannot even begin to vaguely approximate the level of revulsion I felt while watching you "hit it off" with Joeseph Bottoms. I will never forgive you for this for as long as I live. Hell, it's not like we were friends anyway.What is the worst part about this movie? That's a tough one actually. Let me tell you about both of the things I can think of and I'll let you decide. 1. Earlier in the day I went on serious rant about horror movies that use the extremely tired "we traced the call and the killer is in the house with you" cliché. What an awful plot device. In this movie it is used as nothing more than a gimmick to abduct Adrienne Barbeau. Needless to say I was outraged at their complete lack of creativity.2. The killer is simply a homeless person who moves from one empty house to another. When a real estate agent tried to sell his house he killed her. His explanation for what motivated him to continue killing people was "It's hard to stop something once you've started." THAT'S THE BEST YOU COULD DO?NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU WATCH THIS! If you want to know what happens look at the picture above. If you've seen that, you're not missing anything. Bleh, just talking about this movie makes me sick.
May 20, 2010
