A forgettable made-for-TV-like production.
| Original Score: 1/5
The movie always seems to be out of sync with itself.
| Original Score: D+
My first reaction to The Crew was: 'Thank goodness it was only 88 minutes.'
| Original Score: 1.5/4
Once the story clicks into gear, The Crew is a lot of fun. But that doesn't happen until after the midpoint.
| Original Score: 2.5/4
... the worst of American popular culture; it is a lazy, condescending, formulaic film that the filmmakers didn't even bother to finish
| Original Score: D-
Yeah, nothing funnier than old men farting and Viagra jokes.
Most of the jokes work well but too many of them have the ritual, predictable feel of sitcom humor.
This is pure sitcom, the characters are all clichés, and if it wasn't for the situation there'd be no jokes at all.
Bereft of funny lines or even vaguely plausible plot twists.
The Crew pumps 'zany' nonsense until it drools and wheezes.
As toothless as the denture-wearing astronaut in Space Cowboys.
The movie is so mild, so benign, its humiliation-to-vindication arc so predictable and its old-folks jokes so feeble that you want them to start shooting the remake immediately.
Tired, listless and anemic.
The Crew may think it's hitting a Soprano high note but in reality it's just sleeping with the fishes.
Every time it delivers a clever line or appears on the verge of coming up with an original idea, a tide of cliches washes The Crew back out to sea.
Basically a TV movie-of-the-week that's been dressed up with big names.
The Crew ends up feeling like soft-boiled Elmore Leonard (actually, runny Elmore Leonard) as the story goes from kicky to kicked-in-the-head.
Some movies (The Tao of Steve, say) are like Pepto for your summer blockbuster heartburn. This one is like a half-pound Macho Loco burrito. With fire salsa and extra onions.
For all its violent gestures, this one screams safety, safety, safety, never taking anything like a real chance, never going anywhere unruly or unpredictable in its dogged allegiance to blandness.
Stuck in a dry old tributary without a paddle.