Mystery of the Nile Reviews
August 5, 2011
Don't be mislead. This isn't a documentary about any kind of mystery. It neither explores the mysterious history nor the present day mysteries of the Nile. It instead follows an American yokel and a group of inexperienced kayakers as they travel the nile from Ethiopia to the Mediteranean. The sappy narration weeps personal triumphs and touristy descriptions in what should have been a very serious and thoughtful journey. It features all the usual racist American stand-by's too, like whistful celebrations of Christian achievements along the Nile, while the Sudan is described as a place "veiled under the cloak of Islam." Everywhere they go, what should be written on the T-Shirt of every American tourist, "don't mind us... we're just here to ruin everything" seems blared out in the awkward silences spent trying to figure out how many cheeseburgers you could buy with the money some people make in a year.
It's a celebration of seven people, not of the Nile. It barely explores the river itself for that matter, preferring to skip 70 days along the journey to take you to a scene of a nifty camel ride they took to see the Christian ruins. And it's not a mystery... unless of course the mystery is: why the hell were THESE the people chosen to navigate the Nile from source to delta??
My favorite part, and I'm paraphrasing: "A wise river-boat captain told us we'd never cross _ Lake. So two of us decided to separate from our group on that lake and try to cross it at night. We nearly died! Feel Sorry for us! I have Malaria now!" Hmmm... maybe respecting the advice of these "Mosloms" might be a good thing on this trip. But I guess you have a GPS and a nice chunk of funding to keep you insulated, you dumb, hippie-bred, feel-good, milk-and-cookies-and-a-snuggle-with-the-teddy-bear fool. I hope you each came home and all died of plague.
December 3, 2009
Absolutely breathtaking, especially airplane shots, these were the first people in history to do this and with a limited crew this movie deserves ALOT more than 67% or 60%, great film