Weekly Ketchup: Despicable Me's Minions Get Their Own Movie

Zachary moss

Wow, a Minion movie...ugh, a hour and thirty minutes of punching and tater-tots.

Jul 27 - 04:54 PM

Kyle Patterson

When I read that, I lol'd

Jul 27 - 08:02 PM

Gordon Terry

again . . .films are made on conveyor belts (factories) and it feels like screenplays are utilized more as blueprints for an architecturally designed film as opposed to providing an actual storyline for a film. (screenplays today seem to be crafted to timing where there should be exposition and action)

Jul 28 - 07:53 AM

The Watcher

00 - Well, that's good for the 5-year-olds, I guess. Never bothered watching DM, or any cartoon since Up, really. I don't think there's anything more to add to the medium after that masterpiece. No, don't start telling me about everything post-Up, I don't give a shit.

01 - Ok, so here is the REAL top story of this week. Edgar Wright is an awesome, awesome director, and I hold JJ in very high esteem as well, even though some people seem to have a problem with him. I loved Cloverfield, Star Trek and MI3, so it's all good. One question: presumably, Wright's next is World's End, followed by Ant-Man, so is this his project for late-2013?

02 - Yes!!111 Finally, Lassie can be animated! WOO-HOO! Now my life is complete. Fuck off.

03 - The only thing "controversial" about Wikileaks is the US gov't's unacceptable behavior and its treatment of both Assange, who did what journalists are SUPPOSED to do, and Manning, who is an American Hero. But I guess, to some people, facts can be perceived as "evil." That said, I have no inherent interest in a biopic of Assange. He's very much alive and still young enough to have lots of life left in him. Kinda seems a little premature.

04 - Hicks is an awesome comic, but again, kinda pointless project, no? His material stands for itself. There's no real hidden story there apart from maybe the Letterman fiasco, and even then the facts are all widely known.

05 - Well, I guess the ladies want some Sci-Fi, too. Nothing wrong with that.

06 - Yes, great! Do this and leave Blade Runner the hell alone. You fucking up Alien is enough.

07 - Maybe I'm just in a foul mood, but this seems like another one of those projects that seem.. boring. Oh noes, an oil rig ruptured and now there's oil in the water. I know, let's focus on the people aboard the vessel, and not on the media and politicians as they become aware of the accident. I mean, it's a lot more fun to watch oil riggers play cards and wait to be rescued than the struggle between lobbyists and politicians in Washington *sarcasm*.

08 - Yeah, this sounds like a disaster. And why was Wooden Plank in the news? Did someone photograph her smiling, or showing any semblance of human emotion?

09 - Awesome, this sounds about as good as 10000 BC! Fuck this, I'm out.

Jul 27 - 05:26 PM

Gordon Terry

Time and Again sounds intriguing . . . the romantic aspect might soften box office as boys are usually attracted to sci-fi (its like, Hollywood is steadily cranking-out movies on a conveyor-belt and not giving them much thought and ingenuity)///There MUST be a BLADE RUNNER II (because there are a lot of directions the characters introduced in BLADE RUNNER can take) . . . yet, with the UTTERLY ABYSMAL GARBAGE Ridley Scott gave is with Prometheus, I hope Scott sharpens his creative nails with this "interpolating" film.

Jul 27 - 06:36 PM

Gordon Terry

SAGE STALLONE RULES, DUDE!!!!! GRINDHOUSE RELEASING FOREVER!!!!!

Jul 27 - 07:20 PM

Lars Ronin

dude ur awesome!!!

Jul 27 - 09:48 PM

Matt Jordan

It must be nice in your little imaginary world.

Jul 28 - 01:37 PM

The Watcher

Why, are you not from Earth? What's the weather like where you're at?

Jul 28 - 10:49 PM

Val Mordas

"The only thing "controversial" about Wikileaks is the US gov't's unacceptable behavior and its treatment of both Assange, who did what journalists are SUPPOSED to do"..

Uh, no. Journalists are not supposed to publish classified government information. Unless they want to be arrested or killed, that is.

Jul 28 - 09:57 PM

The Watcher

They are when said information contains details on civilian deaths and unauthorized spending. Besides, media isn't the gov't's lapdog, or it's not supposed to be, in any case. If a classified doc gets out, well, too bad.

Jul 28 - 10:48 PM

Val Mordas

So if someone steals all your personal info, including your SSN, DOB, Phone numbers and posts it on the internet... well that's just too bad, right? No, it's called a crime.

Jul 29 - 04:52 AM

The Watcher

It's the media's job to always strive to make its gov't more transparent and accountable to the people who elected it in the first place. When I start seeing things like going after journalists for disclosing a gov't's dark secrets (something that was celebrated not even 30 years ago), I start to get very nervous. There is no better definition of a police state than the total and utter control of information. It's what North Korea does... and last time I checked, USA and NK stood for polar opposite principles.

And your analogy in comparing a gov't body to a person is not only laughably nonsensical, but also stupid. Releasing facts and figures contradicting USA's claim that very little civilian casualties were accrued in the senseless Iraq war is not even on the same planet as releasing someone's SS #. It's bullshit logic like yours (hey, let's equate an organization with a person) that gave rise to Citizen's United.

Jul 29 - 03:46 PM

Val Mordas

"When I start seeing things like going after journalists"

This guy is no journalist, he is a shit starter. He was publishing classified information that could have caused backlash against American troops. Because he rigged up some website you call him a journalist, however if it had been another country involved it would be called espionage. There's nothing wrong with my logic as it pertains to the theft and distribution of private information.

Jul 30 - 08:36 AM

The Watcher

US soldiers pissed on corpses and shot women and children. The US invaded another country with no probable cause - Iraq had nothing to do with 911, and that wasn't a secret - so I believe information like this has to be released in order for the public to know what their gov't is up to.

Assange was the only one willing to release said docs. All the so-called proper journalists pissed themselves and blocked the docs from coming out in US for fear of exposing the gov't for what it is and not getting invited to the next conference speech. It's a sad state of affairs when the news media is either too scared of its own gov't to release harsh truths, or else it's actively interested in keeping said secrets out of the public due to it being owned by the same corporations that spend millions of dollars buying US politics.

Manning released those documents because he saw the lies the media was being fed and had the decency to feel bad about it and try to fix it. The world needs more people like him. Secrecy is never the right way to go about things.

A great analogy would be the movie The Insider with Crowe and Pacino. Watch it and assume Crowe = Assange and his company = US.

Maybe you are naive enough to believe the US gov't has your best interest at heart. I sure as shit am not, and I hope docs like these keep being released until the people have enough and decide to take their country back and wipe all money from politics.

Jul 30 - 04:12 PM

Bigbrother .

Few can match The Watcher for his utter disdain for anything that displease him. Love your Black and White analysis man.

If you were actually interested "Wooden Plank" got caught cheated on Woodener Plank with the 41 year old married director of Snow White and the Huntsman.

BTW, did you see Mars Needs Mom's yet, I hear it's the pinnacle of animation post-UP lol :P

Jul 29 - 03:22 AM

The Watcher

Ah, well, y'know, I figured we could all use some contrast in this gray world we live in. And wow, I assume you're talking about Mr. Sparkle? I refuse to type her name into Google (cos that info gets stored) but he's the only one who gives off less charisma than her. Well, maybe Canine Man.

At least now we know how she keeps getting work, right?

Jul 29 - 03:51 PM

Kadeem Stewart

Can't wait for next year when Despicable Me 2 comes out, but I love the minions.

Jul 27 - 05:43 PM

preciliano Beltran

I have to applaud the watcher for nailing all of his statements I totally agree with his comments.

Jul 27 - 06:38 PM

Jim Ylonen

Why do the best actors start out directing the most boring movies? (The Town, Larry Crowne, The Rundown)

Jul 27 - 09:23 PM

King Crunk

The Town was not Affleck's first film, nor was Larry Crowne Hank's first. I never hear or read anybody screaming for Peter Berg to act more, so I am not sure how The Rundown fits into the conversation. I love The Rundown, though; one movie I actually think needs a sequel.

Jul 27 - 10:47 PM

King Simba

Despicable Me was hilarious, but I think they're really overusing the Minions. They were great as side characters, but the way Universal is going at it, you'd think that's all Despicable Me was about. I mean even the DVD focused on nothing but Minions. Making of the Minions, Minion shorts, Minion audio commentary, etc. I have a feeling by the time Despicable Me 2 hits theaters, audiences will have grown tired of Minions.

Edgar Wright has yet to make a bad movie, so count me in on Collider when ever he gets around to making it.

I don't see what's the fuss over Dreamworks buying Classic Media. I mean I'm pretty sure their animated movies will be much better than most of the live action movies these characters got.

Can't say I'm interested in a movie about Wikileaks. Then again, I groaned when David Fincher decided to "waste" his time on a Facebook movie and look how that turned out. So yeah, it's basically the kind of film where reviews will be the deciding factor on me watching it.

Aside from Jumper (which had a script so muddled I'm not sure what any Director could do with it), Doug Liman has had a pretty solid resume, so I'm catiously optimistic about Time and Again.

I was planning on checking out Prometheus, but after the reactions it got, where people either seemed to love it or loathe it, I decided I'll catch it on DVD. However, even if I fall in the latter category I'll still be a fan of Ridley Scott, so I'm excited to see what he has in store next, especially with a screenwriter with such impressive credits.

Jul 27 - 11:58 PM

The Watcher

Well, I think no matter what happens, the Wiki movie will most probably not be as great as Social Network, I just don't see how it could be. Fincher delivered a truly spectacular, career-defining film (again).

Liman directed Jumper? Wow, I completely forgot about that movie. Man, was it terrible.

Prometheus wasn't, like' terrible, but it's a movie with a good 1st half and a very messy and underdeveloped second. Still worth a watch, though, even if you end up feeling disappointed.

Jul 28 - 11:04 AM

Noah Abraham Goucher

I didn't even like the Minions in the first place! They weren't bad, but Minion in Megamind was about a million times better. Actually, the same can be said for Megamind as whole. We won't be getting a sequel to THAT of course. *Not at all bitter*

Jul 28 - 12:53 AM

Billy Barnett

Yeah, but i didn't like Megamind, it didn't feel like much of a Dreamworks film IMO.

Jul 28 - 06:23 AM

Bradly Martin

How do you figure, it followed every single Dreamworks cliche there was. A fish out of water who society shuns finds the courage to rise above the shunning of society at which point society loves him...The End. EVERY FREAKING TIME!

Jul 28 - 10:50 AM

Bram Sterling

A minion movie? Really?

Jul 28 - 06:24 AM

Gordon Terry

hey SHERMAN HEMSLEY PASSED AWAY . . . star of The Jeffersons TV-Show . . . he also appeared in LOVE AT FIRST BITE and GHOST FEVER among other films.

Jul 28 - 08:04 AM

Janson Jinnistan

Gone to be with Wheezy...

Jul 28 - 01:43 PM

Bigbrother .

Don't forget Archie Bunker and Amen. The Sherminator was in a lot of stuff.

Jul 29 - 03:34 AM

Seph Packer

I actually enjoyed The Watch but I could see how people wouldn't. It did seem like everyone phoned it in though, except Vince Vaughn. I hope Aloha would have more desire.

Jul 28 - 08:22 AM

Janson Jinnistan

Blah week, but a couple notes. First off, how is Protosevitch still getting work? His screenplays are excremental.

I still think Julian Sands is the only person who can play Julian Assange.

Anyone interested in Bill Hicks should probably stick with the doc "Bill Hicks: American" or any of his many stand up performances. Like when Jim Carrey turned Andy Kaufman into a dead-eyed creep, robbing away Kaufman's real-life child-like charm, there doesn't seem to be much of a reason to do biopics on people who are best seen for themselves.

Jul 28 - 01:42 PM

Joshua "LF" Mitchell

The minion movie is a painfully obvious cash grab, but in the end, I'll probably go see it with just an inkling of guilt. :P

And how did Dreamwork's deal get in the "fresh" developments? The last thing I want to see is CGI versions of Lassie or Frosty the Snowman riddled with pop culture references and potty humor. Ugh.

Jul 28 - 02:19 PM

This Guy

Edgar Wright and J.J. Abrams......nice!

Two of my favorite directors working today, along with Matthew Vaughn.

Jul 28 - 02:45 PM

Stepping Razor

Alex Pettyfer to co-star in a movie with Kristen Stewart? Why in the world does he still get movie roles after starring in a number of flops? Hollywood is a strange place, giving roles to actors partly responsible for flop after flop. They're also giving more roles to Taylor Kitsch, even though he's starred in three flops in a row (two of them were monumental flops). What exactly does it take for Hollywood to think that maybe it's not a good idea to cast these actors in leads? And what would it take for Hollywood to actually cast an Asian-American actor in a leading role? I'm sure an Asian-American actor can be the lead in three huge flops just as badly as a white actor can. I would bet that an Asian-American actor -- if given a lead role, that is -- wouldn't see a second movie if they were the lead in a movie that got a high-ranking studio executive fired, nevermind a third or a fourth.

Jul 28 - 04:23 PM

King Simba

Um....Alex Pettyfer has not been in a number of flops. Beastly and I am Number Four may not have been the next Twilight the way the studios were obviously hoping, but they were both low budget enough that their modest grosses made them succesful (just not enough for the studio to go ahead with I am Number Five or I am Number Four 2, whatever they were planning on calling the sequel). He was also in Magic Mike recently, which was one of the surprise hits of the summer.

As for Taylor Kitsch, you do realize he's pretty much done with blockbusters? He even said so himself (though of course, he made it sound like it was a personal choice, rather than no studio wanted to have him headline a big budget film after Battleship and John Carter). And to his credit, he wasn't the reason why the films flopped, given that his name was hardly the focus in the marketing of either film, so it's actually kind of unfair that he's being blamed for their failure, but then again there always has to be a scapegoat.

Oh, and Savages isn't really a flop. It's closing in on its budget domestically, so depending on how well it does worldwide, it could make enough to show a modest profit.

Jul 28 - 11:37 PM