Total Recall: Best and Worst Part Fours
With Resident Evil: Afterlife hitting theaters, we look at memorable fourquels.
It's no secret that Hollywood loves sequels -- but studios are also pretty quick to abandon franchises when they start running out of steam at the box office, so if a series can make it past three installments, it's an achievement worth noticing. Of course, noticing and commending are two different things -- but while we tend to be cynical about sequels, particularly later ones, not all fourth film chapters are created equal. In honor of Resident Evil: Afterlife's impending bow, we decided to dedicate this week's column to some of our favorite (and not-so-favorite) third sequels. Direct-to-video titles were, as always, off limits, and we mostly ignored the many sequel-friendly (and drearily similar) horror franchises -- but that still left plenty of films to choose from. From the maligned to the honored, from the wildly successful to the all-but-forgotten, it's time to Total Recall...tetralogically!
The Magnificent Seven Ride!
Why Three Just Wasn't Enough: Get seven mercenaries together in the Wild West, load up their pistols, and you've got yourself countless stories to tell -- and as long as they keep their hats on, it's harder for audiences to tell that you've replaced the entire original cast.
Major Changes: Lee Van Cleef stars here as Chris Adams, taking over the lead role from Yul Brynner and George Kennedy. Other than that, this is fairly standard ridin' and shootin'.
Does the Saga Continue? Not unless you count the short-lived Magnificent Seven series that ran on CBS during the late 1990s.
Herbie Goes Bananas
Why Three Just Wasn't Enough: Because once you've gotten people to line up for a movie about a Volkswagen Beetle that can think for itself, science pretty much demands that you keep on doing it until they lose interest.
Major Changes: Having traveled to Monte Carlo in the previous sequel, Herbie heads for Mexico, where he meets up with an irascible young pickpocket (named Paco, natch), foils a scheme to steal Incan treasure, and, uh, bullfights. Cloris Leachman, still six years away from scraping the barrel with The Facts of Life, appears, as does a clearly pained Harvey Korman.
Does the Saga Continue? Pretty much. Two years later, Herbie made his way to television via the quickly canceled Herbie the Matchmaker; then, in 2005, Lindsay Lohan got behind the wheel for Herbie: Fully Loaded.
Police Academy 4 - Citizens on Patrol
Why Three Just Wasn't Enough: Because George Gaynes needed something to do on his Punky Brewster hiatus. Besides, the law clearly stated that Steve Guttenberg had to be in at least a dozen films in 1987.
Major Changes: For the fourth Academy, our bumbling officers are paired up with ordinary citizens through the Citizens on Patrol program (COP -- get it?). Gaynes, regrettably, doesn't appear in much of the movie, thanks to a gaggle of screen-hogging new recruits that include a young David Spade (and Sharon Stone, busily touring many of the worst films of the late 1980s).
Does the Saga Continue? Yes -- for quite awhile, in fact. The series slowed down after 1989's Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, but it resurfaced for a seventh installment with 1994's Police Academy: Mission to Moscow, and a franchise reboot has been rumored for years.
Jaws 4 - The Revenge
Why Three Just Wasn't Enough: Three reasons: 1) Sharks are always scary, 2) 1983's Jaws 3-D grossed almost $90 million against an $18 million budget, and 3) Jaws 3-D was so bad that almost anything else had to be better. Enter this 1987 aquatic turkey, along with one of the most infamous taglines ever: "This time it's personal."
Major Changes: Pretending Jaws 3-D didn't exist, Jaws: The Revenge returned the franchise's focus to the Brody family, the shark-killing clan headed up by Roy Scheider in the first two films. Scheider disavowed the series after Jaws 2, so the story centered on his widow (Lorraine Gary, reprising her role) and her discovery that a shark is, uh, stalking her family. After enlisting a free-spirited pilot (Academy Award winner Michael Caine) to help her end the carnage once and for all, Ellen impales the great white...at which point it explodes.
Does the Saga Continue? Absolutely not. But in today's reboot-crazy climate (and the renewed viability of creature features like Piranha 3D), it's probably only a matter of time before the original oceanic baddie returns to reclaim its crown.
The Next Karate Kid
Why Three Just Wasn't Enough: It's difficult to say, given that The Karate Kid Part III was disliked by critics, ignored by audiences, and mocked by the 1989 Golden Raspberry Awards, where it received five nominations (including Worst Picture, Worst Director, and Worst Actor).
Major Changes: After Ralph Macchio decided he was finished playing Daniel-san (and director John G. Avildsen left the franchise to direct 8 Seconds), the studio opted for a fresh start, transplanting Mr. Miyagi (Pat Morita) from L.A. to Boston and giving him an angry teenage girl (Hilary Swank) to train. Also new: The Next Karate Kid's pitiful $15 million gross.
Does the Saga Continue? Sort of. After lying dormant for 16 years, the franchise was revived in early 2010 with a reboot starring Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan -- and given that the new Karate Kid has earned almost $300 million, another sequel is already in the works.
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
Why Three Just Wasn't Enough: Because not even the garish silliness of 1983's Richard Pryor-assisted Superman III was enough to kill the franchise. That would take the foul might of Superman IV's ludicrous villain, Nuclear Man.
Major Changes: Jon Cryer joins the cast as Lex Luthor's teenage nephew Lenny, and Mariel Hemingway bats her eyes as the would-be Super seductress Lacy Warfield. But most importantly, there's the well-intentioned (but woefully, woefully misguided) storyline, which finds Superman on a quest to rid the Earth of nuclear weapons.
Does the Saga Continue? This chunk of cinematic Kryptonite was enough to keep the franchise in suspended animation until 2006, when Brandon Routh donned the cape for Superman Returns...only to watch Warners put the Man of Steel back in development hell.
Batman & Robin
Why Three Just Wasn't Enough: Even with a new Batman (Val Kilmer, taking over for Michael Keaton) and a decidedly mixed response from critics, 1995's Batman Forever lived up to its title, besting Batman Returns' $266 million worldwide gross -- so a fourth film was inevitable, even if it meant switching stars again.
Major Changes: Kilmer wasn't available when Warner Bros. wanted to film Batman and Robin, so George Clooney donned the cowl and stood alongside Robin (a returning Chris O'Donnell) and Batgirl (Alicia Silverstone) against the menace of the diabolical Mr. Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman).
Does the Saga Continue? Yes, but it took eight years and a whole bunch of false starts before the studio finally settled on Christopher Nolan to reboot the franchise with 2005's Batman Begins. We think you'll agree they chose wisely.
Hannibal Rising
Why Three Just Wasn't Enough: Because after The Silence of the Lambs proved that Thomas Harris' Hannibal Lecter character was irresistible to movie audiences, he did the sensible thing and kept right on cranking out Lecter books for years -- and the film adaptations kept coming too.
Major Changes: For the first time since 1986's Manhunter (which we're not counting here anyway), Lecter wasn't played by Anthony Hopkins -- because no matter how great an actor he is, he wasn't the right guy to portray Lecter during his transformation from impressionable Lithuanian youth to murderous cannibal.
Does the Saga Continue? No, and it doesn't seem likely that it will -- at least not for another ten years or so, when some enterprising producer gets the itch to reboot the whole series.
Death Wish IV: The Crackdown
Why Three Just Wasn't Enough: It really probably should have been, but the Death Wish movies were a modest cash cow for Cannon -- 1985's wonderfully over-the-top Death Wish 3 turned a profit despite its paltry $16 million gross.
Major Changes: Tireless vigilante Paul Kersey (Bronson) heads to L.A., because there's a major drug problem, and he's the only one man enough to wipe out the dealers. With grenades.
Does the Saga Continue? Sadly, yes. Bronson was somehow lured back to the franchise for 1994's ghastly Death Wish V: The Face of Death, which ended up grossing less than $2 million during its brief theatrical run.
The Concorde ... Airport '79
Why Three Just Wasn't Enough: Because throwing a bunch of B-list stars into an enclosed space and making them act out a ridiculous storyline never gets old. (Also: George Kennedy, who appeared as Renaissance man Joe Petroni in all of the Airport movies, had bills to pay.)
Major Changes: The Airport series started slipping into the realm of the bizarre with the Bermuda Triangle-set Airport '77, but here it careens into sci-fi with a storyline involving a crazed arms dealer (Robert Wagner) trying to destroy a Concorde jet. Charo, Martha Raye, and Jimmie Walker are involved.
Does the Saga Continue? Did you read the words "Charo, Martha Raye, and Jimmie Walker"? Airport '79 was the final nail in the franchise -- as well as the disaster-movie fad of the '70s, so ripe for parody at this point that the spoof Airplane! was a bigger hit (and a better film).
Fast and Furious
Why Three Just Wasn't Enough: Because fast cars are awesome. It also didn't hurt that the stars of the original (Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez, and Jordana Brewster) reprised their roles, restoring continuity to a series that had undergone plenty of cast turnover.
Major Changes: There's an important death that, ahem, fuels the plot, but other than that, this is not a franchise that values change. It's fast and it's furious -- what else do you expect?
Does the Saga Continue? The fifth installment, currently titled Fast Five, is filming now with Diesel and Walker, as well as Ludacris, Tyrese Gibson, and Dwayne Johnson.
Terminator Salvation
Why Three Just Wasn't Enough: Because when you've got a franchise big enough to support a head-scratching, time-traveling storyline, multiple studio deaths, and a short-lived TV spinoff, you don't stop until your killer robots are completely out of juice. Plus, there's that whole "$1.4 billion in worldwide box office" thing to consider.
Major Changes: Christian Bale stepped into the role of resistance leader/Chosen One John Connor, taking over for Nick Stahl (Terminator 3) and Edward Furlong (Terminator 2); Bryce Dallas Howard inherited the role of Kate Brewster Connor from Terminator 3's Claire Danes. But the most important addition was undoubtedly Sam Worthington as Marcus Wright, the unwitting cyborg who helps Connor keep Kyle Reese (Anton Yelchin) alive long enough to head back in time...where he'll become Connor's father. Wait, what?
Does the Saga Continue? Not yet -- another studio bankruptcy has postponed further development of the "new trilogy" that Salvation was supposed to begin -- but we're pretty sure the machines will rise again.
Rambo
Why Three Just Wasn't Enough: Because after 20 years, the guilt of being responsible for 1988's extraordinarily silly Rambo III was too much for Sylvester Stallone to bear.
Major Changes: Well, Rambo is 20 years older, for starters -- and while the years have been kind to his sculpted physique, they've taken a brutal toll on his spiritual well-being. As Rambo begins, he's basically a snarling hermit who yells at the missionary (Julie Benz) who asks him for a ferry ride into Burma. He eventually changes his mind, of course...and lays thrilling waste to dozens upon dozens of bad guys.
Does the Saga Continue? For awhile, it looked like Stallone was gearing up for a fifth installment -- at one point, it was even rumored that Rambo would fight a genetically engineered super-beast -- but his most recent statements seem to indicate that he's done with the character. Of course, that doesn't mean the franchise couldn't be rebooted without him.
prkprkprk on 09-8-2010 05:07 PM
Jaws 4 is, in my opinion, the worst movie of all time and the worst of this list. Everything else was either pretty bad or at least OK. Conquest of the Planet of the Apes is a very underrated film, I was very surprised to find it at 44%. Just my opinions.
BLaCKWoLF on 09-9-2010 05:05 AM
With a roaring, spontaneously combusting shark as the villain, Jaws 4 comes pretty close to the 'worst film of all time' category lol
Kellygopal on 09-10-2010 01:13 PM
I saw one far worse in 1965. Don't remember the name but I I found it fascinating by how bad it was
MisterMeekmeiser on 09-10-2010 02:42 PM
I actually didn't mind Jaws 3-D. Maybe I'm being nostalgic since I saw it in theaters as a kid, but I thought it was much better than Jaws: The Revenge. Of course ... neither film is anywhere near the quality of the original. Jaws 2 was okay, but more just a carbon copy (where the quality drops and you can tell).
MisterMeekmeiser on 09-10-2010 02:44 PM
Oh, and I think "Batman & Robin" was worse than "Jaws: The Revenge."
Esteban H. on 09-10-2010 03:02 PM
Without a doubt, Batman and Robin is by far the worst movie listed here I've seen.
razorath92 on 09-11-2010 06:45 PM
Agreed