21 Jump Street Quotes

The top 21 Jump Street quotes selected by the Rotten Tomatoes community. Login to submit a quote!

• 1. Molly Tracey: Hey Brad. Whoa! What are you wearing?
  2. Jenko: Potassium Nitrate, thanks for noticing.
  – Submitted by Ann A (2 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: You know how Tom Cruise is always pissed off at Rainman? That's my life, except Brad is really shitty at math.
  – Submitted by Ann A (2 months ago)
• 1. Annie Schmidt: What kind of a sick animal draws an ejaculating penis into an eight-year old's mouth?
  2. Jenko: It could be, like, an airplane throwing up.
  3. Annie Schmidt: You think I don't know that's a dick and balls? I know all about dick and balls! I used to party with Robert Downey Jr , when he was really fucked up and a lot of fun!
  – Submitted by Ann A (2 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: Can I go take a dump?
  – Submitted by Ann A (2 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: It's like seven strangers living in one house. True story!
  – Submitted by Ann A (2 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: How about a pound of coke?
  2. Schmidt: We're trying to show them a good time. Not ruin their fucking lives!
  3. Jenko: Pound of marijuana?
  4. Schmidt: Best party ever!
  – Submitted by Cody H (4 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: You'll find yourself in prison. With a snorkel, duct-taped to the mouth. And me, shitting down that snorkel!
  2. Schmidt: That's extremely vivid, thank you.
  – Submitted by Sarah K (4 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: New assignment. Since you two cowboys love to drink booze, smoke weed with kids, and fuck anything with a big ass in jeans with low self-esteem, I'm gonna send you to a place where all that shit is allowed.
  2. Jenko: Oh, I love Disneyland!
  3. Captain Dickson: You two sons of bitches are going to college!
  4. Schmidt: Yes!
  5. Jenko: No!
  – Submitted by Lily M (6 months ago)
• 1. Domingo: If it's good you hear from me. If it's not good you hear from me about telling you how it's not good.
  – Submitted by Daniel R (7 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: Since Captain Dickson: Enough, already. Enough. New assignment. Since you two cowboys love to drink booze, smoke weed with kids and fuck anything with a big ass in jeans with low self esteem, I'm a send you to a place where all that shit is allowed.
  2. Jenko: I love disneyland.
  3. Captain Dickson: You two sons of bitches are goin' to college!
  – Submitted by YakUb R (8 months ago)
• 1. French Samuels: You look really young, were you held back or something?
  2. Jenko: No, you look really young. Were you held forward?
  – Submitted by Reid R (9 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: It looks like I died in a car accident and you guys haven't gotten over it yet.
  – Submitted by Reid R (9 months ago)
• 1. Eric Molson: You made me this friendship bracelet.
  2. Jenko: Well he's not really your friend, he was pretending the whole time.
  3. Eric Molson: I'm gonna cut this the fuck off later alright!
  – Submitted by Reid R (9 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: It's gonna explode, roll your window up!
  2. Schmidt: What the fuck is that gonna do?
  – Submitted by Kalli C (9 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: [flipping through files]
  2. Captain Dickson: Schmidt, says you were a virgin through high school.
  3. Schmidt: It says that!?
  4. Captain Dickson: No, I just assumed it!
  – Submitted by Tosaka T (9 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: Seriously, I'd have no strap if that would even be possible.
  – Submitted by Kaylee W (9 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: Do you want to die?
  2. Schmidt: No...
  3. Jenko: Then we have to finger each other's throats. Okay? Go!
  – Submitted by Christopher P (9 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: [receives a test with a 44%] God, what bullshit.
  2. Schmidt: [receives a test with a perfect score]
  3. Jenko: Damn, your good at this....wanna be friends?
  – Submitted by Tim F (9 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: We're not sitting around... POPPING each others' zzasholes.
  – Submitted by Darren Z (9 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: One particle of unobtanium has a nuclear reaction with the flux capacitor, carry the two, changing its atomic isotope into a radioactive spider.
  – Submitted by Corey O (10 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: When I'm talking to him, I'm talking to him. When I say shut the fuck up, I'm talking to you!
  – Submitted by Noel Joseph B (10 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: You're a Goddamn rockstar. Do you feel that? Goddamn your so cool. You just shot him in the dick. I've never seen that. Who does that?
  – Submitted by Kallie J (10 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: Are you ready for a lifetime of being badass motherfuckers?
  2. Schmidt: I am.
  – Submitted by Palmer R (10 months ago)
• 1. Ms. Griggs: Let me check your chest, I mean test.
  – Submitted by Palmer R (10 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: You're a girl.
  2. Molly Tracey: I am. That's why I'm wearing this pretty dress, to remind you.
  – Submitted by Palmer R (10 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: [to Schmidt] When I'm talking about having sex, I'm talking about Handsome McGee. When I'm talking about shutting the fuck up, I'm talking to your insecure ass.
  – Submitted by Palmer R (10 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: The doctor thought I was gonna spontaneously grow a vagina.
  – Submitted by Nicholas R (10 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: You look like a young Jay Leno.
  – Submitted by Nicholas R (10 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: You guys are hear cuz you look young. You some Justin Beaver, Miley Cyrus lookin motherfuckers.
  2. Schmidt: [whispering] God, this guy is sassy.
  – Submitted by Nicholas R (10 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: Look, you're hot, and you're a fuckin slut, but I gotta shoot people right now.
  2. Melodie: You think Im hot?
  – Submitted by Dina A (10 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: Ap chemistry. Bitch!
  – Submitted by Dina A (10 months ago)
• 1. Eric Molson: Get in the fucking car now!
  2. Jenko: Not until you ask nicely.
  3. Eric Molson: Please get in the car.
  – Submitted by Evan T (10 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: [slams desk] Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier!
  2. Jenko: But if we find the supplier first, we don't have to worry about the dealers.
  3. Captain Dickson: God damn. [slams desk]
  – Submitted by Pete G (10 months ago)
• 1. Hamilton Principal: You punched a little black gay kid and its not even second period, how do you explain that?
  – Submitted by Antonio F (10 months ago)
• 1. Principal Dadier: I'm one more Little gay black kid getting slapped in the face away from a nervous breakdown.
  – Submitted by Daniel R (10 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: This kid was white, so people actually give a shit.
  – Submitted by Daniel R (10 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: This feels like the end of Die hard, but this is real life!
  2. Jenko: Which one?
  3. Schmidt: The 3rd one Samuel Jackson style.
  4. Jenko: Fuck yeah!
  – Submitted by Kenny L (10 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: Sir, I know we come off as a couple of ladykillers, but I promise you we will be super professional on the job.
  2. Captain Dickson: Clearly I wasn't talkin' to you, big titties! You cherub lookin' motherfucker. I was talkin' to your partner over here, Fake ass handsome McGee! When I'm talkin' to him, I'm talkin' to him. When I say, shut the fuck up, I'm talkin' to you.
  3. Schmidt: Cool
  – Submitted by Johnathan K (10 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: We're not finger poppin' each other's assholes. What we are doing is getting shit done.
  – Submitted by Prakatheesh N (10 months ago)
• 1. Mr. Walters: Don't throw the baton, you jackass!
  – Submitted by Prakatheesh N (10 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: They don't serve vegan in prison, Bitch.
  – Submitted by Richie B (10 months ago)
• 1. Eric Molson: It rhymes with grape..
  – Submitted by Mary B (10 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: We're like, in the end of 'Die Hard' right now, only it's our actual life!
  – Submitted by Evan T (11 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: You are here because you some Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus lookin' muthafuckers.
  – Submitted by Dan O (11 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: One particle of unobtanium has a nuclear reaction with the flux ... carry the two, changing its atomic isotope into a radioactive spider.
  – Submitted by Jordon K (11 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: You are fine as shit! Don't worry, Someone will pick you up!
  – Submitted by Brooke J (11 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: There's rumors, On the tweetosphere, that yall throwing a part.
  – Submitted by Muhammad M (12 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: Are yall throwin a party?
  2. Captain Dickson: There's rumors, In the tweetosphere, And if my officers are caught giving alcohol to the minors, the'll find themselves in prison, with a snorkel duck-taped to their mouth, and me, shitting down that snorkel!
  3. Schmidt: Its extremely vivid, thank you!
  – Submitted by Muhammad M (12 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: And as you can see, this kid is white. That means, people actually give a shit.
  2. Captain Dickson: Sir, I just wanna throw out to you that I would give a shit if he was black.
  – Submitted by Muhammad M (12 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: Sir, I know we come off as a couple of ladykillers, but I promise you we will be super professional on the job.
  2. Captain Dickson: Clearly I wasn't talkin' to you, big titties! You cherub lookin' motherfucker. I was talkin' to your partner over here, Fake ass handsome McGee! When I'm talkin' to him, I'm talkin' to him. When I say, shut the fuck up, I'm talkin' to you.
  3. Schmidt: Cool.
  – Submitted by Muhammad M (12 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: [to Jenko] You hear that? That's you. Don't do it, man. Keep that dirty dick in your pants. Don't fuck no students. Don't fuck no teachers.
  – Submitted by Muhammad M (12 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: Didn't somebody tell you tell you guys this was a undercover unit?
  2. Schmidt: I don't...I actually didn't...I didn't get a letter or anything. Or a dress code...
  3. Jenko: Yeah, like...
  4. Captain Dickson: Teenage the fuck up!
  – Submitted by Muhammad M (12 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: Everybody comfortable?
  2. Schmidt: Yeah.
  3. Captain Dickson: Get your motherfuckin' ass up when I'm talkin'!
  4. Captain Dickson: You will be going undercover as high school students. You are here simply because you look young. You some Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus lookin' motherfuckers.
  – Submitted by Muhammad M (12 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: Schmidt, Say's you were a Virgin through high school
  2. Schmidt: It Says that?
  3. Captain Dickson: No. I just Assumed it!
  – Submitted by Muhammad M (12 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: The mission is quick and simple: infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier.
  2. Schmidt: Wait so we get to be brothers?
  3. Captain Dickson: [shakes his head in annoyance and smashes the desk] Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier!
  4. Jenko: Wait if we find the supplier first then we don't have to worry about the dealers.
  5. Captain Dickson: Goddamn. [smashes the desk even harder] INFILTRATE THE DEALERS! FIND THE SUPPLIER!
  – Submitted by Dariush A (12 months ago)
• 1. Deputy Chief Hardy: Down on Jump St., 37 Jump St. Nah, that doesn't sound right. Is it...
  – Submitted by Hana K (12 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: Are you saying we're a covalent bond?
  2. Jenko: No dude, we're not atoms!
  – Submitted by Maximilian M (13 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: Jenko, do you wanna go to prom with me?
  – Submitted by Zaenal A (13 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: I wasn't talking to you not so Slim Shaddy!
  – Submitted by Bo A (13 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: Hey! Hey! Stop fuckin with korean jesus. he aint got time for your problems, hes busy with korean shit!
  – Submitted by James D (13 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: Embrace yo stereotypes!
  – Submitted by Michael B (13 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: Fuck you Glee.
  – Submitted by Keith N (13 months ago)
• 1. Eric Molson: Your a cop. You lied to me.
  2. Schmidt: I'm sorry, man.
  3. Eric Molson: But you bought us Taco Bell.
  – Submitted by Sean B (13 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: Where did you learn how to do that?
  2. Jenko: AP CHEMISTRY BITCH!
  – Submitted by Mike S (13 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: Have some fairy dust motherfucker!!
  – Submitted by Jacob M (13 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: Fuck you science!
  – Submitted by Daniel F (13 months ago)
• 1. Eric Molson: ....it rhymes with grape!
  – Submitted by AnnaMarie I (13 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: Theres gonna be a snorkle taped to your mouth and at the other end ima be shitting down that tube..
  – Submitted by Grace T (13 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: Don't you be fucking with Korean Jesus! He's busy with Korean shit!
  – Submitted by Suzanne N (13 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: Hey Korean Jesus, I don't know if you only cater to Koreans, or even exist.
  – Submitted by Daniel G (13 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: Aroma of Christ Church?
  – Submitted by Daniel G (13 months ago)
• 1. Mr. Gordon: You'll never know what you can't achieve, until you don't achieve it.
  – Submitted by Logan E (14 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: This house is adorable!
  – Submitted by Dan C (14 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: Have some fairy dust motherfucker!
  – Submitted by Brenda P (14 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: I really thought that was going to explode.
  – Submitted by Ethan R (14 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: Dont feed the ducks... don't do it!
  – Submitted by Lacie C (14 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: You guys called the cops to get your frisbee out of the pond? Is this really a police matter?
  2. Jenko: [goes to hand frisbee back to the boy, turns around and throws it back in the pond]
  3. Jenko: Get your own f*cking frisbee!
  – Submitted by Joe L (14 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: Fuck you, Glee!
  – Submitted by Santana L (14 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: You have the right to remain silent, MOTHER FUCKER!
  – Submitted by Mike F (14 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: Man... I thought this job would have more car chases and shit...
  – Submitted by Diego U (14 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: Will you go to prom with me?
  – Submitted by Kelly D (14 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: Doves make you look bad-ass!
  – Submitted by Kelly D (14 months ago)
• 1. Jenko: FUCK YOU SCIENCE!
  – Submitted by Carina B (14 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: Can you two stop fucking with the Korean Jesus!
  – Submitted by Tom H (14 months ago)
• 1. Schmidt: When did I get stabbed?! That's awesome!
  – Submitted by Alyssa B (14 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: You are here because you some Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus lookin' motherfuckers. You will be going in as undercover high school students.
  – Submitted by Alyssa B (14 months ago)
• 1. Domingo: You guys even real cops? You look like kids in Halloween
  2. Jenko: Hey! You want me to beat your dick off?
  3. Domingo: You want to beat my dick off?
  4. Schmidt: I think what he was trying to say was, he's gonna punch you so many times round the genital area that your dick's just gonna fall off.
  – Submitted by Alyssa B (14 months ago)
• 1. Mr. Walters: Put your tongue back in your mouth.
  – Submitted by Ben C (14 months ago)
• 1. Mr. Walters: When did you go through puberty? Like at seven or something.
  – Submitted by Austin G (14 months ago)
• 1. Ms. Griggs: Let me check out your chest... Let me check out your test.
  – Submitted by Chris P (14 months ago)
• 1. Captain Dickson: Do you even know the Miranda rights?
  2. Jenko: It obviously starts with... you have the right to... remain an attorney...
  3. Captain Dickson: Did you just say you have the right to be an attorney?
  4. Schmidt: Well, you do have the right to be an attorney if you want to...
  – Submitted by Steven G (15 months ago)