2-Headed Shark Attack Reviews
Most of their previous productions have been pretty kid-friendly, hence their popularity with the SyFy network, but with this one they've gone for a more adult approach. We get nudity, lesbianism, and some extreme gore. It's a lot more nihilistic than you may expect from such a jokey concept and most characters meet a bloody end.
It seems everyone involved is related to someone more famous than themselves. The director is the son of eighties schlock king Fred Olen Ray, O'Connell is the brother of "Piranha 3D" star Jerry O'Connell, and Hogan is the daughter of wrestler Hulk Hogan. The closest to a star is Electra but her role mainly consists of sunbathing montages.
If The Asylum dumped the cheap CG for old school rubber monsters and employed some wittier writers their movies may live up to their titles. They may claim that their sole aim is to make "six-pack" movies but you need something a lot stronger than beer to get through most of their product.
So. Another shark movie. More specifically, another Asylum shark movie. Why do I always get stuck with these? I mean honestly. This was such a boring and bad experience, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
The premise is thus: These kids, their teacher and Carmen Electra (I say her name apart since I don't understand what the hell her role is) head out into the seas and become stranded when the carcass of a shark is stuck on their propellers. Soon enough, a 2-headed shark begins to attack.
Oh lord, I've been irritated by actors/actresses before, but not quite like a certain one. Her role is so annoying that you will find yourself screaming at the screen as a result. The rest of the acting isn't really horrendous, but it isn't anything resembling good.
The CGI is, as always, silly and terrible. I've seen better movies in the 50s than these ones. If The Asylum think it is doing good B-movies, they're wrong. This should be C-movies. (If such a thing exists).
The editing is very, very poor. You can see better editing at small YouTube channels. (By the way, nice legs there, cameraman. You and your camera make a fine addition to the movie. @1:08:00)
The story is just poor; it's mostly a rip-off from the movie Jaws. Though to be honest, everyone kind of had a second life. What, with all the poor editing, you could see people live/die over and over again till the scenes ended. Make up your mind movie.
It's not the worst shark movie we've seen, but it is certainly bad either way. Could The Asylum start producing some actually well? Can it be that time? I'd love for it to be that time.
This movie gets a 1 out of 10.