Crazy, Stupid, Love. Quotes

The top Crazy, Stupid, Love. quotes selected by the Rotten Tomatoes community. Login to submit a quote!

  • Cal:
    I imagine you suffocating under a pile of women.
    ‐ Submitted by Charlotte W (2 years ago)

  • Hannah:
    Oh, you think coffee and sleep don't go together? Well, they do if it's High Point. It's decaffeinated!
    ‐ Submitted by Ann A (2 years ago)

  • Jacob:
    I am wildly unhappy.
    ‐ Submitted by Ann A (2 years ago)

  • Hannah:
    Daddy?
    Jacob:
    Please, stop calling him that.
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (2 years ago)

  • Jacob:
    You know at the end of the film, where Patrick Swayze lifts the girl up in the air? I put that song on, the women jump into my arms and then they want to have sex with me.
    Hannah:
    It's not going to work on me.
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (2 years ago)

  • Cal:
    I feel like I'm going skiing...
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (2 years ago)

  • Emily:
    I'm so glad you bought me that ice cream.
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (2 years ago)

  • Cal:
    I'm worried you might have AIDS.
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (2 years ago)

  • Robbie:
    So you're the reason for my parent's break-up [talking to David]
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (2 years ago)

  • Cal:
    I slept with nine different women... [hestitates] Oh god.
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (2 years ago)

  • Jessica:
    He doesn't even know about the naked photos!
    Cal:
    WHAT?
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (2 years ago)

  • David Lindhagen:
    Is this a bad time?
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (2 years ago)

  • Hannah:
    I love curling up with a rich cup of coffee. What? You think coffee and sleep don't mix? Well they do if it's high point... its decaffeinated! And the flavor is MARVOLOUS!
    ‐ Submitted by Karina P (2 years ago)

  • Jacob:
    The war between the sexes is over. We won that war the day women started doing pole dancing for exercise.
    ‐ Submitted by Veronica H (2 years ago)

  • Cal:
    You are the perfect combination of perfect and cute..
    ‐ Submitted by Amit A (2 years ago)

  • Hannah:
    Seriously? It's like you're Photoshopped.
    ‐ Submitted by Aeen G (3 years ago)

  • Robbie:
    Well, the A they're both wearing I think it stands for 'asshole'. Wanna know why? Because they fell in love and love is for stupid assholes. And this book is just about a bunch of assholes who fell in love, like assholes then had to die, like assholes. I'm sorry about all the 'assholes'.
    ‐ Submitted by Aeen G (3 years ago)

  • Cal:
    Oh my God, you did. You Miyagi'd me!
    ‐ Submitted by Julius T (3 years ago)

  • Emily Weaver:
    Spreadsheets.
    David Lindhagen:
    Spreadsheets.
    Emily Weaver:
    See you at work...
    David Lindhagen:
    Yeah...see you at work
    ‐ Submitted by Stephen S (3 years ago)

  • Jacob Palmer:
    I work dirty dancing into the conversation.
    Hannah:
    That's the most rediculous thing I've ever heard.
    ‐ Submitted by Senam N (3 years ago)

  • Jacob Palmer:
    You see that, Cal. As soon as you opened your mouth Tiffany starting doubting wheather she wanted to sleep with you anymore.
    Cal:
    That's probably the meanest thing anyone's every said to me.
    ‐ Submitted by Dan P (3 years ago)

  • Jacob:
    You play your strengths, Pal. That's all any of us can do.
    ‐ Submitted by Scott T (3 years ago)

  • Hannah:
    I'm R-rated sexy.
    ‐ Submitted by Tomas K (3 years ago)

  • Jacob:
    Cal, be better than the Gap. Be better than the Gap. Say it.
    Cal:
    I'm better than the Gap.
    ‐ Submitted by Dennis L (3 years ago)

  • Jacob:
    Are you Steve Jobs?
    Cal:
    What?
    Jacob:
    Hold on a second. Are you the billionaire owner of Apple Computers?
    Cal:
    No.
    Jacob:
    Oh. Okay. Well, in that case, you got no right to wear New Balance sneakers ever.
    ‐ Submitted by Dennis L (3 years ago)

  • Jacob Palmer:
    Honestly, I don't know if I should help you or I should euthanize you.
    ‐ Submitted by Nastassia J (3 years ago)

  • Cal:
    I should not have jumped out of that car. I should have fought, for you. 'Cause you fight for your soul mates.
    ‐ Submitted by Alejandro T (3 years ago)

  • Liz:
    You're life is so PG-13.
    ‐ Submitted by Alejandro T (3 years ago)

  • Jacob Palmer:
    The skin under your eyes is starting to look like Hugh Hefner's ball sack.
    Cal Weaver:
    [looking at the mirror] It does.
    ‐ Submitted by Alejandro T (3 years ago)

  • Cal's Boss:
    [shrugs] Amy heard you crying in the bathroom.. We all thought it was cancer.
    Cal:
    Ohh... [rolling his eyes]
    Cal's Boss:
    Thank God man! [laughing loudly]
    Cal:
    Yeah, just my relationship.
    ‐ Submitted by Reem S (3 years ago)

  • Jacob:
    The war between the sexes is over. We won the second women started doing pole dancing for exercise.
    ‐ Submitted by Jose S (3 years ago)

  • Cal:
    Would you put on some clothes please?
    Jacob:
    Oh I'm sorry, is this bothering you?
    ‐ Submitted by Zohair K (3 years ago)

  • Emily Weaver:
    I don't know when you and I stopped being us.
    ‐ Submitted by Christine S (3 years ago)

  • Hannah:
    Take off your shirt.
    Jacob Palmer:
    Why?
    Hannah:
    Will you just take off your shirt?
    Jacob Palmer:
    [removes his shirt]
    Hannah:
    Seriously? It's like you're photoshopped!
    ‐ Submitted by Sydnee B (3 years ago)

  • Jacob Palmer:
    Be better than the gap.
    ‐ Submitted by Daniel T (3 years ago)

  • Emily Weaver:
    You know when I told you when I had to work late? I really went to go see the new twilight movie by myself, and it was so bad.
    ‐ Submitted by Chris P (3 years ago)

  • Bernie:
    Hey the ladies man guy. Got any tips of the trade?
    ‐ Submitted by Chris P (3 years ago)

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