1/2 star

Sometimes, a movie offends me so much I want to walk out.

It doesn’t happen very often. Sure, it happened to me and other viewers who braved the stomach-churning “Freddy Got Fingered.” But I never thought that an animated picture could be that disgusting.

The PG-13-rated “Adam Sandler's 8 Crazy Nights” is almost as revolting as its R-rated predecessor. And what makes it worse is that, because it’s animated, parents are taking their kids to this offal.

First, it begins with a meaningless, live-action feature about a bulldog that’s apparently owned by Adam Sandler. The short “A Day With the Meatball” isn’t very funny, but it didn’t make me want to get up and leave, either.

That didn’t happen until the animation began. The main character is Dave Stone (an animated Sandler), a vicious, drunken mess who enjoys ruining the holidays for everyone else in his home town. A judge sentences him to perform community service as a referee in a kids’ basketball league. He assists Whitey Duvall (Sandler’s voice, only higher and more squeaky), the butt of many town jokes. The elderly Whitey, who has two different size feet, lives with his sister Eleanore (Sandler’s voice, only even more high and squeaky. Davey ends up living with the two oldsters. He also falls for the mother of one of the kids in the basketball league.

On the surface, this sounds kind of warm-hearted, doesn’t it? Trust me, it’s not. The “jokes” are vile, tasteless, and the most mean-spirited I’ve heard in years. Do we need to see animated deer defecating? Do we need to see to hear a plethora of jokes about human body functions? Do we need to see someone bent on destroying others’ property and lives in order to redeem themselves? I think this was meant to be a sort of “A Christmas Carol” update, but it doesn’t come close to having one whit of holiday spirit in it anywhere.

This thing is just horrible, there’s no other word for it. I would have given it a zero, but I forced myself to stay through the credits so that I could hear the new rendition of Sandler’s “Hanukah Song,” which is enjoyable and funny.

But it isn’t worth sitting through this atrocity that’s really not worth any more of your time or my space.Running time: Eighty minutes.

Rated: PG-13 for foul language, bathroom humor and sexual talk.

Voice stars: Adam Sandler, Jackie Titone, Austin Stout, Jon Lovitz, Keaven Nealon and Rob Schneider.
Director: Seth Kearsley.
Screenwriter: Brooks Arthur, Allen Covert and Brad Isaacs, based on a story by Adam Sandler.