2 stars


What a strange, disappointing, technically disastrous movie.

Robert Rodriguez is one of my favorite directors. With “Sin City” and “Spy Kids,“ he has shown that he can direct almost anything.

“The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D" is based on idea that his young son had. It’s good enough to entertain the smallest fry in the audience, but adults will find it tedious. It looks thrown together, as though this was a project Rodriguez might have done on the side as a kind of hobby while he was making his higher-quality, serious films.

The movie certainly has an interesting, colorful opening sequence. Young Max (Caydon Boyd) tells the story of Shark boy (Taylor Lautner) who, left all alone as a tiny child, was raised by sharks. Sharkboy, Max claims, swam up to him one day because Sharkboy seemed lost. Then Lavagirl (Taylor Dooley), whose very touch could be deadly, appeared to seek Sharkboy’s help.

The class laughs at Max, who has kept a journal of his dreams. But Max’s mother keeps telling her son that he shouldn’t be dreaming all the time; that it’s time he faced reality.

Even the teacher (George Lopez) doesn’t help matters -- he encourages Max to try to make friends with the class bully, who of course continues to jeer at Max and takes his book.

But what’s this? Lavagirl and Sharkboy are real! And they appear in front of the class, taking Max with them to the planet Drool (an icky name for a planet, regardless of its rhyming opportunities). There they run into an evil clock-like fellow (Lopez) again who becomes their nemesis.

A couple of sequences are interesting because of word play. I liked the Train of Thought and the Stream of Consciousness on the daffy planet.

But the 3-D -- well, I’ve been spoiled by the superior effects at the IMAX. The cardboard red-and-blue-tinted glasses do an adequate job, I guess. But most of the film is in 3-D, which draws all the color out of the picture, leaving a strangely diluted-looking presentation.

Little kids won’t mind sitting through this. But I imagine even they will begin to fidget as much as their folks at some point. It’s imaginative, yes, but it’s far from cohesive.

The movie put me in mind of a weakened take on “The NeverEnding Story,” a beautiful film for kids that holds up beautiful despite its 20-plus years of age.

I’d rent the earlier film and forget about this 3-D dud.

Director: Robert Rodriguez.

Screenwriters: Robert and Racer Rodriguez.

Running time: Ninety minutes.

Rated: PG for crude humor.

Stars: Taylor Lautner, Taylor Dooley, Cayden Boyd, David Arquette, Kristin Davis, George Lopez, Sasha Pieterse, Rebel Rodriguez, Racer Rodriguez, Rocket Rodriguez and Rico Torres.