"Against the Ropes" by Boo Allen (*/5)
Rated PG-13, 100 minutes

"Against the Ropes" is a boxing movie. It’s not "Rocky," and it’s not even "Mrs. Rocky." But it’s based on a true story and features former lightweight champion Meg Ryan.
In "Ropes," the Adorable One plays one of the few women ever to prosper in the male-dominated sport. But, in a partially fact-based movie about a sport in which people get knocked down and get back up, only one nagging question keeps getting off the mat: what has happened to Meg Ryan?
Jackie Kallen’s semi-inspirational story takes a back-seat to the sub-text as to whether Meg Ryan’s career will get to its feet one more time. Or is the Megster down for the count?
It must be tough to be a high profile movie star whose wattage fades publicly. But scrutiny of Ryan’s filmography shows a grim record. Since 1998’s moderately successful "You’ve Got Mail," she has appeared in a series of duds: "Hanging Up," "Proof of Life," "Kate and Leopold" and, recently, the abysmal "In the Cut."
The declining results, and her daring, bare-all "In the Cut" role, may have led Ryan to acknowledge that her quirky, cutesy act is finally wearing thin with the public. Maybe that’s why, in "Ropes," she again takes a role against her usual type as a self-centered, pushy whiner.
In Meg’s defense, she’s not giving up but instead fighting back and heading in another direction. Too bad, however, she didn’t pick a project in which she had more help.
"Ropes" is not awful simply because Meg Ryan plays against type. More blame can be directed towards Cheryl Edward’s screenplay that stacks the deck against accepting Jackie Kallen as a real person. And director Charles S. Dutton, who also appears in the film, should receive the greatest reproach for his lunk-headed direction of a series of embarrassing sequences.
It would be easy to throw the editor, Eric L. Beason, into the pot for added abuse for the jarring juxtaposition of oddly related scenes. But, Beason might escape censure because he simply might not have had enough to work with.
That is, the film has long been rumored to be "in production," meaning filming had been completed, but no one, not the editor, director, or producer, could assemble the parts into anything remotely decent.
After briefly establishing Jackie’s love for boxing as a child, "Ropes" jumps ahead to what looks like 1980s Cleveland (although the real Kallen worked out of Detroit). She’s working at a dead-end job for a sports promoter because it’s the only thing that can bring her closest to boxing.
Several contrived and ridiculous expository scenes with rival promoter Tony LaRocca (Tony Shaloub) follow. Jackie then signs Luther Shaw (Omar Epps) as her first burgeoning fighter.
She sees him beat up a couple of strung-out junkies and declares to her potential trainer Felix (Dutton) that Shaw "reminds me of Marvin Hagler," a remark that will cause anyone with a grain of boxing knowledge to get thrown out of the theater for laughing like a hyena.
From there, the film follows a pretty predictable pattern. Shaw trains, wins fights, has a falling out with Jackie, and eventually focuses in on the Big Fight. In the interim, Jackie finds, loses, and finds herself again. It’s so inspirational.
The film builds momentum in its disintegration as Dutton closes with two painfully ridiculous scenes. Before the championship fight, Jackie has stayed away because of her troubles with Shaw. But after the first round, she walks down the aisle, through the ropes, and into his corner, whispering words of wisdom that bring him back into focus and on to victory.
The last scene is just simply embarrassing, one after the fight in which Jackie enters a private party for the victorious Shaw, and everyone stops and applauds her. What’s the sound of one hand slapping the director?
Almost none of the conversations in the film sound authentic, but more like a screenwriter trying to elicit a cheap emotional response, such as when one male pig tells Jackie: "Stick to what you do best. You’re a secretary."
Through it all, Meg remains alert, soft, beautiful, and, of course, perky. It’s enough to make you wonder whatever happened to Meg Ryan.