Movie Review Jackie K Cooper
“Alfie” (Paramount Pictures)

When Alfie turns to the camera and asks, “What’s It All About?”, the audience for this weak remake of the 1966 Michael Caine film is apt to answer, “Not much.” The original had a sort of sick sense of humor as you watched the cockney cad played by Caine move around London romancing a variety of women. In this updated version Alfie, played by Jude Law, moves around New York romancing a variety of women none of who makes much of an impression.

Law is a handsome enough young man but he is not a charismatic actor. The audience is left to wonder why Dorie (Jane Krakowski), Julie (Marisa Tomei), Liz (Susan Sarandon), Lonette (Nia Long) and Nikki (Sienna Miller) appear so enamored of him. Alfie doesn’t appear to be overly bright and his sexual prowess is never defined.

The movie is a series of episodes featuring Alfie with the various women. This episodic approach to the film destroys any semblance of continuity. In each case either he or they decide to move on leaving him to wonder “what’ it all about?”

There are a couple of side stories featuring Alfie’s friend Marlon (Omar Epps), and another featuring his employer Wing (Gedde Watanabe). Here too there is no attachment to these characters and they are only fleeting glimpses in an on moving story.

None of the actresses make a lasting impression with newcomer Sienna Miller coming off as annoying, Susan Sarandon coming off as slumming through a thankless and inconsequential part. Obviously she took the money and ran.

The film is rated R for profanity and sexual situations.

The original “Alfie” didn’t appeal to me, even though Michael Caine did create a totally cold and conniving character. This time out there appears to have been an effort to make Alfie more of a likeable lad but that just weakens an already weak story.

Jude Law is in a trillion movies between now and the end of the year. Let’s hope this misstep is not indicative of more blunders to come.

I scored “Alfie” a hey, Jude 3 out of 10.

JKC
www.jackiekcooper.com