Movie Review Jackie K Cooper
“Alone In the Dark” (Lion’s Gate Films)

Christian Slater, Tara Reid and Stephen Dorff star in the thriller (and I use the term loosely) “Alone In the Dark.” This is one of those movies that could give 2005 a bad name and we are only in the first two months. The plot is absurd, the acting tedious, and the thrills are missing in action.

Slater plays Edward Carnby, a paranormal investigator. He was raised in an orphanage in which he and many other children were used for scientific experiments. Somehow he escaped and is now trying to figure out what it was all about.

Meanwhile his girlfriend Aline (Reid) is working in a museum collecting various artifacts. Unknown to her the head of the museum, Professor Hudgens (Matthew Walker), is involved in the experiment that affected Carnby. Now he has brought a new monster into the match and it breaks loose in the museum.

None of this makes any sense and when the movie is over you can only scratch your head and wonder what in the devil happened. You have just wasted two hours of your life and have nothing to show for it – no entertainment, no nothing.

Poor Christian Slater. At one point in his career he was deemed destined for a bright future. He had roles in A-grade movies and presented true talent. But all of that is gone now and he is reduced to playing the hero in messes like this one.

Tara Reid, well she is a different story. No one ever predicted a bright future for her. She was the flavor of the week who managed to get roles in the “American Pie” series and that is where she belonged. But now even those vehicles seem closed to her. She is as passe’ as the pet rock phenomenon.

Finally there is Stephen Dorff, who plays a paranormal military type in this film. He, like Slater has some talent but it has been squandered in terrible movie roles that he has chosen. Now his pickings are slim and his destiny is this type of trash.

The movie is rated R for profanity and violence.

They don’t get much worse than this type of movie. And when even a “monster movie” is dull then you are really hitting rock bottom. If you choose to go see “Alone In the Dark” that is probably what you will be – alone in the dark. Chances are no one else will be in the theater with you.

I scored “Alone In the Dark” a solitary 2 out of 10.

JKC
www.jackiekcooper.com