Alone in the Dark Reviews

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Time Out
November 17, 2011
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J. R. Jones
Chicago Reader
January 5, 2007
Christian Slater and Stephen Dorff, the reigning princes of Hollywood schlock, join forces in this brain-dead adaptation of a popular video game.
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Time Out
June 24, 2006
Any chance for suspense is thwarted by gratuitous violence, heavy-metal-propelled action sequences and laughably flat dialogue between characters who are barely more developed than in the Atari version.
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Rex Reed
New York Observer
February 3, 2005
A violent and incomprehensible piece of gibberish.
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Chuck Wilson
L.A. Weekly
February 3, 2005
Maybe the only people who can explain this flick's nonsensical plotline are those who squandered their youth mastering the Atari video game on which it's based.
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Benjamin Strong
Village Voice
February 2, 2005
The garish editing and stilted, exposition-only dialogue induce the frisson of an America's Most Wanted re-enactment that pays unexpected, sidesplitting returns.
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Scott Brown
Entertainment Weekly
February 2, 2005
When the giant, intelligent bees of the future sift through the ashes of our civilization, they will find Alone in the Dark, and they will understand. It's so bad it's postmodern.
Full Review | Original Score: F
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Ann Hornaday
Washington Post
January 28, 2005
Veers tantalizingly close to being one of those movies that is so bad it's good, but in the end, it's so bad it's just ... bad.
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Peter Howell
Toronto Star
January 28, 2005
Alone in the Dark is so awful, anyone who spends 10 bucks seeing it ought to get 11 bucks change and a written apology from the director and cast.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
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Tom Keogh
Seattle Times
January 28, 2005
Dreadful.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
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Peter Hartlaub
San Francisco Chronicle
January 28, 2005
A film so mind-blowingly horrible that it teeters on the edge of cinematic immortality.
Full Review | Original Score: 0/4
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David Hiltbrand
Philadelphia Inquirer
January 28, 2005
Never trust a movie that opens with a written introduction scrolling by that's longer than the collected works of Tom Clancy.
| Original Score: 1/4
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Roger Moore
Orlando Sentinel
January 28, 2005
Too stupid to watch, too loud to nap through, Alone in the Dark shows just how tenuous Plan Nine From Outer Space's hold on that 'worst movie ever' title really is.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5
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Lisa Rose
Newark Star-Ledger
January 28, 2005
Ultra-violent, hyper-mindless and bruisingly loud, Alone in the Dark makes its video game predecessors look like Masterpiece Theater.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
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Russell Scott Smith
New York Post
January 28, 2005
It doesn't even qualify as 'so bad it's good,' although by that standard it does have its moments.
| Original Score: 0/4
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Jack Mathews
New York Daily News
January 28, 2005
Alone in the Dark is no better than whatever you might pick up while wearing a blindfold at Blockbuster, even if you happen to reach into a trash can.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
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Bruce Westbrook
Houston Chronicle
January 28, 2005
Frighteningly bad cinema is the only thing scary about Alone in the Dark, which gives video-game movies an even worse name, if that's possible.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
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John Monaghan
Detroit Free Press
January 28, 2005
It's tempting to call Alone in the Dark one of those movies so bad that it's almost good. But that might send the wrong signal to Hollywood.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
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Michael Booth
Denver Post
January 28, 2005
Quite possibly one of the worst movies of the decade.
Full Review | Original Score: 0/4
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Janice Page
Boston Globe
January 28, 2005
Alone in the Dark presents splatter fans with garden-variety gore, and gives action-horror fans loud, unscary special effects rather than genuine suspense or bang.
Full Review | Original Score: .5/4
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Kevin Thomas
Los Angeles Times
January 27, 2005
As silly as it is stylish.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/5
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Bill Muller
Arizona Republic
January 27, 2005
A hokey, recycled collection of mumbo-jumbo that unabashedly steals from a multitude of other horror films.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5
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Desson Thomson
Washington Post
January 27, 2005
This is definitely for people who 1) love the video game, 2) think Slater and Dorff are eminently watchable, no matter what bad flick they're in and 3) are wearing industrial-strength ear plugs.
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Justin Chang
Variety
January 27, 2005
Alone in the Dark offers ample evidence that House of the Dead helmer Uwe Boll should put down his joystick -- quickly, before anyone else gets hurt.
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Stephen Holden
New York Times
January 27, 2005
This horror film, spun off from an old Atari video game, is so inept on every level, you wonder why the distributor didn't release it straight to video, or better, toss it directly into the trash.
Full Review | Original Score: 0/5
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Colin Covert
Minneapolis Star Tribune
January 27, 2005
If you took the 100 worst ideas ever conceived for a science-fiction film, rattled them around in a Lotto tumbler and spilled them out onto the screen at random, you could not produce a more asinine hodgepodge than Alone in the Dark.
Full Review | Original Score: 0/4
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Philip Wuntch
Dallas Morning News
January 27, 2005
If nothing else, Alone in the Dark proves that it's possible to 'dumb down' a video game.
Full Review | Original Score: F
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Michael Rechtshaffen
Hollywood Reporter
January 27, 2005
As video game adaptations go, even Pong: The Movie would have a lot more personality.
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Michael Wilmington
Chicago Tribune
January 27, 2005
There are some stupid films that rock, if you turn your brain off and enjoy them. Alone in the Dark isn't one of these, though it is very stupid.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
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Bob Townsend
Atlanta Journal-Constitution
January 27, 2005
Alone in the Dark co-stars perpetual party-girl Tara Reid as an archeologist. That alone should give you some clue as to how bad this movie is.
Full Review | Original Score: D-