Anaconda Reviews

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Super Reviewer
½ December 26, 2010
Even if you manage to overlook how idiotic and laughable all that (highly) inaccurate information about anacondas is, it is still hard to ignore the nonsensical plot, the embarrassing dialogue, the really atrocious special effects and the terrible acting from everyone on screen.
blkbomb
Super Reviewer
May 13, 2011
Paul Serone: They strike, wrap around you. Hold you tighter than your true love. And you get the privilege, of hearing your bones break before the power of embrace causes your veins to explode. 

"When You Can't Breath, You Can't Scream"

Anaconda is another variation on the creature feature film. This one is very much living in the shadows of Jaws, and that was by design. It's trying to use that formula, but with a killer Anaconda. None of this works obviously as we watch a terrible looking Anaconda, a bunch of big name actors that aren't trying, and have to listen to the brainless dialogue and actions of these characters.

A group of filmmakers are on their way to try to find a hidden tribe in the Amazon. On their way, they find a broken down boat with a man on it, who they take aboard. He claims to have seen the tribe they are looking for and promises to guide them to the tribe. Well, actually he's a snake catcher and is trying to find a colossal sized snake. That he does and soon everyone on the boats life is in danger, as a gigantic Anaconda is preying on them.

As far as creature feature films go, this could have actually been a lot worse. There's a little fun to be had in all of the ridiculousness, but so little it doesn't make this worth a watch. I didn't enjoy it, but for hardcore fans of the genre, it may be worth a look. 
TheDudeLebowski65
Super Reviewer
September 12, 2011
Anaconda is a mediocre film and echoes creature films of the 1970's such as Jaws, Piranha and Grizzly. Except this time around it's a giant Anaconda wreaking havoc. The film had the potential of being so much better, and it has plenty of flaws. One thing is the special effects, which look cheap and the other is the bad acting, which ruin the film. The characters aren't that well developed so you don't care who gets eaten or not. Despite its mediocrity, the film manages to be fun at times, but it's not great. Don't watch this film expecting great things to come out of it, you'll be disappointed. This film was a theatrical B movie and it shows. The film had potential of being much better, and it could have been quite a memorable monster film, but it's quite forgettable. The story could have been reworked to make it better, but it all feels rushed, like the filmmakers didn't care about the end result. For horror fans that enjoy mediocre B movie style horror films, then check this one out, but for fans who love killer creature films with a little more substance, pass up on this. As a whole, Anaconda is wasted opportunity, one that is a disappointing film. I didn't really care for the films direction, and you end pretty bored halfway through the film, even with all the snake chaos going around. This was an effort by a director who simply didn't know how to create an effectively chilling creature. Some directors have brilliantly pulled it off, but not Luis Llosa, whose 40 foot Anaconda really does look fake plus add to that a cast that can't act, and you have a horror film that is forgettable, and not worth your time.
Super Reviewer
½ June 17, 2011
Saw this film when it first came out and I enjoyed back then I must admit but watching it now it hasn't held up too well. First off the cast is quite an odd bunch and pretty mismatched even for a motley crew of unique adventurers, Lopez and Ice Cube are totally miscast and out of place, Voight looks the part but goes completely overboard with his performance going from good n hammy to a downright laughable cad and loses all his presence. Wilson is also miscast but its odd to see him in basically a role as monster fodder and merely a background character, the only two that fit the film for me are Stoltz and Hyde who are both decent as your typical jungle hunter/explorer types.

The film starts off OK and you do get a feel of impending doom with nice eerie murky surface water shots and some decent character building but once the snake has been fully exposed and the eating really kicks off the cracks really show. The cgi now is pretty bad and doesn't match against the live action a tall, its very obvious and takes a HUGE amount of fun from the film, the sets are clearly sets, the action is really daft and it is so so formulaic and cliched. There are some good model heads for the anaconda and one or two in-genius ideas for cam angles and snake shots but this really looks like lame rubber monster hokum these days, its not made any better by the fact they made the anaconda roar and scream.
Super Reviewer
½ June 24, 2010
Wow this movie sucks. I guess I was entertained at parts but I was mostly just bored. It almost a so bad it's good kind of movie that you just laugh at. C-
Super Reviewer
½ March 25, 2007
A surprisingly star studded cast chew scenery like it's going out of style.
Which isn't necessary a bad thing.
Super Reviewer
½ June 19, 2007
Sounds like a very cheesey B movie but actually it's a pretty good creature feature. Jon Voight puts in a great performance and the SFX are very good. Overall a cool enjoyable film.
Super Reviewer
May 31, 2007
It's a stupid B-Movie with enough quality to fly by, and enough camp charm to get away with such cinematic crimes. The cast play it straight, apart from Voight. I'm pretty sure he was drunk during the shooting, coming out with an inexplicable accent and a look reminiscent of Hannibal Lecter. It's ridiculous fun, with hokey CGI and animatronics. Cube and Hyde manage some, at times, adorable dialogue. Voight's presence also unites the rest of the cast, and each character gets their own heroic captain moment. Fun filled and just plain bad. I loved it.
Super Reviewer
½ January 18, 2010
Pretty original, and definately exciting!
Super Reviewer
October 15, 2009
So you can tell the snakes are fake. They still look cool and this is still a good movie. Oh, and Jennifer Lopez's butt.
Super Reviewer
½ September 7, 2009
Highly entertaining but for all the wrong reasons. It's a bit of fun I guess, it was never going to win any awards and never takes itself seriously. It's definatly in 'So bad its good' terrotory!
Super Reviewer
½ June 1, 2009
dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb STUPID dumb dumb.... love ya Owen
Super Reviewer
July 25, 2006
I thought the bulk of the movie was relly good with good tension building scenes and a good cast. However, the beginning was a bit slow and the ending was LAME! It was really awful. I did like the part when we first saw the anaconda's face. That was funny.
Super Reviewer
June 11, 2008
Ridiculous...and all the better for it
DragonEyeMorrison
Super Reviewer
January 7, 2008
No....just no.
deano
Super Reviewer
½ November 23, 2006
Amazing! What a shocking thriller of a forty-foot killer snake!
Super Reviewer
February 20, 2007
It's not exciting enough to be a good thriller, and not cheesy enough to be a camp classic. It just sort of exists, and it's not fun to watch.
Super Reviewer
½ June 24, 2007
Fun.
Super Reviewer
½ June 19, 2007
Creepy sweaty cruise down the jungle river, straight into the dangerous grips of the Anaconda! Good monster movie. The CGI effects were obvious and unfortunately detracted from the overall inventive ways the big snake could eat each of the characters. Good kills though! Jennifer Lopez was the beauty of the film and teamed up with others to fight (or get eaten by) the Giant Anaconda. Jon Voight made a great snake-hunting villain. His eating scene was go good, the snake spit him out and ate him again! Great fun and action which doesn't take itself too seriously. It feels a bit low-budget.
Super Reviewer
May 21, 2007
pretty damn creepy
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