And, There You Are Reviews

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½ January 5, 2013
I've seen enough of these independent gay films to know that when the writer and/or director and/or producer of any of these films is also the film's star just leave it ALONE. If anyone were talented enough to write/direct/produce and star in their own film they wouldn't be making independent films in the first place. The main problem with this rambling mess of a movie is watching Roy Kirkland's old creeper character claim he "isn't gay" but then flame up all over the screen and throw himself at these "straight" men is about as enjoyable to watch as a harp seal being clubbed to death.

Ray Dalton unloads to his therapist about each straight man problem he has had in the last few weeks. We could have been given a cleverly layered set of short vignettes but oh no, instead we are subjected to an excruciatingly extended and hilariously clumsy retelling of each failed relationship.

Had these individual stories been presented with the slightest bit of insight, humor or intelligence, the movie MIGHT have had a chance at redemption despite the writer's inept and completely amateur performance.

The men he hooks up with put in some enjoyable performances but without any gratuitous nudity to speak of even they aren't reason enough to rent this low budget hot mess.

Speaking of hot messes, in case you ARE dumb enough not to believe me and rent this crap anyway, there is ONE hilarious moment on this DVD but it's not in the movie, it's the BONUS music video at the end of the movie's theme song written and sung by no other than Kirkland himself in a fabulous pirate shirt with tons of slow-mo and soft focus... yer gonna LOVE it!

Writing F
Directing F
Cinematography D
Costumes B
Makeup n/a
Special Effects n/a
Music/Soundtrack F

Final Grade F
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