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Argento's Dracula 3D (2013)

tomatometer

11

Average Rating: 3/10
Reviews Counted: 28
Fresh: 3 | Rotten: 25

Schlocky and gross but far from bad enough to be good, Argento's Dracula 3D bites and sucks in all the wrong ways.

0

Average Rating: 3/10
Critic Reviews: 6
Fresh: 0 | Rotten: 6

Schlocky and gross but far from bad enough to be good, Argento's Dracula 3D bites and sucks in all the wrong ways.

audience

17

liked it
Average Rating: 2.1/5
User Ratings: 1,188

My Rating

Movie Info

Horror master Dario Argento returns with a bloody, luridly creepy 3D version of the classic vampire tale, drenched in gore and sex. An unsuspecting Englishman arrives in Transylvania, lured by a job with a local nobleman. But the undead Count Dracula's real target is the man's innocent young wife. Featuring the iconic Rutger Hauer as vampire hunter Van Helsing and the inimitable Asia Argento (the director's own daughter) as a local all-too-eager to fall under the Count's sway. (c) IFC Midnight

$3.1k

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All Critics (28) | Top Critics (6) | Fresh (3) | Rotten (25)

When insects are the best thing in your movie, it's probably time to retire.

October 3, 2013 Full Review Source: New York Times
New York Times
Top Critic IconTop Critic

Argento ... brings enough moments of kinky madness to his not-great "Dracula" to indicate there may yet be greatness lurking within him. Here's hoping.

October 3, 2013 Full Review Source: Los Angeles Times
Los Angeles Times
Top Critic IconTop Critic

Some viewers will get unintended jollies from a gigantic, rampaging grasshopper; others, from the director's queasy-making penchant for unclothing his exhibitionist daughter Asia.

October 1, 2013 Full Review Source: Time Out New York
Time Out New York
Top Critic IconTop Critic

Unfortunately, Argento never acknowledges he's in on the joke, nor is the film quite ridiculous enough for us to coast enjoyably on derision.

October 1, 2013 Full Review Source: Village Voice
Village Voice
Top Critic IconTop Critic

Director Argento half-heartedly mixes schlocky 3D f/x with one-dimensional characters for a near-two-hour joke that ought to have been funnier.

September 30, 2013 Full Review Source: Variety
Variety
Top Critic IconTop Critic

Utterly lacking in imagination or suspense, this inane effort is strictly for hardcore Argento cultists.

September 30, 2013 Full Review Source: Hollywood Reporter
Hollywood Reporter
Top Critic IconTop Critic

...the film should be retitled "Dario Argento's Whatever Popped into My Head."

January 29, 2014 Full Review Source: Cinefantastique
Cinefantastique

Dario Argento is much better than this. Hell, Asia Argento is much better than this.

December 16, 2013 Full Review Source: Cinema Crazed
Cinema Crazed

It manages, barely, to be stupid enough at enough points to be fun to watch.

October 24, 2013 Full Review Source: Antagony & Ecstasy
Antagony & Ecstasy

In the grand scheme of Argento's films, Dracula will never be more than a footnote...But fans of horror all'Italia won't want to miss it.

October 14, 2013 Full Review Source: Film Journal International
Film Journal International

Through 3D glasses too darkly, the extra dimension is not taken advantage of -- and in fact appears detrimental.

October 6, 2013 Full Review Source: ReelTalk Movie Reviews
ReelTalk Movie Reviews

John Carpenter once called (Argento) his greatest influence. After this, he is surely his biggest disappointment.

October 6, 2013 Full Review Source: PopMatters
PopMatters

... perfect for a living room full of inebriated hecklers to have their way with it... you'll never look at a praying mantis the same way ever again.

October 6, 2013 Full Review Source: MovieCrypt.com
MovieCrypt.com

With Dracula 3D, we finally know which of the great '70s genre filmmakers have fallen the hardest, and the answer is Dario Argento.

October 4, 2013 Full Review Source: The Playlist
The Playlist

Argento's Dracula 3D is an absolute travesty of a film completely devoid of creativity or imagination. It's like taking your favorite folklore, stripping it of everything you love, making it as dull as possible, and then lighting it on fire.

October 4, 2013 Full Review Source: Examiner.com
Examiner.com

goes completely bonkers by taking the powers of Dracula to a ridiculous level

October 4, 2013 Full Review Source: 7M Pictures
7M Pictures

As he did with his adaptation of "Phantom of the Opera," Argento offers up a version that plays like a choppy condensation based on hazy memories of the book, then augments it with nudity and gore.

October 4, 2013 Full Review Source: RogerEbert.com
RogerEbert.com

From the opening credit sequence using a ridiculous score that sounds more at home in a B-sci-fi film from the 50s to the special effects that were done by the lowest bidder, you know you're going to be in store for something that's sub-par.

October 3, 2013 Full Review Source: Examiner.com
Examiner.com

It's a stain on Dracula's good name, and a waste of time for even those looking for the cheapest of vampiric thrills.

October 3, 2013 Full Review Source: The Dissolve
The Dissolve

A flaccid retelling of Bram Stoker's immortal tale of monstrous obsession, reduced here to a filmed community theater rehearsal with Full Sail freshman visual effects.

October 3, 2013 Full Review Source: Blu-ray.com
Blu-ray.com

Argento strands his actors in a variety of crummy master shots and close-ups that accentuate their every exaggerated gesture and line-reading.

October 3, 2013 Full Review Source: AV Club
AV Club

Argento's reputation as a horror maestro is not enhanced with this flabby and flailing movie.

September 30, 2013 Full Review Source: Screen International
Screen International

Audience Reviews for Argento's Dracula 3D

Dario Argento is one of the most electrifying directors in horror. Over the course of his career, he has made some stunning pictures that have remained genre classics. His style is unique, and he managed to bring such a creepy tone and atmosphere to his films that have made him standout among others in the genre. However in the last decade, he started to lose his touch, and that could be said about his latest directorial effort, Dracula 3D, which has the look of a low-budget, straight to DVD feature. That's not saying much. This is a painful movie to watch, and it is also a waste of a pretty good cast. Thomas Kretschmann is usually a pretty actor, and he's made some great films, however in the role of Dracula, he tries to elevate the lacking material to no avail. Rutger Hauer who I find to be fairly hit and miss depending on the part just doesn't cut it. Now the thing has bugged many viewers about this film is the laughable CGI. The effects are cheaply done and it's clear that there was no effort put into making that looks good. This effort is just lazy, and I think it's a great shame because Dario Argento was once a great director. I can't believe the man who directed Suspiria, Phenomena, Opera and Deep Red is the same guy that directed this crap. Dracula could have been a very good movie, if the script would have been polished, the budget was bigger, to at least make the effects look good, instead of making them look cheap. If you're a diehard Dario Argento fan like I am, you'll be very disappointed with what's displayed on-screen. I think that this is one of the biggest disappointments that Dario Argento has directed, and the only thing that this movie proves is that this once great director has lost his touch, and with each film that he directs nowadays, the quality suffers and he makes movies that don't even come close to what he used to make in heyday.
September 17, 2013
TheDudeLebowski65
Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski

Super Reviewer

Last year in my "Worst of 2012" blog I mentioned Dracula 3D, but only wrote a single sentence on it. So why review it now? Well my local (evil) movie theater is showing it and somebody has to write something on this unknown "horror". Just like "Spiders 3D" and "Texas Chainsaw 3D" this yet again marks another poor utilization of 3D.

Dracula 3D started with a screen text that claim its "significantly important". Yes, because any movie that has Dracula turning into a wolf, an owl, dozen of flies, and giant praying mantis (picture at the end) without explanation is very "important". This is the kind of "significant" horror film that only amateur Dario Argento could make...wait. According to his resume Argento is responsible for the original "Dawn of the Dead" and "Suspiria" which are both consider horror classics. Huh? Guess that makes this failure even more embarrassing given the director is a veteran of the film industry and the horror genre.

So in terms of plot it does nothing new with the familiar Dracula mythos which at this point has been done death. It's about as interesting as watching a snail paint a wall and then watching it dry. It's generic storytelling at it most dull made even worse in eye drowsy 3D! For starter things are too bright! The lightning makes it difficult to see anything with 3D glasses. It falls victim to using the usual gimmicks of 3D that annoy us. What makes matter worse is the fact that director Argento made it impossible at times for the viewer to focus on a scene when the shot itself lacks focus.

Another thing is the nudity serves no purpose. You can't enjoy the nudity either in 3D for the director has filmed his daughter naked. I haven't felt this wrong seeing a naked woman since "Butterfly" (1981) and I hated the living essence of that film. Though to Dracula 3D credit, it's nowhere as awful as "Butterfly" (1981). Some highlight includes Dracula killing people with his finger nails, rare cheesy acting, and the giant praying mantis. Also, in what novel does Dracula has the ability to teleport, mind control, and also telekinesis. The "action" scenes that last seconds (the longest almost reaching 10) here are more poorly choreograph than a Steven Seagal fight scene.

The acting is all around awful. The 3D is useless making it you more sleepy than invested. This puts no creativity on a tire story that has been told dozens of better times. The worst offender being it's the worst kind of bad movie; the ones feel like a chore to finish.
[IMG]https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/483813_356361034480831_1884420032_n.jpg[/IMG]
September 17, 2013
Cinema-Maniac
Caesar Mendez

Super Reviewer

Released in 3D in Italian cinemas, Argento's 'Dracula' is quietly hitting DVD and Blu-Ray shelves in most other parts of the world. Closely following the plot of the novel, Jonathan Harker (Ugalde), is summoned to the home of Count Dracula (Kretschmann) to oversee a real estate transaction. Once there he is attacked by the Count and a horny, and exceptionally busty, female vampire (the novel had three but I guess the budget didn't stretch that far). Harker's wife Mina (Gastini), it turns out, is the reincarnation of a former lover of Dracula. To combat all this blood-sucking madness, renowned vampire hunter Van Helsing (Hauer) must employ his unique skills.
Some directors, especially those involved in the horror genre, just don't age well, producing one "Oh Granddad!" moment after another. There's none more guilty of this than Argento. I can't think of another film-maker whose career provides such contrasting quality from his early work to his recent turkeys. His last two films ('Mother of Tears' and 'Giallo') scaled new levels of ineptitude yet somehow he's managed to reach yet another nadir with his latest. Argento has sadly become a director whose work only a mater suspiriorum could love.

The story stays relatively faithful to the original Stoker text but, on practically every level, this is an absolute travesty. Shot on the cheapest looking digital format and employing matte paintings that seem to have been composed by a child, visually the film resembles those BBC children's productions from the seventies, but with neither the charm nor the excuses of that era. The CG on display here would look dated in an early nineties PC game, never mind a 2013 release. The terrible dialogue, combined with atrocious dubbing, makes competent actors like Hauer and Kretschmann look like idiots.
It pains me to slate a once great talent, the man who gave us nightmares with genre classics like 'Suspiria' and 'Profondo Rosso', but please Dario, retire. Oh Granddad!
September 17, 2013
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The Movie Waffler

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