Argento's Dracula 3D Reviews

I really hate that I'm making this pun, but Dracula 3D doesn't suck any blood - it just sucks.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/10

From the opening credit sequence using a ridiculous score that sounds more at home in a B-sci-fi film from the 50s to the special effects that were done by the lowest bidder, you know you're going to be in store for something that's sub-par.

Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4

Unfortunately, Argento never acknowledges he's in on the joke, nor is the film quite ridiculous enough for us to coast enjoyably on derision.

Full Review

Argento's intention is actually a little unclear but in Dracula he has made a film that will undoubtedly find an audience, but the audience will almost certainly be one that enjoys to laugh at it rather than take it at all seriously.

Full Review | Original Score: 1/5

Argento's Dracula 3D is an absolute travesty of a film completely devoid of creativity or imagination. It's like taking your favorite folklore, stripping it of everything you love, making it as dull as possible, and then lighting it on fire.

Full Review | Original Score: 3/10

Argento doesn't play by conventional rules, including nude scenes for his own daughter in amongst the provocatively kitsch horror moments and ludicrous story elements.

Full Review | Original Score: D+

The film is dispiriting because there's virtually no sign of Dario Argento in it, nor of any novel motivation to mount yet another version of an oft-told tale.

Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4

Argento strands his actors in a variety of crummy master shots and close-ups that accentuate their every exaggerated gesture and line-reading.

Full Review | Original Score: D

This would be laughable if it were the first film by a Hollywood producer's nephew. As the twenty-first feature by a 71-year-old genre veteran, it's embarrassing.

Full Review | Original Score: F

John Carpenter once called (Argento) his greatest influence. After this, he is surely his biggest disappointment.

Full Review | Original Score: 1/5

A flaccid retelling of Bram Stoker's immortal tale of monstrous obsession, reduced here to a filmed community theater rehearsal with Full Sail freshman visual effects.

Full Review | Original Score: D

As he did with his adaptation of "Phantom of the Opera," Argento offers up a version that plays like a choppy condensation based on hazy memories of the book, then augments it with nudity and gore.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/4

With Dracula 3D, we finally know which of the great '70s genre filmmakers have fallen the hardest, and the answer is Dario Argento.

Full Review | Original Score: D-

Through 3D glasses too darkly, the extra dimension is not taken advantage of -- and in fact appears detrimental.

Full Review

Argento ... brings enough moments of kinky madness to his not-great "Dracula" to indicate there may yet be greatness lurking within him. Here's hoping.

Full Review | Original Score: 2.5/5

Some viewers will get unintended jollies from a gigantic, rampaging grasshopper; others, from the director's queasy-making penchant for unclothing his exhibitionist daughter Asia.

Full Review | Original Score: 1/5

It's a stain on Dracula's good name, and a waste of time for even those looking for the cheapest of vampiric thrills.

Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/5

Director Argento half-heartedly mixes schlocky 3D f/x with one-dimensional characters for a near-two-hour joke that ought to have been funnier.

Full Review

When insects are the best thing in your movie, it's probably time to retire.

Full Review | Original Score: 1/5

| Original Score: C