starring Ethan Hawke, Laurence Fishburne and Maria Bello; directed by Jean-FranÁois Richet

Jean-FranÁois Richet ensures his action remake assaults your senses to the point of senselessness with sharp twists, warped humor and gunshot gore galore.

Assault On Precinct 13 is the Tad Hamilton of 2005. What should be a forgettable genre release turns into a surprisingly watchable guilty pleasure sure to hold your smile longer than any Oscar bait could ever hope for.

Ethan Hawke and Laurence Fishburne are charismatic playing the larger-than-life leads while the rest of the ensemble has plenty to work with in terms of a memorably deranged body count and token fillers.

What begins as the farewell New Year's Eve party at the dilapidated Precinct 13 is about to take a Hollywood turn for the worst. When a seemingly maximum security bus transporting one Marion Bishop, apparent cop killer and unhinged gangleader and a bunch of violent do-no-gooders, turns over in a horrific snowstorm, you guess it. The only place for our poor villains to shack up is nearby Precinct 13, despite the fact it's closing down for good because, among other things, none of the alarms actually work.

If you haven't figured it out by the title, next thing we know a scary infiltration is on our hands and lots of deaths are to be had with plenty of close-ups of the fatal bullet holes.

The potpourri roster of employees is no less awesome than it is implausible. Ethan Hawke is Jake Roenick, a moody, self-conscious anti-hero whose bad decisions led to the death of his team, a guilt-ridden conscience and denial-driven sessions with a mega-hot psychiatrist by the name of Dr. Alex Sabian (Maria Bello).

Of course, the storm snows in the cure doctor, especially because Jake loves to flirt with her, and even better because it allows for an awesome role-reversal when calm, rational, authoritative doc becomes whimpering pussycat, begging for Jake's assistance and uh, affections.

Then there is the wise and by-the-books old-timer Jasper O'Shea (who better than Brian Dennehy?) who'll have none of the uniting-to-come with any criminal scum.

My personal favourite is Iris "The Secretary" Ferry (Drea de Matteo), a sexaholic receptionist copper who looks great in short skirts when operating any firearm and is apparently having a hard time with her New Year's resolution to stop smoking. Hundreds of invaders with death on their minds tends to create a stressful environment.

Assault On Precinct 13 works so well because it never loses sight of the fact that is a situational thriller.

The story has its kinks, for sure, and the set-up is gargantuan-sized ludicrous but once the action begins, you'll be on the edge of your seat waiting to find out what happens next.

What's especially nice is that major studios actually allow the textured villains to taste the bloodier dark side with scruple-free kills of shocking targets. That's right, like a good horror movie, no one is really safe. In fact the producers are always looking for that opportune moment to give you the gut-punch with a hair-raising twist.

It may be cheesy at times but Assault On Precinct 13 is a sensory blast.

Rating: 4 stars out of 5

Mike Sage, a regular contributor to the www.rottentomatoes.com movie site, reviews films each Wednesday. Feedback and suggestions can be sent to him at sagemichael@hotmail.com