Batman Returns Quotes

The top Batman Returns quotes selected by the Rotten Tomatoes community. Login to submit a quote!

    1. Catwoman/Selina Kyle: Life's a bitch. So am I.
    – Submitted by Jimmy G (2 months ago)
    1. The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: Why is there always someone who brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech?
    – Submitted by Joe N (13 months ago)
    1. Max Shreck: What did curiosity do to the cat?
    – Submitted by Joe N (13 months ago)
    1. The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: You've gotta admit, I've played this stinking city, like a harp from hell!
    – Submitted by Matthew D (16 months ago)
    1. The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: I saw her first, got to fly.
    – Submitted by Matthew D (16 months ago)
    1. Max Shreck: Bruce Wayne, what are doing dressed up as Batman?
    2. Catwoman/Selina Kyle: He is Batman, you idiot!
    – Submitted by Jimmy G (21 months ago)
    1. Catwoman/Selina Kyle: I am Catwoman, hear me roar.
    – Submitted by Jimmy G (21 months ago)
    1. The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: It's time... These are the names of the first born sons of Gotham City, just like I was. And just like me, a terrible fate awaits them. Tonight, while their parents party, they'll be sleeping in their safe cribs, their soft beds. And we will catch them, carry them into the sewer and toss them into a deep, dark watery grave!
    2. Fat Clown: Um, Penguin? I mean, killing sleeping babies... isn't that a little...
    3. The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: [shoots Fat Clown] No, it's a LOT! [kicks him into water]
    – Submitted by Michael D (22 months ago)
    1. Volunteer Bimbo: Oh, Mr. Cobblepot... You're the best role model a young person could have.
    2. The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: And you are the best young person a role model could have!
    – Submitted by Alan Torres Dwyer B (22 months ago)
    1. The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: It's time... These are the names of the first born sons of Gotham City, just like I was. And just like me, a terrible fate awaits them. Tonight, while their parents party, they'll be sleeping in their safe cribs, their soft beds. And we will catch them, carry them into the sewer and toss them into a deep, dark watery grave!
    2. Fat Clown: Umm, Penguin? I mean... killing sleeping children. Isn't that a little...
    3. The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: [shoots Fat Clown and kicks him into the water]
    – Submitted by Alan Torres Dwyer B (22 months ago)
    1. Batman / Bruce Wayne: Merry Christmas, Alfred. And good Will toward men...and women.
    – Submitted by Vinnie F (22 months ago)
    1. Catwoman/Selina Kyle: Always waiting for some Batman to save you.
    – Submitted by Crazzy K (23 months ago)
    1. Catwoman/Selina Kyle: Honey I'm home! Oh I forgot, I'm not married.
    – Submitted by Crazzy K (23 months ago)
    1. Catwoman/Selina Kyle: All good girls go to heaven.
    – Submitted by Crazzy K (23 months ago)
    1. The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: I believe the word you're looking for is, AHHHHHHHhhhh! [echoes]
    – Submitted by Nik M (23 months ago)
    1. Batman / Bruce Wayne: You know, mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.
    2. Catwoman/Selina Kyle: But a kiss can be even deadlier... if you mean it.
    – Submitted by Karen M (2 years ago)
    1. Max Shreck: [looking at the umbrella] What's that for, to hypnotize me?
    2. The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: No, just to give you a splitting headache.
    – Submitted by Matthew D (2 years ago)
    1. Max Shreck: Why are you dressed up as Batman?
    2. Catwoman/Selina Kyle: That's because he is Batman you moron!
    – Submitted by Baurushan J (2 years ago)
    1. Alfred Pennyworth: Well come what may. Merry Christmas, Mr. Wayne.
    2. Batman / Bruce Wayne: Merry Christmas, Alfred. Good will towards men...and women.
    – Submitted by John P (2 years ago)
    1. Catwoman/Selina Kyle: Life's a bitch, now so am I. *smirks*
    – Submitted by Directors C (2 years ago)
    1. Max Shreck: Imagine... A place for a new mayor in Gotham, and Oswald Cobblepot filling the void...
    2. The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: [looks at hot chick] I'd like to fill HER void!
    – Submitted by Alan Torres Dwyer B (2 years ago)
    1. The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: Why is their always someone who brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech?
    – Submitted by Rocky F (2 years ago)
    1. The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: [while being bombarded by food] Why is their always someone who brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech?
    – Submitted by Filipe M (2 years ago)
    1. Catwoman/Selina Kyle: You poor guys. Always confusing your pistols with your privates.
    – Submitted by Jozef H (2 years ago)
    1. Max Shreck: Selina? Selina Kyle, you're fired! And Bruce Wayne, why are you dressed up like Batman?
    2. Catwoman/Selina Kyle: Because he is Batman, you moron!
    – Submitted by Damian O (2 years ago)
    1. Max Shreck: Bottom line: if she tries to blackmail me, I'll drop her out a higher window. Mean time, I got better fish to fry.
    – Submitted by Damian O (2 years ago)
    1. Max Shreck: You're not only saving a life, you're--
    2. Batman / Bruce Wayne: Shut up, you're going to jail.
    – Submitted by Tobias A (2 years ago)
    1. Batman / Bruce Wayne: Eat floor, high fiber.
    – Submitted by Thomas P (2 years ago)
    1. The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: You're just jealous because I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask!
    – Submitted by Jj T (2 years ago)
    1. 1st Terrifying Clown: Hey penguin!
    2. The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: I am not penguin anymore, my name is Oswald Cobblepot.
    3. 1st Terrifying Clown: Oswald, somebody came to see you.
    – Submitted by Javis C (2 years ago)
    1. Batman / Bruce Wayne: Things change!
    – Submitted by Trenton R (3 years ago)
    1. Catwoman/Selina Kyle: Please. I wouldn't touch you to scratch you.
    – Submitted by Richard L (3 years ago)
    1. The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: You didn't invite me, so I crashed!
    – Submitted by Richard L (3 years ago)
    1. Catwoman/Selina Kyle: You poor guys. Always confusing your pistols with your privates.
    – Submitted by Richard L (3 years ago)
    1. Catwoman/Selina Kyle: I am Catwoman. Hear me roar.
    – Submitted by James C (3 years ago)
    1. Catwoman/Selina Kyle: Honey, I'm home! Oh, I forgot. I'm not married.
    – Submitted by Richard L (3 years ago)
    1. Batman / Bruce Wayne: You know, mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.
    2. Catwoman/Selina Kyle: But a kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it.
    – Submitted by Richard L (3 years ago)

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