Long, loud and pedestrian, this drama only gets exciting in its closing minutes.
| Original Score: 2.0/5
An assault on reason, logic and complex characterisation, but in an enjoyable way, like a slightly less camp dramatisation of the Village People's finest ship-based sing-song.
Just like the board game, assuming the board game cost $200 million and was dumb.
| Original Score: 2/5
We should celebrate the explicit nature, the unabashed and unapologetic chutzpah of a film that dares to be stupid, yet does so with so much intelligence.
| Original Score: B+
This cheap-looking dung heap doesn't even bother hiding its contempt for paying audiences, and the lack of pretension almost justifies the cynicism on display.
| Original Score: 1/4
What starts out as a seriously tense naval war thriller ends up being Pearl Harbour II: Intergalactic Boogaloo.
Battleship is a movie that is enjoyable beyond expectation, but doesn't offer much more than the fast-food-style fun of a summer movie spectacle.
| Original Score: 3/5
It's not satire, it doesn't play on two levels like Starship Troopers, it's just s---... As a piece of miscalculated, American wankery, it is almost unparalleled.
Watch the movie for its spectacle and nothing else.
A silly summer popcorn flick that tries too hard to be witty and tongue-in-cheek while still embracing its deadly serious commitment to being the ultimate blow-em-up action extravaganza.
| Original Score: 4/10
It really should have been obvious to everyone involved that it was going to turn out like this.
| Original Score: 1.5/4
Believe it or not, no one ever says the game's signature line. So, lets say it here, all together and with enthusiasm, "You sunk my Battleship!"
| Original Score: 2.5/5
It appears a Hollywood boardroom has scraped the bottom of the barrel of originality to come up with a very long, very loud movie with almost nothing new to say.
Direction is sharp, but the dull assembly line story damages this hokey action picture that's occasionally so bad it's good.
| Original Score: 5/10
Battleship is to chicken burritos what The Avengers was to shawarma.
| Original Score: 7/10
Maybe it wasn't too smart to turn this Hasbro game into an alien-invasion movie.
| Original Score: 4
For an action flick that starts to sink right out of port, 'Battleship' does take a clever turn. But, boy, do you have to wait a long time for it to smarten up.
| Original Score: 2/4
Any movie based on Battleship that doesn't at least throw in a PT boat isn't worthy of the name.
... it sounds incredibly dumb -- and it is, but not without a little fun.
I am a sucker for these kinds of big, dumb action movies (I liked "John Carter" and "The Green Lantern" too), particularly if they have a good deal of science fiction in them, and this one does.
| Original Score: B