Battleship Reviews

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½ July 25, 2015
There are times that you just need to shut your brain off. And watching Battleship is one of those times.

Lt. Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch) is a weapons officer aboard the destroyer USS John Paul Jones, while his older brother, Stone (Alexander Skarsgård), is the commanding officer of the USS Sampson. Unknown to Alex, Stone or the rest of the U.S. Navy, alien invaders have arrived on Earth with plans to steal Earth's resources. When a confrontation with the invaders knocks out the Navy's radar capability, American and Japanese forces must work together to find a way to save the planet.

The only positive I can say about Battleship is the special effects. They are pretty cool to look at. Oh and also the battle scenes are good, too. And the aliens look kinda decent as well. The special effects, the battle scenes, the aliens are the reasons that people go to the theater and see a movie like Battleship. The action goes on and on but it is never unlike the sequels in the Transformers series. And that is it for the positives.

Sadly, there are a lot of negatives in Battleship. It is not perfect at all. First of all, I didn't care about the characters especially Taylor's Kitsch's character and to be fair I didn't care who won in the end of it all. Second of all, the acting is terrible and the dialogue is really atrocious. Now, I was a bit skeptical when she was cast in this film. It turned out that I was right. She was downright awful in this film. And the rest of the cast including our lead Taylor Kitsch isn't good either. Third of all, Berg's direction is unbalanced. It wants one genre and then it wants to be the next genre. And the script is really bad too because it gives no one to do.

Altogether, Battleship is noisy, loud, generic mess of a movie. But, it is fun to watch. I do understand why people hate this film. However, we can't expect an Oscar winner here. Sometimes, we need to turn off our brain and be entertain. Yes, the script is formulaic, the acting is dreadful, the dialogue is awful, and the direction is lumpy but it is has some enjoyment to it. However, I wish there was more Liam Neeson.

There is no surprise that Battleship tanked in the box office. It did for a number of reasons: 1) no one saw it, 2) Kitsch (because of John Carter) and Rihanna are in it, 3) the people waste their money on the effects, and/or 4) its unoriginality. Besides all of that, Battleship is the biggest guilty pleasure of 2012. Yes, it is stupid as all hell but it is a joy to watch. If you are expecting a good movie, you might as well skip this movie and see The Avengers instead. As for everyone else, I prefer you rent it.
½ July 21, 2015
Rating: 90%
Battleship has fantastic visuals and fun characters, with a gripping plot and more-than-decent acting.
May 25, 2012
Chicken burrito.....
July 14, 2015
The cast is just dumb. No offense everyone, but you all sucked here. That being said, I thought it was real fun. Some nice alien tech imagined up...although if they have the tech to travel across space you'd think they'd have more than garbage can bombs. Either way I still liked the fact it was at sea and stuff blew up per usual. Good times.
June 9, 2015
Have we gotten spoiled? Or did some of these folks not even see the movie. Just sat down and watched it again today, and I have to rank Battleship as one of my ALL-TIME favorite movies. It has action, love , humor, courage (some natural, some ?aquired?, and attention to detail that makes this a VERY enjoyable and entertaining movie. And to be able to encorporate some real naval vessels, especially the Missouri....well, appreciate the work that went enter making this movie. Cudos to Peter Berg and Hasbro for bring this work to the screen. Ignore the haters.....this is a GREAT film.
½ January 4, 2013
differant but keeps you watching
October 4, 2013
good effects, less acting.
May 23, 2015
What an amazing film! Poorly written? If your film preference is along the lines of Alien/Si-Fi with an additive of Action and Comedy, i cant offer a reason why not to watch this. There has been speculation as to why this film is a 'flop', including the proposition that it doesn't have many 'big stars' (what is Liam Neeson if not an amazing actor?).
I would like to believe that the only reason that this film hasn't scored as big as it should of, is because its release was close to the release of many other great films (such as Avengers) which may of partially shrouded the deserved praise this film should receive, and not that the 'Top critics' have gone blind.
I am an avid film fan, with a varied range, and can honestly say that this is a fantastic film, with a great cast, top quality effects and a story line that successfully and cleverly integrates a board game with an alien film, WHAT IS NOT TO LOVE?. Please Peter Berg, give us what we crave; a sequel as good as the first film! But what do i know, im just a film fan ;)
May 16, 2015
A lot better than heard/expected.
½ May 5, 2015
What does Liam Neeson care he got paid! Rihanna isn't an actress, and Taylor Kitsch is lucky to even be an actor. That said I won't criticize the acting, instead I'll criticize, the writing. Starting with, "I gotta write a movie called battleship? Based on the game? So a WW2 navel warfare farce..." Okay someone shot down that ideal in favor of an alien invasion set in an era when the USN doesn't use battleships. So to get a battleship even in the movie they have to recommission a decommissioned one to battle aliens who already defeat our most modern warships. It would be much more entertaining to actually play battleship than watch this film.
½ December 14, 2011
Over the top ridiculous...but still a good time if you like watching things blow up.
½ March 27, 2015
The only thing amazing about Battleship is that it took four people to write the script. The computer opponent from the Battleship PC game could write a better story.
April 14, 2015
Great action, story and the CG effects are outstanding.
½ March 24, 2015
The movie was on TV last night. Fortunately, I missed the first hour. I had to solicit my FB friends for the title of the film. My post sums it up:

I secretly enjoy hating on bad sci-fi movies, so last night was epic! Except i never figured out what the movie was called. Big budget blockbuster. Military recruitment porn. Light skinded black pop star weapon specialist hottie (Rhianna? Is that a thing?). Mean aliens. Cultural stereotypes of Asians. If I had to guess the name of the movie... id have to say something like "Attack on Cliche' Island" or "Super Pow Man Navy Guys and Army Guy and also Hot Girl Defeat Technologically Advanced Alien Invaders". And there's a Science Nerd. He does something too. Does anyone know what movie this is?

...and yet I watched it. I watched it because I have insomnia and it was on, and I can't look away when I see a total train wreck. Like if a train wreck and a porno movie had a child - and the child supported racist cops who shoot unarmed black teenagers... then that child would be this movie.

Seriously. This movie is so bad, it will give you Ass Cancer if you don't already have it. All those fat, middle Americans who gave it 5 stars? They already have bad-movie ass cancer...
½ March 23, 2015
Battleship suffers from thin scripting, predictability and outright awful acting.
½ February 26, 2014
Crazy Transformer-esque (but pretty cool) action, coupled with terrible acting, especially by Rihanna. Brooklyn Decker sizzles though.
March 16, 2015
A contender for the title of the dumbest movie of the century. Top Gun mixed with Independence Day mixed with Transformers mixed with (the board game) Battleship. But not as good as any of those things. Incredibly stupid, with some dialogue and acting (Kitsch, Decker, Rihanna) so bad that it becomes almost offensive. But some casting (the Japanese Cap'n, Vampire Eric, Neeson (of course) and the gooddamn BISCUIT as the Secretary of Defense)
makes this partially redeemable. And some sequences - a spin on the actual GAME of Battleship, and the old timers in the Arizona - are kinda rousing and kinda fun. Stupid ain't always a bad thing. But here...it comes close.
March 13, 2015
So terrible. An atrocity. One of the worst movies I have ever seen.
March 11, 2015
Yes this movie was not marketing properly. And yes it feels like Transformers when Transformers' movies carry a mindless stink with them.

After you get past the grueling first 45 minutes it's actually a solid action movie. Pits man vs alien. Rivals uniting to over come a common enemy and a blend of brain/brawn. It does have a ridiculous grid scene, but the movie is called Battleship; and that's part of the cheesy entertainment.

I understand there needs to be some character set-up to help you care for these people during their conflict. But it took so long to get going you stopped caring before the action started.
February 28, 2015
Battleship was such a disappointment for me because the plot is "drained" as in bad. It's not good, it's more of a comedy, very cheaply made its nothing like transformers so for that I'm going to give battleship 1/5 stars
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