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Paper Magazine Compiles Top Ten Worst Nude Scenes of All Time
Ten who should have listened to Jermaine Stewart.
by Jeff Giles | March 07, 2008
Discuss Article | Blog Article | Email To A Friend
Nude scenes: we love them. Well, most of the time, anyway.

Every so often, a film comes along that contains nudity that transcends "gratuitous" (hooray for Porky's!) and wanders into "oh dear God, my eyes, please help me" territory. We've all been there, whether it was getting that extra bit of Bacon during Wild Things' opening weekend, or stumbling across Dennis Hopper without his pants on during a late-night Cinemax airing of Carried Away -- but thankfully, Papermag's Cinemaniac is here to help you navigate the pitfalls of unclothed celebrities, with a list of the Top Ten Worst Nude Scenes of All Time.

The list is as cruelly humorous as you'd expect -- perfect for a Friday, in other words -- but we'll save the prose for those of you who want to follow the link. In the meantime, here's the list:

Philip Seymour Hoffman, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead
Donald Sutherland, Space Cowboys
Kathy Bates, At Play in the Fields of the Lord
John Gielgud, Prospero's Books
Julie Andrews, S.O.B.
Burgess Meredith, Such Good Friends
Terry Bradshaw, Failure to Launch
Jessica Tandy, Camilla
Jay North, Maya
Patrick Dempsey, Some Girls

As the article puts it when referencing Dempsey's Some Girls scene, "some things are better left to the imagination." What's on your personal list of Worst Nude Scenes of All Time?

Source: Papermag

Related Items
Movie: Failure to Launch
Space Cowboys
Wild Things
Carried Away
Camilla
Maya
Prospero's Books
At Play in the Fields of the Lord
Some Girls
S.O.B.
Celeb: Kathy Bates
Terry Bradshaw
Kevin Bacon
Patrick Dempsey
John Gielgud
Dennis Hopper
Burgess Meredith
Jay North
Donald Sutherland
Philip Seymour Hoffman
Jessica Tandy
Julie Andrews
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Comments (1-20 of 39 posts) | Reply
Jen Yamato writes:
on Mar 07 2008 10:48 AM

Hot. Ten movies on my must-see list.

(Reply to this)
RT-Ryan writes:
on Mar 07 2008 10:55 AM

Mmmmmm... Jessica Tandy... I won't say any more than that.

(Reply to this)
308706
a blind goat writes:
on Mar 07 2008 11:28 AM

Can we add Diane Keaton from Something's gotta give. That scared the crap out of me.

(Reply to this)
Big Freeze writes:
on Mar 07 2008 11:35 AM

kathy bates should also be on the list for her disturbing nude scene in "about schmidt." i started getting acid reflux after seeing it.

(Reply to this)
ShopS-Mart writes:
on Mar 07 2008 11:42 AM

What about the nude old woman from "the shining"? im sure anyone who has seen that movie will never look at a naked woman the same way again...

(Reply to this)
BoondockPimp writes:
on Mar 07 2008 11:51 AM

In reply to this comment (#1619125)
There's nothing quite like the feel of leather on your thighs, right Ryan? :D

(Reply to this)
tomwaitsjr writes:
on Mar 07 2008 11:52 AM

Harvey Keitel in Bad Leiutenant is missing...

one of the few times i just turned off the tv and took a blistering hot shower to make the ick feelings go away


(Reply to this)
330385
Loserman writes:
on Mar 07 2008 11:54 AM

Ned Beatty in "Deliverance"...the nude redneck chase scene in "Sideways"...James Woods in "Videodrome"...

(Reply to this)
330385
Loserman writes:
on Mar 07 2008 11:57 AM

...oh, plus Kevin Bacon in "Hollow Man" (CGI and invisible nudeness)...

(Reply to this)
330385
Loserman writes:
on Mar 07 2008 11:59 AM

...I never saw "Basic Instinct 2", but those who have, would Sharon Stone apply as well, or is she holding up these days (assuming she was nude in it)?

(Reply to this)
291294
TrustThe7s writes:
on Mar 07 2008 12:06 PM

how is borat not on that list?!?

(Reply to this)
331046
nodeuces writes:
on Mar 07 2008 12:08 PM

That documentary 2 girls 1 cup is the worst nude scene!

(Reply to this)
19103
dethburger writes:
on Mar 07 2008 12:25 PM

Sharon Stone looks pretty good these days...choice of hairstyle not withstanding.

(Reply to this)
samjacksonisdaman421 writes:
on Mar 07 2008 12:32 PM

Sharon Stone looked good is basic instinct 2 but when it comes to worst it have to be Borat all the way.

(Reply to this)
vitajex writes:
on Mar 07 2008 01:11 PM

'Bull$h!t!', I cry at the top of my lungs!

Julie Andrews in S.O.B. was HOT! HOT!! How could anyone put that on a list of worst nude scenes?!?!

Clearly the compiler of this list is an idiot... and an ageist, to boot.



(Reply to this)
lilrummagesalecoat writes:
on Mar 07 2008 01:29 PM

ya how isnt borat on there!! that was a very disgusting scene, but really funny. and what about that lady on theres somthing about mary?


(Reply to this)
tomwaitsjr writes:
on Mar 07 2008 01:39 PM

We're all smarter than the person who wrote the original list. . .

2 girls 1 cup?

Ever see Swamp.avi?
I came so close to throwing up on that one...


(Reply to this)
tomwaitsjr writes:
on Mar 07 2008 01:46 PM

err, sorry, "swap" .avi

swamp avi is probably different. . .


(Reply to this)
RT-Ryan writes:
on Mar 07 2008 03:10 PM

In reply to this comment (#1619175)
Mr. Pimp, you have expressed my feelings much more eloquently than I could ever hope to. And for that, sir, I thank you.

(Reply to this)
371396
Moefoe writes:
on Mar 07 2008 03:50 PM

What about that terrible movie with Jessica Alba dancing around ripping her clothes off until she was completely naked, disgusting...Just kidding she'll probably do it when she 50...

(Reply to this)
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