Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens (1979)

As the recycled title indicates, "Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens" is director Russ Meyer in self-parody mode. Roger Ebert (yes, that Roger Ebert) co-wrote the screenplay under the name "R. Hyde," but don't assume this means the film doesn't stink. Because it does.Ebert did have to string quite a few words together between sex scenes, due to recurring spiels by an evangelical radio announcer (Anne Marie) and a droll narrator (Meyer veteran Stuart Lancaster). But the story is junk. Lamar (Ken Kerr, a Jeff Foxworthy type) is married to buxom nymphomaniac Lavonia (Kitten Nativdad), but can't get himself interested in anything but anal sex. The resulting arguments lead to both partners chasing gratification elsewhere. Other humping cretins include the staff of a junkyard, a gay dentist, his bisexual nurse, a door-to-door lingerie salesman, a horny garbageman and an old man who craves sex in a coffin. Meyer himself appears at the end, taking over the narration when Lancaster finally exits to grab some lovin' for himself.It's dicey to call this film "pornography" -- the sex is more graphic than in early Meyer works, but this is still an old-fashioned skin flick. The couplings are far too cartoonish to be erotic (the men tend to go cross-eyed when they orgasm, which tells you all you need to know about the film's subtlety) and, while there are a few shots of erect penises and lots of close-ups of Natividad's pubic bush, the action is not really explicit. Of course, this is a Russ Meyer movie so there are enormous, bouncing breasts galore.The dubious treats also include some tasteless sound effects, one winceable moment of a hot light bulb applied to someone's scrotum and a baffling motif of injured men bleeding from the mouth in impossible colors. I was ready for the film to end after 10 minutes, but I stuck it out.