BIRD OF PREY - *

DIRECTOR: Temistocles Lopez
CAST: Jennifer Tilly, Boyan Milushev, Richard Chamberlain, Lenny von Dohlen, Robert Carradine, Leslie Ann Warren
SCRIPT: Boyan Milushev, James J. Mellon, Tracy Hall Adams, Lynette Prucha CAMERA: David Knaus
EDITOR: Ila von Hasperg, Tracy Hall Adams
GENRE: Drama - TIME: Endless

Seldom in your life will you see a film this bad with a cast that claims they have taste. At one point the Leslie Ann Warren character drapes herself over a chair and screams out, "I'm so bored. I could scream." Members of the audience screamed back, "We know what you mean."

Locale: Bulgaria. Communism has self-destructed, and Griffith (Richard Chamberlain) with a tiny dog on his arm is an American drug dealer, arms smuggler, nuclear-bombs-material trader, and an all-round nasty guy. His daughter Kily (Jennifer Tilly), while visiting her papa, falls in love with Nick (Boyan Milushev), a handsome Bulgarian native. Oh, no! Griffith had personally killed Nick's father, a cop, years ago and had jailed the boy. Now a man, Nick wants revenge.

Why not have sex with Kily, videotape the act and send it to Dad. Also bomb his drug-dealing habitats and machine gun his gambling lounges. Well, the last two are all right, but do we really have to view Silly Tilly copulate? It's not a pretty sight, and with that squeaky high-pitched voice, Tilly is unbearable as the female lead. Every other actress west of the Mississippi must have turned down the part before this grating, talentless thespian got the role. Terrific in Woody Allen's "Bullets Over Broadway," one can only guess she was manipulated shot by shot to get that finished product.

Also embarrassing is Ms. Warren as Griffith's girlfriend. With at least three musical numbers that are pretty horrifying, it's sad to think how great she was once in "Victor/Victoria" and "Choose Me." But she's not alone. Chamberlain is wooden, the direction's inept, and the choreography a nightmare.

At one point, Kily/Tilly notes: "Parents! You can't live with them. You can't live without their Mastercard." Hopefully, that will be the only sentence I remember from this abomination, and if the Lord is merciful, not even that.