Bite Me

Bite Me

——
  • R, 1 hr. 40 min.
  • Horror
  • Directed By:
    Brett Piper
    In Theaters:
    Oct 26, 2004 Wide
    On DVD:
    Oct 12, 2004

Opening

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—— Unforgettable: Season 2

Bite Me Reviews

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DrStrangeblog
DrStrangeblog

Super Reviewer

February 12, 2010
Trashy Theater Time: D-grade no-budget horror-comedy with nudie-film star Misty Mundae as stripper-turned-commando Crystal. Sound fun? You betcha! A jokey script helps turn a routine mutant-bugs-on-the-loose scenario into a silly romp with a host of goofy characters: Ralph the super-slimy club owner, strippers Trix the nearsighted & unfazably doped-up Amber, Buzz the humane exterminator, a crazy ("Don't call me crazy!!") rogue DEA agent, and Teresa the shady businesswoman with a hammy Noo Yawk accent. Mundae & Julian Wells are perfectly aware of what kinds of dumb movies these are, and their willingness to play along like they're in on the joke makes all the difference between a waste of time and a fun waste of time.
saintboondock1
October 1, 2008
i want to do a simple review for this one so what do i say? its sooo fucking stupid its awsome i love misty mundae!!!!!!
bigothic
November 14, 2006
a strip clun filled with pot thats infested with bugs that bite your or crawl up your ass and turn you into some thing your not...say one girl... a hard core straight girl turns into a hard core dyke looving the pussy!...now tell...how can you not love that plot?!
SteveMiller
May 18, 2008
A failing strip club is invaded by monstrous spiders whose venom either bring out repressed sides of a victim's personality or turns them into hideous mutants.

"Bite Me" is a goofy film that spoofs the monster movies from the 1950s and the softcore porn films that many of the featured actresses have been featured in. It's not a bad little movie, but it could have been much, much better based on what's here.

The problem is not with the actors. They're all pretty good, with Caitlin Ross (playing a doped-up stripper who manages to save the day while basically sleepwalking through the mayhem of monster spiders and crazy gunmen), Michael R. Thomas (as the brash club owner), and Misty Mundae (as a mild-mannered stripper who becomes Rambette after being bit by one of the spiders) being especially funny in their parts.

The technical aspect of this low-budget production is also very good, with decent camera work and lighting, nifty stop-motion animated monsters, and well-executed green-screen and CGI elements. The film actually looks better in many respects than movies with budgets that were probably ten times what it cost to make "Bite Me!" ("Lost Voyage" springs to mind immediately.)

What drags this movie down from, based on the concepts, the acting, and the technical execution, could have been at least a 7 rating to a low 5 is the script. The script is unfocused, flabby, and at times redundant. While there are some very funny bits in the beginning of the film but they are surrounded by material that sets up a subplot that never really pays off. The same is true with subplot about organized crime elements who are trying to take over the stripclub. An interesting character in the club's bartender is not given the development she should get, and the same is true to the club's owner. If the script had been taken through another couple of drafts, I'm certain writer/director Brett Piper would have noticed these flaws, saved the government conspiracy stuff for another movie and focused more on the stripclub and its denizens. That's where the heart of the movie is, and it's a shame that the time isn't there to develope it properly.

Still, "Bite Me!" is a fun little movie. It's worth seeing it you like cheesy monster films or if you're a fan of Misty Mundae or any of the other actresses appearing in it; they actually get to [i]act/i] in it, and they're good! (They mostly keep their clothes on, though, so if you're looking for the usual lesbian nookie, this is not the film for you.)


Bite Me
Starring: Misty Mundae, Michael R. Thomas, Sylvianne Chebance, Julian Wells, Caitlin Ross, Rob Monkiewicz, Erika Smith, and John Paul Fedele
Director: Brett Piper
jazza923
January 22, 2007
If this film was meant to be serious it would be a complete disaster, but the fact that it is a horror spoof makes it funny and almost watchable. The ultra cheap production is a major hinderance though. The special effects are poor. There are some really campy and funny scenes though. (The stripper who can't see without her glasses is a gem!)

Where RT came up with a 2 hour and 20 minute length is a mystery to me, it was only 86 minutes.
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