Average Rating: 2.6/10
Reviews Counted: 10
Fresh: 1 | Rotten: 9
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Average Rating: N/A
Critic Reviews: 3
Fresh: 1 | Rotten: 2
Average Rating: 2.2/5
User Ratings: 4,702
Branded is a dark and mind-bending journey into a surreal, dystopian society where corporate brands have unleashed a monstrous global conspiracy to get inside our minds and keep the population disillusioned, dependent and passive. One man's Misha (Ed Stoppard) passion to unlock the truth behind the conspiracy will lead to an epic battle with the hidden forces that really control our world. -- (C) Official Site
Sep 7, 2012 Limited
Jan 15, 2013
Barbossa/Roadside Attraction - Official Site
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There's almost a Seussian vibe in this heap, but no hint that it's intentional.
Branded" is a confusing sci-fi thriller that takes itself much too seriously.
Satire usually implies at least a little bit of humor, and Branded is mostly humorless -- if it was ever actually trying to be funny, then it fails. If a satire should be pointed, then this movie is more on the dull side.
The worst of the worst, but serious connoisseurs of le bad cinema shouldn't pass it up.
Audience Reviews for Branded
- Misha Galkin: Ladies and gentlemen. The Burger is dead. The growth of brands has spiraled out of control. Never before in history has it been this difficult to record growth because there is simply not enough room in the minds of consumers to hold new desires for new products. What happened in the case of fast food has fundamentally altered the market forever. A crippling anxiety has seized consumers. They're terrified the products can hurt them. A unique opportunity now stands before you. The time has come to clear a free space in the minds of consumers, where your products can live on. Today, in order to get consumers to continue to desire computers, you have to first make them lose interest in cellphones. What you need, is to convince them that the competition's brands are deadly dangerous. Destroy the market for cellphones, and eradicate the competition. For your brands to grow, they need to learn how to attack. And I know how to teach your brands to attack.
- Marketing Guru: I want to talk to you today... about love. See, I have struggled to find a way to restore the people's love of your products, but it hasn't worked out. Consumers just no longer wish to buy them. When it's over, it's over. They no longer love you. The era of fast food has passed. But I do have a proposal. Something which exceeds the limits of marketing in its traditional form. A plan which will change the world. Together, we will make fat beautiful again. But first, a question. How far are you willing to go to solve your problems?
- Marketing Guru: How far are you willing to go... to change the world?
- Misha Galkin: Now is the time to get the truth out.
- Bob Gibbons: No no no.
- Misha Galkin: I wanted to get really rich.
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