The Day After The Oscars: A Recap

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So, it's the day after the Oscars. You might be stinging from the upset wins of last night (Three 6 Mafia, Oscar-winners?? No acting honors for "Brokeback?"), or maybe you actually won the office pool by picking dark horse "Crash" for best pic. Either way, the 78th Annual Academy Awards show was a doozy.

There were so many wacky moments and surprises, it's hard to pinpoint exactly where the Academy Awards stopped being the Academy Awards and started becoming a weird entertainment show mutation; part Oscars, part MTV Video Music Awards, and part Daily Show.

Let's recap: there was Jon Stewart's politicized (but not too politicized) hosting job; Charlize Theron's giant bowtie of a dress; Three 6 Mafia's red carpet teeth bling discussion; Three 6 Mafia's Oscar win for "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp;" Will Ferrell and Steve Carell's hilarious presentation of Best Makeup; "Tsotsi" director Gavin Hood's emotional shout out to South Africa; Ben Stiller's excruciating green screen bodysuit; the terrible, theatrical, performance of "Crash" Best Song nomination "In The Deep," with a burning car onstage and dancers recreating key scenes from the film, IN SLO-MO; Lauren Bacall's difficult-to-watch teleprompter trouble; the history of gay westerns montage; Tom Hank's awkward taped spoof acceptance speech; "Memoirs of a Geisha" costume designer Colleen Atwood thanking "the people of Japan" for her award.

And since we didn't get an invite (and didn't feel like watching the post-Oscars specials all night long), we can only imagine what the after parties were following this year's crazy Academy Awards. Thankfully, the AP's got a rundown of Vanity Fair's big bash, which sounds just as random and indulgent as the awards show itself:

"At the stroke of midnight, a grinning Reese Witherspoon showed up to Vanity Fair's annual bash at Morton's with two men dangling from her arms: her best actress Oscar statuette and husband Ryan Phillippe.

Phillippe couldn't quite contain his enthusiasm, and for good reason.

"Best picture, bitch! Best picture!" he yelled to his "Crash" co-star Larenz Tate after hugging him in front of a wall of photographers."

Also at the Vanity Fair party, celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck entertained hungry guests with the highest degree of gastronomical delights:

"Inside the bash, which this year reportedly cut its guest list by 500, old Hollywood royalty and new Hollywood starlets schmoozed, drank and feasted on hors d'oeuvres and lollipops depicting the faces of Shirley Temple and Dakota Fanning."

Such is the life of a Hollywood star. "Best Picture, bitch!" and Dakota Fanning lollipops.