Nick Swardson co-writes and stars in this Happy Madison gross-out comedy about the biggest dork ever entering the adult film industry. ...Man, do I even need to make a "How can this go wrong?" joke? I can think imagine that plenty of people out there are thinking, "No need, because seeing as it's a Happy Madison production, we already know that you like it." Hey, I'm just going ahead and speaking for the readers, because although I neither liked nor disliked the other Happy Madison films of 2011, considering that this is the internet, all anyone is going to remember is the "didn't dislike" part, and I can understand, because I'm giving these films more credit than they deserve by calling them "borderline" bull. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, in all fairness, compared to this film, I almost love those other Happy Madison productions. ...Yeah, I'm waiting for the part where I say, "Okay, maybe that's going a bit too far", but that's not going to happen, because this film is absolutely unpalatable. Okay, maybe it's not as bad as I though, in as much as I was going in expecting an unparalleled, unholy experience of horrible pain while watching this abomination of desolation torture me in fashions that make the stuff they do in Guantanamo Bay look like getting slapped in the arm with a thin rubber band, when really, all I got was just a mental scar, because, make no mistake, this film is still pretty blasted awful, and yet the torture still goes toned down just a slight smidge by... hot chicks... and that's just about it.
If I have nothing else to say about this film, then it's the fact that... um... I'm at least glad that the ridiculously over-the-top offensive hick town that the Bucky Larson character comes from is in the Midwest and not the South, because if it took place in Alabama, then I'd be just about ready to kill somebody. No, but seriously though, although I would have probably actually spent money to have Nick Swardson hurt horribly if he was taking shots at sweet home Alabama, I feel genuinely offended on behalf of those poor buck-toothed, Dutch-accented weat farmers in Iowa - you bet ya -, mostly because it's a joke that's so startlingly unfunny (Yes, even less funny than the Iowa joke I just made), as opposed to about, I think three jokes that are actually pretty good, as much as I hate to admit it. Okay, now, there are points where timing and absurdity fluke and create a quick gut punch that evokes a chuckles, and that would be the John Mayer joke that Kevin Nealon practically introduces himself with, and that's about it. Okay, fine, after that, the film makes a few undeniable flukes, and yet, what really keeps this film from falling so far under the radar that it's untracable has to be those moments where the film stops being so over-the-top and fall back into being that kind of Happy Madison down-to-earth, where things are still exaggerated, but mediocrely so. Of course, even that tonal shift is a glaring flaw in the film, because this film's dance between over-the-top and relatively down-to-earth is so inorganic and incompetent, making the film tonally inconsistent. Still, those inconsistent moments are far and few between, because this film mostly rests on one type of tone, and as much as I wish I could say the frequent tone is the mediocre, relatively down-to-earth, I've got too many scars from the awful over-the-top to know that's not the case. I really don't know what to say; this film is just an absolute embarassment, and yet, I just have to bite the bullet and go into detail, because if you're thinking that there's even a mild glimmer of hope, I have to educate you before you see this film and hurt yourself beyond any repair, emotionally, mentally and, well, physically, because watching this film made my muscles almost instinctively jump out of me to try and get away.
Even during it's mediocre, relatively down-to-earth moments, the film is cheesy and somewhat obnoxious, and yet, it's hard to not beg for more of that when the film jumps back to the over-the-top that is more prominent throughout the film, because the torturous "humor" that this foundation is practically built upon is anything but palatable. Fish-out-of-water humor, alone, is enough to drive me up a wall, as it stands among my absolute biggest pet peeves in comedy; right up there with over-the-top, gross-out raunchy. Put those two pieces of "humor" together, and you've an unrelenting barrage of horrorible, consistently fall-flat humor that's obnoxious enough at a slow and steady deliver, let alone when it's delivered with the kind of frenetic loudness that can be found in this film. Now, the film isn't as relentlessly, frantically vulgar and loud as something like "Freddy Got Fingered", or else I probably would have bailed by the hour mark, but believe me, this film is still loud and annoying in its totally unreasonable and unfunny gross-out scenarios. However, through all of that lack of intelligence and wit, this film still boasts volumes of pretense in its atmosphere, as if the swill it's spouting is comedy gold. It's a problem with most films of this type, and this film isn't as intense in its pretense as something like a Friedberg/Seltzer movie, or the aforecited "Freddy Got Fingered", the film still stands with its chest in the wind as it pokes at you over and over again, silently exclamining, "Isn't this funny, you stupid, money-making movie-gore?" It's a problem I often have with Nick Swardso, who, I must admit, isn't as terrible and unlikable as I expected, but is still so very obnoxious, showing that even when he's at his best, he's still an annoying, pretentious little idiot in this powerful testament to his lack of talent, as well as how "not" to make a performer vehicle, much less a movie.
To shut down this star, credit to the ever so occasional fluke in humor, as well as those moments where the film tonally inconsistently, but still relievingly tones down the over-the-top and stands as simply mediocre; yet on the whole, this film wishes it could be as good as mediocre, and I don't just mean that figuratively, as this film, with an overbearing pretense, delivers one wildly offensive, repulsively disgusting and obnoxiously frantic fall-flat joke of a joke after another as it self-righteously pushes and pushes for any kind of positive reaction, when really, the only reactions it gets and deserves to get are overwhelmingly negative, thus making "Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star" to collapse as an insufferable, mean-spirited onslaught of unbearable raunch that, like all the other atrocities of its type, haunts, scars and gives both comedy and filmmaking, in general.
1/5 - Awful