It's totally ridiculous, utterly unbelievable and deliciously naughty as much as a PG-13 movie can be.
| Original Score: 4/5
What Antin should take away from this experience is that it takes a lot more than a clichéd-filled story, some dancing, forgettable music, and a bland script to make an interesting and engaging musical.
| Original Score: 1.5/4
...wears out its welcome to an almost astonishing degree...
| Original Score: 2/4
Welcome back, plotline of 1933; you haven't aged a bit.
| Original Score: 2/5
The alarmingly plastic surgery-ified Cher, with her face looking like a condom stretched over a beach umbrella, gives a performance here as the club owner that's not so much 'still' as 'immobile'.
This is all about the music and director/writer Steve Antin has fashioned a spectacle worthy of Broadway.
Burlesque may be aiming for Cabaret-style glamour, but mostly it plays like stale cheese.
The tone is earnest, verging on sentimental. Or maybe it's just the effect of Antin's leaden dialogue, for it inspires some execrable acting. As a movie star, Aguilera is yet to shine.
| Original Score: 2.5/5
So bad it's good or just plain bad? Terribly entertaining with emphasis on the terribly, or just, you know, terrible?
Burlesque is unlikely to convert any new followers to either its stars or its subject matter.
The images are murky and off-putting, the wisecracks fall flat, and the musical numbers aren't stylish or excessive enough to be memorable.
| Original Score: 1/5
Yes, Burlesque is bad, but it's the good kind of bad, with plenty of unintentional laughs and a powerfully dreadful lead performance by Cher.
| Original Score: 3/5
Burlesque offers such an archetypal Hollywood narrative that explaining what happens in the film is almost irrelevant.
Burlesque is awful. The script is horrendous. The acting is dismal. The musical numbers are glitzy and glittery, but even all the half-naked women on stage can't make this film particularly thrilling.
While campy and clichéd, this is a surprisingly enjoyable piece of escapism with Christina Aguilera delivering an impressive turn in the lead role.
Yes, it bears absolutely no resemblance to the historical art of burlesque, but that's like complaining Jurassic Park didn't have enough palaeontology in it.
Even the dances feel cozily dated, as choreographers Denise Faye and Joey Pizzi borrow liberally from Bob Fosse.
Burlesque manages what seemed impossible: It is filled with half-naked dancing girls, yet it's still boring.
| Original Score: 0.5/4
[Steve] Antin hasn't really written Burlesque, he has merely spooned the story out of a can labelled 'Instant Musical: Just add eyeliner.'
| Original Score: 1.5/5