What Antin should take away from this experience is that it takes a lot more than a clichéd-filled story, some dancing, forgettable music, and a bland script to make an interesting and engaging musical.
| Original Score: 1.5/4
For a film with so much camp promise and the world crying out for a successor to the so-bad-it's-good cult Showgirls, this cliché packed film is disappointingly mediocre.
| Original Score: 2/5
Has the glitz and allure of a Victoria's Secret ad. What it doesn't have is an imaginative reinvention of the show-biz clichés that have so adamantly inspired it.
Burlesque offers such an archetypal Hollywood narrative that explaining what happens in the film is almost irrelevant.
It's no great surprise that Christina Aguilera can sing. But I'm sorry to report that her breakout movie is similarly revelation free.
Burlesque is awful. The script is horrendous. The acting is dismal. The musical numbers are glitzy and glittery, but even all the half-naked women on stage can't make this film particularly thrilling.
Burlesque is unlikely to convert any new followers to either its stars or its subject matter.
| Original Score: 2.5/5
The alarmingly plastic surgery-ified Cher, with her face looking like a condom stretched over a beach umbrella, gives a performance here as the club owner that's not so much 'still' as 'immobile'.
Is it too much to ask for one wig to get snatched?
The movie features some terribly underdeveloped characters, [but] the showy musical numbers and a great debut from Christina Aguilera make it a lot more enjoyable than you might believe.
It's camp alright: prison camp.
| Original Score: F
But Antin is no Bob Fosse. He's not even Debbie Allen, particularly since the choreographed numbers are edited so choppily that you never get to see a full 5-6-7-8 without a cutaway.
The choicest dialogue in Burlesque provokes the sort of laughter that other, intentionally funny films only dream of generating.
You know how movie stars lie and say they never see their own films? The hilariously bad Burlesque would be a great opportunity to actually follow through on that.
| Original Score: D
There's a chance you'll like the film. Perhaps if you're Christina Aguilera's mom or the spirit of Sonny Bono reincarnated as a person who can tolerate awful movies.
| Original Score: 1/4
Rarely have so many straight-faces been employed in the service of so many risible lines and hackneyed plot-developments as in Burlesque.
[Steve] Antin hasn't really written Burlesque, he has merely spooned the story out of a can labelled 'Instant Musical: Just add eyeliner.'
| Original Score: 1.5/5
We've seen these kinds of clubs before, usually with guys dressed up as Madonna, Barbra, Cher -- wait, there's the guy doing Cher now. In a sailor hat and tights. Oh dear God ... it actually IS Cher.
| Original Score: 3/10
A brain dead construct that trades in absurd clichés and obvious stereotypes.