Dr. Seuss - The Cat in the Hat Reviews
October 4, 2014
Insults the intelligence of it's audience with potty humor and crudeness.
September 28, 2014
While none of the Seuss movies are great, Grinch had Jim Carrey's performance and the size. Horton had the great message and villains. Lorax had DeVito's Lorax and a bright, bouncy, wonderful atmosphere. The Cat in the Hat has literally nothing (outside of a headache) to offer.
September 17, 2014
A serious contender for "worst film of all-time".
September 14, 2014
A high-energy spit in the face of Dr. Seuss fans, young and old.
September 6, 2014
one of the worst movies ever
June 18, 2010
Oh lordy, my shits can make better films than this.
I love Dr Seuss books when I was a kid, this film was horrible.
This must be why Mike Myers is in sod all these days, he just tries too hard to be funny, playing a character that is nothing like the Cat in the books.
Only one thing worse than leaving Jimmy Saville in a room with your child, is leaving him/her with this shite playing on the tv at the same time.
February 16, 2012
Same charm from "The Grinch" in being funny and somewhat clever. But it's crazier than the book and mature for young readers. (B)
(Full review coming soon)
August 19, 2014
A painful film adaptation of Dr. Seuss' iconic and lovable character, The Cat in the Hat falls flat with its foul humor, adult jokes, poorly crafted story, and lacks the Dr. Seuss charm that we all know and love, even The Grinch, despite its flaws was a much better film adaptation of a Dr. Seuss book!
August 17, 2014
One Star: Not a Good One
February 10, 2010
(First and only full viewing - Late teen years)
August 17, 2014
This is one of the greatest movies ever. Its a true classic. The only reason that anyone should not go to the theaters for this is because its hard to see over heads of people leaving the theater.
August 8, 2014
I can just imagine a bunch of execs at a meeting and thinking, "OK, what can we do to scar the childhoods of millions?" Outside of the Seltzer and Friedberg movies, this may be the most hideous...thing ever to be vomited on to a screen.
August 6, 2014
The Cat In The Hat is one of the ultimate low points in the history of family films, as well as in the history of adapting a book to the screen. It's a hellish film, one that not even your worst nightmares fueled by a week-long binge of meth and LSD could conjure up with its horrific imagery that's more terrifying than most psychological horror films, utterly unfocused storyline, jarring tonal shifts, horrible and unlikable characters, unfunny humor that is highly inappropriate for a PG-rated film, and so much more that cannot be explained unless you make the tragic mistake of watching this film.
Joan Walden is a single mother and realtor who has two horrible, bratty children named Conrad and Sally, as well as having a boyfriend named Lawrence. On this particular day, Joan's boss wants her to host a party for her and her fellow realtors, and her boss is an obsessive germaphobe who threatens to fire Joan if her house isn't clean this time around.
Joan is disheartened by this because Conrad is snot-nosed little brat who is hell-bent on not doing what he's told and will wreck just about anything in sight. She tells her two children to not make a mess of things, especially as Joan's boyfriend, Lawrence wants her to send Conrad to military school and Conrad is already on thin ice with his mother.
After Lawrence leaves and Conrad decides to be a little shit by telling his mother, "I wish I had a different mom," Joan leaves her two children with the Asian-stereotyped babysitter she hired who proceeds to fall into a deep sleep and leaves the children unattended.
While the children are wandering around the house, they just so happen to run into the title character: a giant, talking cat in a hat, who proceeds to take the children on a terrifying journey of mischief, double endentres, allowing them to continue being horrible little brats, allowing them to open a portal into a terrifying dimension and other shit that I can't even begin to explain or comprehend.
How did a simple story with multi-layered themes get turned into such a garbled clusterfuck of a story? Nothing ever makes sense and this film is more insane to follow than even the most bizarre surrealist films (You know, films that are intentionally made to be batshit crazy). The scenarios presented in this film feel more like the types of things you'd see in psychological horror films or home invasion films because everything is made inadvertently creepy and horrifying. Trying to follow all the scenarios and bizarre things that occur in the film become so confusing and disorienting that following the film becomes a bewildering and emotionally-tormenting experience.
The humor? What humor? There's nothing to laugh about in this film. NOTHING. The slapstick is dreadful, the campy humor is dreadful, the scatological humor is awful, the parodic humor is painful, the gay jokes are painful, the race jokes are awful, the plays on swear words are awful, and the adult jokes are especially painful to endure. You've got boner jokes, the cat calling a ho, "Dirty ho!" and then apologizing to it like it's a woman, the cat jokingly telling the children about how babies are made, and more. All of it is completely unfunny in every way, and much like the story, trying to process all these horrible jokes is bewildering. Hell, the film even as the audacity for a moment of product placement involving Universal Studios where the cat deliberately and glaringly promotes it with a wink (Either that, or it's supposed to be like the product placement joke in Wayne's World. Only in Wayne's World, that joke was funny. And more importantly, Wayne's World was actually a good comedy).
With a horribly written storyline, horrible and unlikable characters, unfunny humor in a wide spectrum of comedy types, scenes more horrific and terrifying than most horror films, a number of offensive attributes for a family film, and more, The Cat In The Hat shot dead any future chances for live action Dr. Seuss films worse than even the most brutal mafia-style execution (Dr. Seuss' widow was so pissed about this adaptation she refused to allow any other live action films based on his work). However, I did like the visuals and set pieces which I thought were well made, and I wish had been used for an enjoyable quirky comedy, as well as the music score. However, this is not something to be watched unless you possess absolutely no taste or standards in comedy.
July 24, 2014
Bad acting, creepy costumes and makeup, terrible jokes. Need I say more? This film is an offense to the original story.
July 9, 2014
Some things need to be purged from existence. This is one of those things.
July 22, 2014
The problem with this movie is that almost every other thing the cat says either a sex innuendo joke or a threat of violence. All three writers who worked on this movie also worked on Seinfeld. Last time I check, Seinfeld wasn't a kid friendly show.
July 13, 2014
A good family movie the way Hooters is a good family restaurant. Instead of expanding upon its source material, it completely desecrates it with inappropriate humor and acting that Stephen Hawking could outperform.
July 9, 2014
"The Cat in the Hat" is an experience so horrible to a point that it shouldn't even qualify as a proper film. I've grown up with Dr. Seuss for such a long time, but when I did see this film, I was left with my own childhood insulted. There is nothing funny or redeeming about this film at any point, considering the fact that the film's humour is just too mature for the target audience, yet it falls flat even for adult viewers. And I'll probably go as far as to say that even the "ass to ass" scene from "Requiem for a Dream" is funnier than this turd.
June 20, 2014
One of the worst films I've ever seen. Completely unsuitable for children, with all the innuendo. The Cat is a completely idiotic character and nothing like the book. Crediting Dr. Seuss with writing credit for this thing is a supreme insult. While there were some nice visuals occasionally, a minor laugh as Things 1 & 2 try to hold up the mother, it's an utter train wreck and has all the appeal of a bowl of vomit. Never will see again.
June 18, 2014
The Raunchiest Children's movie ever made. Do not let your kids watch this horrible movie!