BY NICK ROGERS
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT WRITER
THE STATE JOURNAL-REGISTER, SPRINGFIELD, IL

After the morose “Hulk,” it seems like action without angst would be a proper antidote. But instead of being aggressively gleeful like its predecessor, “Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle” is just plain aggressive.

The original carved out a niche just as kitschy as it was kick-butt, with buoyancy that kept the movie afloat as it trotted out action that could kindly be described as negligent of physics. But “Full Throttle” never feels like anything more than what it looks to be - a calculated, cobbled-together bid for sequel money.

The chemistry between Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu and Drew Barrymore is virtually dead, the comedy is simply not as funny, and it’s not fun enough to take your mind off how ridiculous the action scenes are.

By the time Demi Moore leapt from a building and flew through downtown Los Angeles like Neo, my brain gave up and wearily waved the white flag.

Thankfully, director McG can’t screw up the extreme attraction of the movie’s leading ladies. More so than in the first film, the camera fawns over them, and well it should, as their sex appeal channeling the inner 13-year-old is about all this movie has going for it.

Well, that and Bernie Mac, who works his King Midas powers in scenes so funny and out-of-tune with the film’s sluggishness that they had to be largely improvised.

The gobbledygook plot involves two rings that when united reveal the identities of everyone in the U.S. witness protection program. There’s plenty of fire in the movie, but no one ever throws the rings into it to see if they’re inscribed with Elvish writing.

Anyway, Natalie, Dylan and Alex (Diaz, Barrymore and Liu, respectively) are sent to retrieve the rings, which are out in the open. The trail leads to former Angel Madison Lee (Moore), who got miffed at Charlie and took a hike.

All of this is connected with a frighteningly buff, Irish old flame for Dylan (Justin Theroux), a return of the creepy Thin Man (Crispin Glover) and a visit from Alex’s father (John Cleese).

If nothing else, “Full Throttle” is a cautionary tale that throwing a lot of money at something doesn’t make it good.

Take Moore’s body, which looks good, but in the fake plastic way that $400,000 worth of plastic surgery can get you. What natural beauty she once had must have gotten sucked out of her now-sallow face along with the baby fat.

In the meantime, McG films everything in “Full Throttle” with the type of souped-up energy that a $120 million budget can buy. But the scenes cut quicker than a month-old razor blade and some important details get lost in the shuffle.

Couldn’t they have at least shown us the helicopter in the back of that truck at least once before it became part of the money shot? And where exactly does the climactic showdown take place again? Cue the eye-rolling for those who felt “Charlie’s Angels” lacked coherence.

Also, in addition to Moore’s Batgirl impersonation, there are two other laugh-out-loud absurd action moments.

The Angels ski down a rope on wooden boards they’ve all happened to snare while being rocketed out the top of a building. And during a Motocross race ... well, let’s just say you’ll probably never see Jeremy McGrath fire off two pistols while executing his next no-hander.

There were plenty of goony scenes like this in the original, but where those left you feeling exhilarated, similar segments in “Full Throttle” leave you feeling exhausted. It’s an action movie that forgets to be fun - come to think of it, exactly like “The Hulk.”

Nick Rogers can be reached at 217-747-9587 or nick.rogers@sj-r.com.