ROTTEN TOMATOES: Weekly Ketchup: Conan Gets a New Austrian Bodybuilder Comments

Weekly Ketchup: Conan Gets a New Austrian Bodybuilder

by Greg Dean Schmitz | June 19, 2009

Summary

This Week's Ketchup brings you the usual news about sequels (James Bond, Mission: Impossible) and remakes (Conan, Bride of Frankenstein, Meatballs) as well as a refreshing number of original concepts, including news about fan favorite directors Darren Aronofsky (The Wrestler), John Carpenter (The Thing) and Andrew Stanton (WALL-E). #1 THE NEW CONAN HAS BEEN FOUND, AND HE'S A LOT LIKE THE OLD ONE Lionsgate and Nu Image/Millennium have apparently settled upon their choice for the star of the new Conan movie, and he bears a lot of similarities to the original movie Conan, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Back to Article

(1-29 of 29 posts) | Reply

fargo_viper writes:
on Jun 19 2009 02:59 PM

Why isn't Dr. John Cater from Chicago going to star in John Carter goes to Mars? It just makes sense. I mean, the guy's got a good kidney now...

(Reply to this)

ledawg1138 writes:
on Jun 19 2009 03:16 PM

I laughed so hard when I read the James Bond news and saw the picture and said "Oh no, Craig has been replaced by some guy with a Jew fro!" But Blofeld is good news. When are Q and Moneypenny coming?

No words on the Rotten idea. No. Words.

(Reply to this)

RT-Ryan writes:
on Jun 19 2009 03:54 PM

Roland is also an anagram of "Arnold!" Something is fishy in the universe today...

(Reply to this)

Tyrant writes:
on Jun 19 2009 04:14 PM

Oh dear... this rotten idea of the week is truly terrible this time around.

(Reply to this)

Urban_Nomad writes:
on Jun 19 2009 04:21 PM

I have it all figured out. The movie "Junior" starting Arnold is actually a documentary. This Roland Kickinger guy is just a clone that Arnold carried and delivered in the worlds first human duplication project.

Its the only explanation that makes any sense.

(Reply to this)

Etienne L. writes:
on Jun 19 2009 05:04 PM

Brody and Whitaker have big shoes to fill, the actors playing in the original movie are mostly unknown in North America (Moritz Bleibtreu as the reporter/inmate and Justus von Dohnanyi as guard) but they really nailed it. Still, I'm kind of happy to see a remake of Das Experiment being made, this was a solid movie and it completely flew under the rader in NA.

(Reply to this)

Chris B. writes:
on Jun 19 2009 05:16 PM

this week's news sucks anyway.

(Reply to this)

Bob S. writes:
on Jun 19 2009 05:26 PM

Hmm, I don't know what to believe re: Conan casting. Latino Review posted this: http://www.latinoreview.com/news/debunked-kickinger-not-conan-7187

Is he or isn't he? I guess we'll just have to wait for the final announcement. I don't know if this is great casting. I love the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie (CONAN THE BARBARIAN; THE DESTROYER not so much), but he played Conan as a hulking brute with little else going for him. That's not very true to the R.E. Howard source material, which I thought this reboot was trying to adhere more closely to.

At least this week had some cool news in it - JOHN CARTER OF MARS progressing, Abrams involvement with another MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE, the addition of Peter Morgan to the writing team of Bond, and a remake of DAS EXPERIMENT, which is woefully neglected by American audiences. Good stuff offset slightly by the Rotten Idea of the Week...ugh.

(Reply to this)

FDBluth writes:
on Jun 19 2009 05:27 PM

CROM!

(Reply to this)

D Effin W writes:
on Jun 19 2009 09:46 PM

Meatballs??? All I can even think of is Raphael bitching and moaning while he exits the theaters in the first installment of that franchise! BTW... I am totally stoked for another entry of TMNT, live action that is!

(Reply to this)

Elisha writes:
on Jun 19 2009 10:59 PM

As long as Roland remembers the best things in life: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

(Reply to this)

King Thor writes:
on Jun 20 2009 05:56 AM

I think it is great casting as long as Conan is not portrayed anything like he was in the Schwarzenegger movies. Really hoping for them to stay true to Howard's books this time around.

Also about Mission Impossible 3...i thought it was critically considered the best of the mission impossibles????

(Reply to this)

King Thor writes:
on Jun 20 2009 06:01 AM

Haha, just thought it was funny that if you re arrange the letters in Roland it spells Arnold.

(Reply to this)

IOwn Andrew Kruzel writes:
on Jun 20 2009 08:30 AM

In reply to this comment (#2514889)
Yeah MI3 is the highest rated of the three, the first one was 56%, the second one was 57%, and the third one was the only fresh one with 70%, I think it was the best of the three movies and it was Alex Kurtzman and Bob Orci's best writng besdies Star Trek, I hope that Abrams just produces it so that he can direct another ST.

(Reply to this)

The Reaper writes:
on Jun 20 2009 12:48 PM

Good lord Amber Heard is hot! Wowsa. (=

(Reply to this)

lestatthevampire writes:
on Jun 20 2009 01:53 PM

Why is Roy Rogers wearing 2 belts???

(Reply to this)

iakobos writes:
on Jun 20 2009 03:41 PM

One belt is on his pants. The other is for the two holsters for his guns.

(Reply to this)

spooksmagee writes:
on Jun 20 2009 05:40 PM

Natalie Portman with a dancer's body?

Do want.

(Reply to this)

DanieltheShadow XIX writes:
on Jun 20 2009 07:27 PM

hope next bond is good natalie as a dancer awesome

(Reply to this)

Zippedychick writes:
on Jun 20 2009 10:02 PM

I would love to see Michael Sheen do sexy. That would be pretty cool.

(Reply to this)

Lemire V. writes:
on Jun 20 2009 10:23 PM

Oh, come on. I thought the new conan would have been an occasion to get rid of the of the ridiculous bodybuilder warrior.

Conan as described by Howard is strong, yes, but he is agile and fast. He was a horse thief, at one point. What about these hulking brutes says agaile, uh?

He should be built more like a wide receiver or a hockey player, not like a freaking body builder!

Think about it; in Conan's world, they mostly fight without armor. What saves your skin, if you wear no armor? Speed, damn it!

(Reply to this)

thedownstar writes:
on Jun 20 2009 10:29 PM

...of course his name is kickinger. I'll be looking for this guy when the "6th Day" and "Jingle All the Way" remakes will be floating around RT news posts in a few weeks.

Meatballs? ....................................................really? (discontented sigh)...................................maybe if they........(looks up at the ceiling for a brief moment)........write a respectable script, cast the right people?.....(a tear drop falls on his quivering lips)......yeah, this might actually work.....(slowly reaches for the light switch, exhales once, twice).....

he is never seen again

(Reply to this)

Liara T. writes:
on Jun 20 2009 10:49 PM

http://liara-tsoni.mybrute.com = GotY

(Reply to this)

Bob S. writes:
on Jun 20 2009 11:43 PM

In reply to this comment (#2515039)
@Lemire V:
Your criticism of the casting of Kickinger (still hoping that this is not finalized casting) is spot on and highlights a lot of my opposition to him as well. Much as I love Schwarzenegger's portrayal in CONAN THE BARBARIAN, he didn't really exemplify all the character's aspects. Conan is highly intelligent and resourceful, but as played by Schwarzenegger, fails to capture those rather fundamental traits. Why not use a reboot as an occasion to follow the source material more closely? It worked wonders for CASINO ROYALE.

(Reply to this)

Brendan M. writes:
on Jun 21 2009 12:52 AM

I hope that they give Rowland the chance to develope his own movies as opposed to be an Arnie wannabe.

(Reply to this)

The D. writes:
on Jun 21 2009 08:41 AM

Ahhh...The madness continues.

Now it seems the elephant in the room just got even pinker. The studios aren't even TRYING anymore to pretend they aren't "remaking" our classics with this reboot insanity.

Now they're actually leaping off the cliff of obvious, with the lead looking, sorry, nearly identical to Arnie.

Hmmm. What a cash-tacular idea!

I've been blasting away on boards like these for well over a year since this, "Hollywood-execs-"rebooting"-already-classic-films-rather-than-green-lighting-new-and-original-concepts" phenomenon seems to have started becoming the norm in the biz.

I, as someone who also earns his living in this industry , for one, am thoroughly fed up.

It's time for Hollywood to listen.

Between every other movie coming out being absolute ****, or another ****ing "remake"/ "reboot" altogether, the reasons are the same; and so, unfortunately, are the hacks that are running the show.

For all those interested in what can be done about this duel leveled scourge of the silver screen, I invite you to join me at the following address below.

It's time Hollywood got a kick in the teeth. It's time Hollywood was shown for what it has truly, sadly become. It's time Hollywood got it's own "REBOOT"!

www.hollywoodreboot.com

"Take back Tinseltown!"

The Director

(Reply to this)

Dave J. writes:
on Jun 21 2009 09:18 PM

The new actor playing conan looks alot more dummer than the last one.

(Reply to this)

jacog writes:
on Jun 22 2009 12:42 AM

Re MI3... studios don;t care about the critical rating, they care about the money. So if they label a movie as "disappointing", they really mean it didn't make as much money as they wanted.

This is dumb logic when you talk about sequels, because, if MI3 did indeed not make as much money as they wanted, it was not because of MI3 being at fault, but rather the fault of whatever preceded it.

(Reply to this)

Jack C. writes:
on Jun 22 2009 11:16 PM

MI:IV! Awesome cant wait. The series is underrated, I love how each installment has been different in style to the last one. Id like to see maybe a bourne-style mission impossible for the forth installment but thats just me...

(Reply to this)

Related Links

Conan the Barbarian

Related Articles

Most Discussed

Latest News

Latest Interviews

Latest Features

Sponsored Links