It's the age old story. Girl likes pretty things. Girl racks up crippling credit debt. Girl gets job on financial magazine.

The greatest tragedy about this film is not that it's an example of shining mediocrity -- or even that it isn't that funny -- it's that there are some supremely talented people involved... and it still sucks.

Director P.J. Hogan turned the chick flick genre, and Australian cinema, on its head with Muriel's Wedding. Muriel might have been a nutter but she was a female character with depth and complexity. Even when he dipped his toes into the Hollywood big time with My Best Friend's Wedding, Hogan created women with some oomph, and a sense of humour and fun. This movie is about as fun as that screeching noise you make when you let the air out of a balloon really, really slowly.

Isla Fisher, bless her, works her butt off to make something of this film. She's her bubbly, charismatic self, but sadly, all the red-headed charisma in the world is not going to save a clichéd, caricature of a script.

It's time rom-com fans took a stand and said: 'We like movies, too... dammit! Give us some decent cinema!"

Consensus: This middling romantic comedy under-utilises a talented cast and delivers muddled messages on materialism and conspicuous consumption.

Kevin James both stars in and co-wrote this film about a mall cop who dreams of one day becoming a New Jersey state trooper. James was likeable in the US sit-com, The King of Queens, and he's likeable in this.

James' appeal might explain why this film did so well at the box office. Never mind the thoroughly rotten Tomatometer, audiences flocked to see this 91 minute-long fat joke in droves. And just when you think they've milked every fat joke available, they find one more. There is something admirable about that kind of thoroughness and rigour.

Despite its lacklustre performance and non-comedic comedy, there is one thing about this film that shines -- they used the Wilhelm scream! The Wilhelm, of course, is the sound effect that has become so famous, and so over-used, that it long ago made the transition from cliché to most excellent in-joke. See if you can spot it...

Consensus: Paul Blart: Mall Cop has some laughs, but its plot is flimsy and lacking in any sustained comic momentum.