Dracula 3D (2012)
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Argento's intention is actually a little unclear but in Dracula he has made a film that will undoubtedly find an audience, but the audience will almost certainly be one that enjoys to laugh at it rather than take it at all seriously.
This would be laughable if it were the first film by a Hollywood producer's nephew. As the twenty-first feature by a 71-year-old genre veteran, it's embarrassing.
Argento doesn't play by conventional rules, including nude scenes for his own daughter in amongst the provocatively kitsch horror moments and ludicrous story elements.
Audience Reviews for Dracula 3D
Super Reviewer
Dracula 3D started with a screen text that claim its "significantly important". Yes, because any movie that has Dracula turning into a wolf, an owl, dozen of flies, and giant praying mantis (picture at the end) without explanation is very "important". This is the kind of "significant" horror film that only amateur Dario Argento could make...wait. According to his resume Argento is responsible for the original "Dawn of the Dead" and "Suspiria" which are both consider horror classics. Huh? Guess that makes this failure even more embarrassing given the director is a veteran of the film industry and the horror genre.
So in terms of plot it does nothing new with the familiar Dracula mythos which at this point has been done death. It's about as interesting as watching a snail paint a wall and then watching it dry. It's generic storytelling at it most dull made even worse in eye drowsy 3D! For starter things are too bright! The lightning makes it difficult to see anything with 3D glasses. It falls victim to using the usual gimmicks of 3D that annoy us. What makes matter worse is the fact that director Argento made it impossible at times for the viewer to focus on a scene when the shot itself lacks focus.
Another thing is the nudity serves no purpose. You can't enjoy the nudity either in 3D for the director has filmed his daughter naked. I haven't felt this wrong seeing a naked woman since "Butterfly" (1981) and I hated the living essence of that film. Though to Dracula 3D credit, it's nowhere as awful as "Butterfly" (1981). Some highlight includes Dracula killing people with his finger nails, rare cheesy acting, and the giant praying mantis. Also, in what novel does Dracula has the ability to teleport, mind control, and also telekinesis. The "action" scenes that last seconds (the longest almost reaching 10) here are more poorly choreograph than a Steven Seagal fight scene.
The acting is all around awful. The 3D is useless making it you more sleepy than invested. This puts no creativity on a tire story that has been told dozens of better times. The worst offender being it's the worst kind of bad movie; the ones feel like a chore to finish.
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Movie: ID: 771307298 Title: Dracula 3D Release Date: null MPAA: 6 Status: 1
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Foreign Titles
- Dracula (DE)
- Dracula (UK)
Some directors, especially those involved in the horror genre, just don't age well, producing one "Oh Granddad!" moment after another. There's none more guilty of this than Argento. I can't think of another film-maker whose career provides such contrasting quality from his early work to his recent turkeys. His last two films ('Mother of Tears' and 'Giallo') scaled new levels of ineptitude yet somehow he's managed to reach yet another nadir with his latest. Argento has sadly become a director whose work only a mater suspiriorum could love.
The story stays relatively faithful to the original Stoker text but, on practically every level, this is an absolute travesty. Shot on the cheapest looking digital format and employing matte paintings that seem to have been composed by a child, visually the film resembles those BBC children's productions from the seventies, but with neither the charm nor the excuses of that era. The CG on display here would look dated in an early nineties PC game, never mind a 2013 release. The terrible dialogue, combined with atrocious dubbing, makes competent actors like Hauer and Kretschmann look like idiots.
It pains me to slate a once great talent, the man who gave us nightmares with genre classics like 'Suspiria' and 'Profondo Rosso', but please Dario, retire. Oh Granddad!