12 Days of Friday, Day 9: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
Editor Alex Vo watches a Friday the 13th movie daily until the reboot.
Day Nine: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final FridayOkay, so it turns out Jason isn't a zombie (or a little kid again according to the end of Jason Takes Manhattan). According to Jason Goes to Hell, it's a parasitic worm that turns people into invincible Jason-esque monsters, capable of transferring from person to person. The worm's ultimate goal: to kill the Voorhees bloodline, as only a Voorhees can truly defeat Jason using some Dagger O' Magic. Yeah, is it any wonder this isn't very popular with fans?
I'll first note that I watched the widely-available unrated version. I can't comment on how much this version does or does not improve upon the R-rated version (it's certainly the grossest Friday yet), but, overall, it's still a bad movie.
It did, however, hold my attention, or at least mild interest, throughout. Likely, this is a result of having watched nine Friday movies over the past nine days: those are not normal movie-watching circumstances, so after struggling to find anything compelling to write about in parts 6 through 8 (all variations on a stale theme), I'm going to latch onto anything weird that creeps into this series. And, you have to admit, Jason Goes to Hell is pretty damn weird.The Thing or Fallen. Too bad Jason Goes to Hell mucks up this concept at every turn. Director Adam Marcus sticks to the same slasher routine when he had a chance to change it up. Harry Manfredini's score is obnoxious and blatty. The plot has a bunch of cheap, arbitrary rules (a possessed person appears as Jason in mirrors for some reason, and sometimes a possessed person can talk and sometimes they can't). And, for some reason, they gave Jason a pink puffy head. Has he ever looked worse? And if this is a story about bloodlines, why don't we learn anything about papa Voorhees?
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday Vital Stats:
- Body Count: 24. Or, 1, if you count only kills by Jason Voorhees proper.
- Survivors: 3.
- Number of teens killed: 5. Series low.
- Number of stalled cars: 0. (Second time!)
- Number of people possessed: 4.
- Number of Jason-approved weapons: 8. Autopsy probe, pencil, razor, spike, knife-sharpener, deep-fat fryer, barbecue skewer, machete.
Memories of Crystal Lake:
- Steve Barton of Dread Central: "So now New Line has rescued the series from the clueless over at Paramount, and what do they do? We go from not having blood to not having Jason AGAIN! Did no one learn anything from Part 5? Jason in this flick is a little demon worm who jumps from body to body trying to get back to the womb of a Voorhees so he can be reborn. Along the way he wrecks a diner, collects props from other movies like the Evil Dead book, and shaves people. That's right. Jason now has a penchant for preening! I would have loved to have been there for this pitch! "Dude, we so need to have Jason shave somebody! The homo-erotic overtones alone will be enough to scare the s--t out of people." Homo-erotic .... Shaving. Are you friggin' kidding me?"
Tomorrow: Jason. In space.
Schedule of Fridays:
- Day 1: Friday the 13th (1980)
- Day 2: Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)
- Day 3: Friday the 13th Part III (1982)
- Day 4: Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)
- Day 5: Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)
- Day 6: Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI (1986)
- Day 7: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)
- Day 8: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
- Day 9: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)
- Day 10: Jason X (2001)
- Day 11: Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
- Day 12: Friday the 13th (2009)