Frogs For Snakes (1998)

Ishtar Starring: Warren Beatty, Dustin Hoffman, Isabelle Adjani, Charles Grodin, Jack Weston, Tess Harper, and Carol Kane. Written and Directed by Elaine May. Rated PG-13 (for violence, some language and sexuality/nudity). Running time approximately 1 hour 47 minutes. [center][/center] [center]Oh, they're having fun, huh? And they think they're funny? Yeesh![/center] Elaine May's Ishtar, while not the incredible travesty legend has made it out to be, is quite the interesting failure. I've heard that not only is the film ridiculously unfunny but also that it cost quite a bit to make ($45 million if memory serves). The early scenes with Hoffman and Beatty as a sort of Simon and Garfunkel duo are amusing, but not hilarious. Once they get to the fictional country Ishtar, everything falls to pieces and we become annoyed and frustrated with the whole bunch of nothing that's happening. I want to own this, but just to show it to people. * (out of ****) D Rude Awakening Starring: Eric Roberts, Cheech Marin, Julie Hagerty, Robert Carradine, Tom Sizemore, and Buck Henry. Directed by David Greenwalt and Aaron Russo. Written by Neil Levy and Richard LaGravenese. Rated R (for strong language, pervasive drig content and some sexuality). Running time approximately 1 hour 40. [center][/center] [center]No drugs will save you from the maddening lack of comedy here.[/center] This movie was such a manipulative piece of crap, and for that I hated it to the core. Rude Awakening is about two stoner losers (Marin and Roberts) who return to the US to visit their old friends Carradine and Hagerty. There's some nonsense about revolution and whatnot, but the film is not funny nor is it the slightest bit amusing. I'm sorry if my explanation was a bit shaky, but I really don't remember it that well. I was too busy nodding off and making lists of things in my head. Zero Stars (out of ****) F Sour Grapes Starring: Steven Weber, Craig Bierko, Viola Harris, and Karen Sillas. Written and Directed by Larry David (!). Rated R (for language and sex-related humor). Running time approximately 1 hour 32 minutes. [center][/center] [center]Seinfeld! Then this? Ick.[/center] I adore Seinfeld. I think it's my favorite sitcom pretty much ever. I first read about Sour Grapes in Roger Ebert's book I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie and, thinking nothing of it (he gave Polanski's masterpiece The Tenant a single star - come on!), bought it at the used video store expecting to giggle a bit and move on. I was sorely mistaken. Mr. Ebert, I wish to apologize to you for not trusting your expert advice this time around. Larry David, genius that he may be, created what may be the misfire of his career with this offensive, nasty little number. I don't care to discuss it. It's horrid, unfunny and repulsive. This film is to Larry David what Envy is to Barry Levinson. ACK! Zero Stars (out of ****) F Frogs for Snakes Starring: Robbie Coltrane, David Deblinger, Harry Hamlin, Ian Hart, Barbara Hershey, John Leguizamo, Lisa Marie, Debi Mazar, Ron Perlman, Mike Starr, Justin Theroux, and Clarence Williams III. Written and Directed by Amos Poe. Rated R (for strong violence, sexuality and sex-related dialogue, language and some drug use). Running time approximately 1 hour 38 minutes. [center][/center] [center]What a cast! Wasted.[/center] Another curio from the pages of Ebert's lovely book, Amos Poe's Frogs for Snakes sounds interesting enough (rival mob collectors enjoy acting quite a bit, so naturally they'd literally kill for a part in an upcoming production of David Mamet's American Buffalo). Yeah, it sounds silly as all hell, but look at that cast! It looks to be quite a wonderfully wacky piece of work. Alas, it is not. Ebert said it best: "Not a film so much as a filmed idea. That could be interesting, but alas it is a very bad idea." Sad but true. Zero Stars (out of ****) F Live Freaky! Die Freaky! Starring the voice talents of: Billie Joe Armstrong, Travis Barker, Tre Cool, and Davey Havok. Written and Directed by John Roecker. No MPAA rating (contains graphic violent/sexual images and strong language). Running time approximately 1 hour 15 minutes. [center][/center] [center]No more disgusting puppet shows, please! :([/center] Live Freaky! Die Freaky! is not a film. It is a sick little child's home movie. I despised it utterly and completely. I don't wish to say much else, if anything else at all. Zero Stars (out of ****) F