John Tyler RC #2 of today

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Do I like this film? Yeah. But is it good? ...Not exactly.
John Tyler
10-20-2013 06:10 PM

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John Tyler

John Tyler

TOP 10 QUOTES (in no order):
"81:02 - JESUS IN HEAVEN, CASTRATE ME!"
"62:05 - THEY KILLED OPTIMUS! Ah, damn you! Goddamn you all to hell!"
"'It feels good to grab your flesh.' UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..."
"'Hey, Professor. I'd do anything for an A.' SHUT UP ALREADY! You're driving me nuts!"
"'I will tear you apart!' YOU'RE TEARING ME APAAHT, LISA!"
'This place is a freaking house of horrors.' Something Panda would say about Charles Manson's summer home."
"'I feel smarter already.' *facepalm* Bitch, please."
"Galloway, how dare you interrupt Optimus' awesome speech. You go to your room and learn something about non-douchiness."
"'Who are you to judge what's best for us?' A giant robot who'd be a better president than Obama."
"'That's Sharsky. That's Fassbinder.' Replace the "i" in Fassbinder with an "e" and you'll gross more than Avatar."

Oct 20 - 11:39 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

This happened?

Oct 20 - 11:07 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Yes. It happened.

Oct 20 - 11:09 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

Shit, son. Make a list of your best quotes. Then check out my list over on the Resident Evil RC thread.

Oct 20 - 11:22 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Look at the quotes above.

Oct 21 - 04:27 PM

Vincent

Dana Cutler Scully-Stormborn

Smart way to bump the thread, John.

Oct 21 - 04:29 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Movie's over.

Oct 20 - 10:59 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Oh, and Sam's parents are alive. Yay.

Oct 20 - 10:58 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"I rise. You fall."
That doesn't make up for the fact that this fight was too damn short.

Oct 20 - 10:57 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

WHAT? Optimus' fight with Megatron and The Fallen lasts less than two and a half minutes? FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.

Oct 20 - 10:56 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"This planet will be dark forever."
I beg to differ.

Oct 20 - 10:54 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

137:07
HOLY CRAP ON A CRACKER IN CRAIG ROBINSON'S CRUSTY BUTTCHEEKS.

Oct 20 - 10:52 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Dammit, Fallen, you ruined everything!

Oct 20 - 10:51 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

WHOOOO-HOOOO! OPTIMUS IS BACK, BITCHES!

Oct 20 - 10:50 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

134:30
Robot heaven? You're shitting me, right?

Oct 20 - 10:49 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"Fucking do something!"
Forced usage of the word "fuck" in a Transformers movie.
SIN COUNT: 864

Oct 20 - 10:46 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Oh, no. Sam dies.

Are we supposed to feel sentiment? 'Cause I don't think I am.

Oct 20 - 10:45 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

131:55
Holy shit!

Oct 20 - 10:43 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"I am directly below the enemy scrotum."
LMAO!

Oct 20 - 10:41 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

129:44
Scorponok's here?! Shit yeah!

Oct 20 - 10:40 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Well that was fucking short, Michael Bay, you cocktease motherfucker.

Oct 20 - 10:42 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"The pain in my day!"
Where's the gain? No pain, no gain. Pain & Gain.

Oct 20 - 10:40 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

129:22
DAMN, SON.

Oct 20 - 10:39 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Bullets, and action, and Megan Fox cleavage, oh my!

Oct 20 - 10:37 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Oh, yeah! Humans firing at Decepticons.

Oct 20 - 10:35 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Less than a half-hour left.

Oct 20 - 10:31 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Thank God. Some great action.

Oct 20 - 10:23 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

113:41
That Decepticon looks awesometacular.

Oct 20 - 10:21 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Less than 40 minutes left.

Oct 20 - 10:17 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"I can't take that guy anymore."
Neither can I. Not even Anne Ramsey could.

Oct 20 - 10:12 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

106:31
Leo goes apeshit and I couldn't fucking care less.

Oct 20 - 10:11 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

106:39
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRwxoqqAFl1E-_meSyZ3Bbfndjrhyv55ZgbXaid8gNLpV40ANC8nK7I4Sg

Oct 20 - 10:10 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

The music by Steve Jablonsky = Great

Oct 20 - 10:09 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

The Matrix of Leadership turns to dust. Oh, no!

Oct 20 - 10:08 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

101:49-102:15
Not fucking funny.
102:17
Thank you, Bumblebee.

Oct 20 - 10:06 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Hasta la fucking vista, Galloway!

Oct 20 - 10:04 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Oh! The douchebag turns out to be a wimp!

Oct 20 - 10:02 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

NEST'S Egyptian Vacation

Oct 20 - 10:02 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

97:31
http://t.qkme.me/3ohfz9.jpg

Oct 20 - 10:01 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

A cameo by Deep Roy?

Oct 20 - 09:56 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Less than an hour left.

Oct 20 - 09:52 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

A machine that destroys suns? Wow, that's bad-ass.

Oct 20 - 09:51 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"Beginning, middle, end. Facts. Details. Condense. Plot. Tell it!"
It's about time.

Oct 20 - 09:49 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"I think we're in Vegas!"
You're in the birthplace of Imhotep, fucktard.

Oct 20 - 09:47 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

85:38
An Autobot farts out a fucking parachute.

Oct 20 - 09:43 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

85:00
The wheelie Decepticon is humping Megan Fox's leg. Is this even a Transformers movie?

Oct 20 - 09:42 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"You are an amateur, man, a rank amateur."
It's funny because it's true.

Oct 20 - 09:38 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

81:38
The Hangover sequels are funnier than this.

Oct 20 - 09:37 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

81:02
JESUS IN HEAVEN, CASTRATE ME!

Oct 20 - 09:35 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

80:21
OH, GOD!

Oct 20 - 09:34 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Mikaela's treating the wheelie Decepticon like a dog. What?

Oct 20 - 09:32 PM

Leo Gibson

Leo Gibson

John, if you get a chance, check out me, Tut, and Goldblum's RC on Resident Evil.

Oct 20 - 09:32 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

I did. Nice RC.

Oct 20 - 11:20 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"They got your face all over the news, alien boy."
Is it me or is that line humorous?

Oct 20 - 09:29 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

John Turturro's back. Yippee.

Oct 20 - 09:27 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"That's 'cause you're a pussy."
This wasn't an R rating?

Oct 20 - 09:26 PM

Leo Gibson

Leo Gibson

Why would you watch this? Even to rip it apart.

Oct 20 - 09:26 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Well, why not?

Oct 20 - 11:20 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"We don't really do much reading."
No shit.

Oct 20 - 09:25 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

I'll admit, the references Bumblebee makes when talking through the radio are cool to hear.

Oct 20 - 09:24 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"I really don't like that dude."
Neither does anybody else.
"He's an asshole."
NO! REALLY?

Oct 20 - 09:22 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"Take that pile of scrap metal back to Diego Garcia."
Fuck you too, bitch.

Oct 20 - 09:21 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

I am Diego Garcia now. U mad?

Oct 20 - 09:25 PM

Leo Gibson

Leo Gibson

Nope. I'm not mad.

Oct 20 - 09:25 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

Gibson! Are you down for an RC?

Oct 20 - 09:26 PM

Leo Gibson

Leo Gibson

Sure. What movie and what start time?

Oct 20 - 09:27 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

Movie: The first Resident Evil. It can be found on your friendly neighborhood Netflix.

Time: Three minutes from now.

Oct 20 - 09:28 PM

Leo Gibson

Leo Gibson

Really? Three minutes from now? All right, I'm down! Make the forum!

Oct 20 - 09:28 PM

Jeff Goldeneye

Life Finds a Way

I'll ah join you.

Oct 20 - 09:29 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

On it. One minute.

Oct 20 - 09:29 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

71:13
This douchebag again...
"Your NEST team is deactivated, Major."
YOU ARE EVIL.

Oct 20 - 09:19 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"I will tear you apart!"
YOU'RE TEARING ME APAAHT, LISA!

Oct 20 - 09:18 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

69:41-70:06
Still funnier than Friedberg & Seltzer's movies.

Oct 20 - 09:16 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

Final decision on what to watch: Resident fucking Evil.

Oct 20 - 09:16 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

69:39
Mudflap and Skids time.

Oct 20 - 09:15 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

68:40
Barack Obama reference.
SIN COUNT: 247

Oct 20 - 09:13 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

*Bites tongue*

Oct 20 - 09:15 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Bad-ass speech by The Fallen.

Oct 20 - 09:12 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

67:14
Oh, thank Jesus. A Decepticon kidnaps Sam's parents.

Oct 20 - 09:11 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

66:26
Michael Bay destruction "for the win."

Oct 20 - 09:09 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

64:36
NEUUUUUUUU! NOT HER AGAIN!

Oct 20 - 09:07 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

John, do you know where I can find The Spectacular Now online?

Oct 20 - 09:09 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

No, I don't.

Oct 20 - 09:10 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

Well fuck...

Oct 20 - 09:12 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

62:05
THEY KILLED OPTIMUS!

Ah, damn you! Goddamn you all to hell!

Oct 20 - 09:02 PM

Jeff Goldeneye

Life Finds a Way

10 points for that ah reference.

Oct 20 - 09:02 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

60:47
That Decepticon got fucked up real good.

Oct 20 - 09:01 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

Jesus, this is only an hour in? It feels like this has been going on forever.

Oct 20 - 09:06 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

That's what it felt like to critics.

Oct 20 - 11:21 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"I'll take you all on!"
That's awesome.

Oct 20 - 09:00 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Optimus v. Decepticons in the woods = Legen...wait for it...dary

Oct 20 - 08:58 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Optimus and Megatron duking it out in the woods. Oh, the awesomeness.

Oct 20 - 08:54 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Oh, my God! The Autobots are here! This is gonna be fucking epic!

Oct 20 - 08:52 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Sam, kissing and making up with Megatron won't do jack shit.

Oct 20 - 08:52 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

57:28-57:37
WHAT AM I WATCHING?

Oct 20 - 08:50 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"It feels good to grab your flesh."
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

Oct 20 - 08:49 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

56:20
HOW DID THAT NOT SEVERELY INJURE HIM?!

Oct 20 - 08:48 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

55:47
Why didn't that blade kill Leo, you bastards?!

Oct 20 - 08:47 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

Aw, why you wanna kill Gibson like that?

Oct 20 - 08:54 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

I'm talking about Sam's annoying roommate.

Oct 20 - 08:58 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

55:40
DAMN.

Oct 20 - 08:46 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

55:16
Holy shit!

Oct 20 - 08:45 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"Kiss this, bitch."
You are no Sigourney Weaver or Chloe Moretz.

Oct 20 - 08:44 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Oh, yeah. Sweet, sweet badassery.

Oct 20 - 08:42 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

So the Decepticon chick tongue-fucked Sam and now he's fucking puking after arguing with Leo and Mikaela. Bravo. Brav-fucking-o.

Oct 20 - 08:42 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

She was hot.

Oct 20 - 08:54 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Kinda. She was hotter in the Red Dawn remake.

Oct 20 - 11:21 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Shia swinging on vines with CGI monkies >>> Shia screaming like a bitch in this movie

Oct 20 - 08:39 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

NOPE!

Oct 20 - 08:54 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Disagree.

Oct 20 - 08:59 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Tongue strangle. What the fuck is this.

Oct 20 - 08:38 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

51:12
Oh, shit, son!

Oct 20 - 08:38 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"You're very aggressive."
"Just relax."
"You want some turkey meatloaf?"
The fuck does turkey meatloaf have to do with anything else in this movie?

Oct 20 - 08:37 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

51:00
So the chick hitting on Sam turns out to be a Decepticon. Yippee.

Oct 20 - 08:36 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"Can I just sit and watch?"
This movie? Sure. That'll be $200 million.

Oct 20 - 08:33 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

49:58
Where's Tommy Wiseau when you need him to destroy the dorm room?

Oct 20 - 08:31 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

48:49
Bad Boys II poster.
SIN COUNT: 79

Oct 20 - 08:29 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"This place is a freaking house of horrors."
Something Panda would say about Charles Manson's summer home.

Oct 20 - 08:27 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

46:19
Dammit. THIS little shitface...

Oct 20 - 08:25 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

45:58
See that dog next time in the next film of Bayformers.

Oct 20 - 08:24 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Sam mentions "a Sentinel Prime expedition" during his mental breakdown.

Oct 20 - 08:23 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"Thank you."
"Finish that for me."
Do I have to comment on this?

Oct 20 - 08:20 PM

Alex M.

Hipster Elitist Maverick

I forgive Rainn Wilson for his work on The Office.

Oct 20 - 08:21 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

As do I.

Oct 20 - 11:22 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

43:40
NEUUUUUUUU! NOT RAINN WILSON!

Oct 20 - 08:20 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

The Fallen: Voiced by Candyman

Oct 20 - 08:18 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

37:18
That's an awesome shot.

Oct 20 - 08:17 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"Now hold six contacts."
2 + 3 = Not 6

Oct 20 - 08:16 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Oh, my God! Megatron's brought back to life! This is gonna be awesome!

Oct 20 - 08:13 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"People, we've got a problem!"
NO! REALLY?

Oct 20 - 08:12 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

38:58
Thank you. We finally get some more robot mayhem coming afoot.

Oct 20 - 08:10 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Thank GOD. Optimus Prime is here.

Oct 20 - 08:08 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

36:49
Unfunny joke.

Oct 20 - 08:07 PM

Jeff Goldeneye

Life Finds a Way

I ah didn't ever watch this one...

Oct 20 - 08:06 PM

Alex M.

Hipster Elitist Maverick

God, you are a genius.

Oct 20 - 08:07 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

A+, Goldblum.

Oct 20 - 08:09 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Consider yourself lucky.

Oct 20 - 11:22 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

36:38
Unfunny joke.

Oct 20 - 08:06 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

36:13-36:21
Unfunny joke.

Oct 20 - 08:06 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Really? How in the blue hell does Sam not recognize this chick is hitting on him?

Oct 20 - 08:03 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

So Sam is beginning to see visions of Cybertronian symbols. This is a pretty interesting plot point.

Oct 20 - 08:01 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

33:47
Still better dancing than that Russian fucker's tap dancing in Die Hard 5.

Oct 20 - 08:00 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"I'm gonna be getting my Spitzy freaky freak on."
Someone was actually paid to write this.

Oct 20 - 07:56 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"The shard's gone."
NO! REALLY?

Oct 20 - 07:54 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

31:56
Another cool-looking Decepticon.

Oct 20 - 07:52 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

The more I remember this movie, the less I like it. I should watch it again.

Oct 20 - 07:52 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

It'd be cool to see you tear it asunder.

Oct 20 - 07:54 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

I hate 3 way more than I hate 2.

Oct 20 - 07:55 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

3 was the best of the three films.

Oct 20 - 07:57 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

*Worst

Oct 20 - 07:59 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

2 is the worst.

Oct 20 - 08:03 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

31:33
Decepticon anthills.

Oct 20 - 07:51 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

30:37
That Decepticon looks fucking awesome.

Oct 20 - 07:50 PM

The pup of Wall street

The Pup

I absolutely hate this film! Bay raped my childhood!

Oct 20 - 07:49 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Understandable.

Oct 20 - 11:22 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"Hey, Professor. I'd do anything for an A."
SHUT UP ALREADY! You're driving me nuts!

Oct 20 - 07:45 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

Lol. Yeah, robo-bitch was annoying.

Oct 20 - 07:47 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

When you say robo-bitch, are you talking about Megan Fox or Sam's mom?

Wait. Sam. Robot. Sam and robot. Sounds familiar.

Oct 20 - 07:48 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

Huh? Deadly Friend reference?

Oct 20 - 07:51 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

You knows it.

Oct 20 - 07:57 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

29:56
Still not fucking funny, Orci and Kurtzman.

Oct 20 - 07:44 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

29:32
And the hell continues...

Oct 20 - 07:44 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

29:24
You've gotta be fucking kidding me...

Oct 20 - 07:43 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

29:13
Hey, look, it's Josh Peck's girlfriend from the Red Dawn remake.

Oct 20 - 07:42 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"You know, you don't often see white boys with the dreadlocks."
I saw one in the year 3000 played by the villain from Broken Arrow.

Oct 20 - 07:41 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

28:39
Pot brownies. Lordy, lordy, what has the world come to?

Oct 20 - 07:40 PM

Alex M.

Hipster Elitist Maverick

Pot brownies make me buy Avril Lavine songs on iTunes.

Oct 20 - 07:41 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

You can't trust 'em if they make you do that.

Oct 20 - 11:23 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

GOD, that scene was retarded.

Oct 20 - 07:47 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

I know, right? How does shit like this belong in a Transformers movie?

Oct 20 - 07:49 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

Because MICHAEL FUCKING BAY.

Oct 20 - 07:51 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Really? Not because Plotline?

Oct 20 - 07:58 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"It's just like Hogwarts."
Really? 'Cause I recall Harry Potter being a better franchise than this.

Oct 20 - 07:39 PM

Alex M.

Hipster Elitist Maverick

Not according to a certain someone on this site.

Oct 20 - 07:39 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Oh, but of course.

Oct 20 - 11:23 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"Don't be sucking the sack, bro!"
"Which sack?"
"The ball sack."
"Dude, what kind of tool are you?"
I'll admit, that was actually pretty damn funny.

Oct 20 - 07:36 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"That's Sharsky. That's Fassbinder."
Replace the "i" in Fassbinder with an "e" and you'll gross more than Avatar.

Oct 20 - 07:33 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

26:12
How was this fucker able to get a VENDING MACHINE OF ALL THINGS in his dorm room?

Oct 20 - 07:32 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

25:40
Hey, look, it's that guy from Battle: Los Angeles.

Oct 20 - 07:28 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"I feel smarter already."
*facepalm* Bitch, please.

Oct 20 - 07:27 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

Lol.

Oct 20 - 07:29 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

25:13
NO! NOT HER AGAIN!

Oct 20 - 07:26 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"That's a good question."
NO! REALLY?

Oct 20 - 07:24 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"What if we leave and you're wrong?"
Optimus, he's obviously wrong.

Oct 20 - 07:24 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"Will you leave peacefully?"
No, because if they do, there wouldn't be more sequels.

Oct 20 - 07:23 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"Sounds to me like something's coming."
NO! REALLY?

Oct 20 - 07:22 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"Who are you to judge what's best for us?"
A giant robot who'd be a better president than Obama.

Oct 20 - 07:19 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"Forgive the interruption, General."
I'm sorry, we can't. Now go home and slap your woman while you're at it.

Oct 20 - 07:17 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

Wut.

Oct 20 - 07:29 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Galloway, how dare you interrupt Optimus' awesome speech. You go to your room and learn something about non-douchiness.

Oct 20 - 07:15 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

John, did you ever watch Transformers: Cybertron? Greatest TV show ever.

Oct 20 - 07:13 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

No. I thought Firefly was the greatest TV show ever.

Oct 20 - 07:16 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

Well, yes. But T:C is one of my nostalgic favorites.

Oct 20 - 07:24 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Ah.

Oct 20 - 07:25 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

20:47
So these Decepticon eels, I guess, suck this satellite's multiple dicks. That's not really how it looks, it's just how the eels transport the information to the satellite.

Oct 20 - 07:12 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

20:02
Oh, great. THIS fucking douchebag. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to Galloway.

Oct 20 - 07:10 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

19:20-19:30
Ten second moment of hilarious hijinks that is anything but hilarious.

Oct 20 - 07:09 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

19:09
NO! Not these two fucking retards again!

Oct 20 - 07:08 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"NEST Classified Operations - Diego Garcia"
Diego, eh?

Oct 20 - 07:07 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

Another reason why I guiltily love this movie.

Oct 20 - 07:12 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Oh, my God! Soundwave's in this movie! This is gonna kick serious ass!

Oct 20 - 07:06 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

I KNOW, RIGHT? SO BADASS.

Oct 20 - 07:13 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"I hate that it's working."
Reminds me of the time I posted remake ideas and casted Nathan Fillion in roles to make Diego like them.

Oct 20 - 07:04 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me."
I can understand why. And it's still better romance dialogue and acting than Attack of the Clones.

Oct 20 - 07:03 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

Abso-fucking-lutely.

Oct 20 - 07:05 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

I love the parents in these movies. And Shiia Ladouche is actually okay. And the special effects are pretty sweet. And the dialogue is funny. And John Tuturro is badass. And...

Okay, I'd better stop before I lose my cool.

Oct 20 - 07:00 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

There's nothing even remotely funny in TF2.

Oct 20 - 07:01 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

I'm sorry... but the scrotum line gets me every time.

Oct 20 - 07:02 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Bumblebee cries. Still more humorous than him pissing.

Oct 20 - 06:59 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

16:16
Hot damn.

Oct 20 - 06:58 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

16:12
That's the stuff.

Oct 20 - 06:58 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"He's still having voice problems?"
What the hell happened to him speaking at the end of the fucking first movie?!

Oct 20 - 06:57 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"I cannot live with a psychotic alien in my garage!"
Just like the audience unable to live with you being an incredibly annoying fucktard?

Oct 20 - 06:55 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

Aw, John, I wanted to do this! Still, it's an incredibly enjoyable shitfest of a movie.

Oct 20 - 06:53 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Concurred.

Oct 20 - 06:56 PM

Diego Tutweiller

The Majestic Pigbutt Worm

I like the first two Transformers movies WAAAAAAAAY more than I should.

Oct 20 - 06:57 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

I see.

Oct 20 - 11:24 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

14:25
Please, stop. No more of this bimbo.

Oct 20 - 06:53 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Another bad-ass entrance, now in the form of Bumblebee.

Oct 20 - 06:53 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

13:41
Decepticons have piss-poor aim.

Oct 20 - 06:51 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

13:15
And more of Sam's annoying-as-shit mom. Yippee-ki-fucking-yay.

Oct 20 - 06:50 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

13:02
Fuck. More pointless dog humping bullshit.

Oct 20 - 06:49 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

So the sliver lands on the kitchen table and it has the power to turn every electrical appliance into a Decepticon?

...

Oct 20 - 06:49 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"Mikaela, I think a sliver of the Cube got stuck on my shirt."
Oh, the Cube from the first film.

BTW, don't say "sliver" unless it has anything to do with that Sharon Stone movie.

Oct 20 - 06:47 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"I'm breaking up with you, Sam."
Now we know why she didn't come back for Dark of the Moon.

Oct 20 - 06:39 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"In two weeks, it could be Muffy."
If only it were Buffy instead...

Oct 20 - 06:38 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

She's painting the Devil on a motorcycle. Oh, the irony.

Oct 20 - 06:37 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

10:54
Dat Megan Fox ass.

...

Wait, she's back as Mikaela. Can't wait to see below-average acting and above-average hotness.

Oct 20 - 06:36 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

10:28
Dogs humping each other. Did this inspire Movie 43?

Oct 20 - 06:35 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

10:09
Oh, for fuck's sakes...

Oct 20 - 06:34 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"That was a really creepy move just now, Dad."
No shit.

Oct 20 - 06:33 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

The dad gives the mom a slap on the ass. How is that funny?

Oct 20 - 06:33 PM

Vincent

Dana Cutler Scully-Stormborn

John the type of nigga to make a fake account for his wife and say "Dear, I love you. :)"

Oct 20 - 06:32 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

9:30
Sam, can you tell your mom to shut the fuck up and make you a sandwich?

Oct 20 - 06:32 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

9:12
Oh, dear God...

Oct 20 - 06:31 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Okay, we got Sam Witwicky back. And his dad (eh?). Who else?

Oct 20 - 06:30 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"That doesn't sound good."
Really? No fucking shit.

Oct 20 - 06:29 PM

Vincent

Dana Cutler Scully-Stormborn

John the type of nigga to X-Ray his heart to see if it's broken.

Oct 20 - 06:29 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

7:55
DAMN, SON.

Oct 20 - 06:28 PM

Vincent

Dana Cutler Scully-Stormborn

John the type of nigga that puts squishy holders on his pencils.

Oct 20 - 06:28 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Now that's a bad-ass entrance.

Oct 20 - 06:27 PM

Vincent

Dana Cutler Scully-Stormborn

John the type ofnigga that, when he sees his friend, he walks up behind him, puts his hands over his friend's eye and say, "GUESS WHO?"

Oct 20 - 06:26 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

7:00
Wow, that's pretty damn cool.

Oct 20 - 06:26 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

6:33
Lame Pun #247-B. Starring Skids and Mudflap. A Michael Bay film.

Oct 20 - 06:25 PM

Vincent

Dana Cutler Scully-Stormborn

"I make movies for teens. Big crime"
-Bay

John is within this demographic.

Oct 20 - 06:24 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

No.

Oct 20 - 06:26 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Also, when he said "big crime," he was being sarcastic.

Oct 20 - 06:28 PM

Vincent

Dana Cutler Scully-Stormborn

No shit, Sherlock.

Oct 20 - 06:31 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

6:20
The hell's up with this Asian guy? Giant robots come through his house, and his facial expression tells us: "Why, of course."

Oct 20 - 06:23 PM

Vincent

Dana Cutler Scully-Stormborn

John, you're 13. No one with respect would admit they liked Transgenders 2

Oct 20 - 06:22 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

I'm not 13.

Oct 20 - 06:24 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

However...when are they gonna learn that bullets from human weaponry can't kill giant fucking robots?

Oct 20 - 06:22 PM

Vincent

Dana Cutler Scully-Stormborn

For every time John Tyler says something stupid, I will post.

Oct 20 - 06:21 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

You're the one whose posts are stupid.

Oct 20 - 11:24 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

HOLY BAD-FUCKING-ASS, BATMAN!

Oct 20 - 06:21 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

I anticipate a bad-ass action sequence coming this way.

Oct 20 - 06:20 PM

Vincent

Dana Cutler Scully-Stormborn

???

Oct 20 - 06:19 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

3:28
Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson are back. Oh yeah.

Oct 20 - 06:19 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"Suck my popsicle!"
Written by Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, everybody.

Oct 20 - 06:18 PM

Vincent

Dana Cutler Scully-Stormborn

"Cool looking robots for the win"

No.

Oct 20 - 06:17 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

2:55
Ladies and gentlemen, meet the two annoying fuckers known as Mudflap and Skids.

Oct 20 - 06:17 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

So, after the events of the first film, the military and the Autobots form NEST. All right. I'm down for this.

Oct 20 - 06:16 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

China? I wonder what Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith have to say about this.

Oct 20 - 06:15 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

Cool-looking robots for the win.

Oct 20 - 06:13 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

"17,000 B.C."
Another seven thousand until we get to that Roland Emmerich shit.

Oct 20 - 06:12 PM

John Tyler

John Tyler

45 seconds of logos.
SIN COUNT: 1

Oct 20 - 06:11 PM

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