G.I. Joe: Retaliation Reviews

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Corey Atad
Movie Mezzanine
March 2, 2014
A terrible film with a confusing plot, jarring tonal fluctuations, characters that engender no sympathy, and a strangely flippant attitude toward violence.
Full Review | Original Score: D
Will Leitch
Deadspin
June 23, 2013
It's pretty bad. You don't need me to tell you that.
Full Review | Original Score: D+
J.C. Mašek III
PopMatters
August 7, 2013
Bruce Willis, The Rock, explosions, comedy and action help this popcorn sequel rise above its more Sci-Fi predecessor, but even fans caught up in the action will occasionally find this live action film to be just a bit too cartoonish.
Full Review | Original Score: 5/10
Sam Woolf
We Got This Covered
March 27, 2013
G. I. Joe: Retaliation could best be described as formulaic, in that it seems like it was made from a recipe. Take two parts Bruce Willis and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and mix for 100 minutes
Full Review | Original Score: 2/10
John Hanlon
Big Hollywood
June 30, 2013
This action-packed drama is as bland and forgettable as its predecessor.
Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/5
Justin Craig
FoxNews.com
March 28, 2013
The sequel erases the absurd campiness of Stephen Sommers' original and attempts a reboot at becoming the next bad-ass action franchise, but in the end is nothing more than your average "Joe."
Full Review | Original Score: 5/10
Jamie Neish
HeyUGuys
March 27, 2013
Even Dwayne Johnson couldn't save this sequel.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/5
Donald Clarke
Irish Times
March 29, 2013
Bigger, louder and, like, way more stupider than its predecessor.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5
Cameron Williams
The Popcorn Junkie
March 29, 2013
One of the most despicable displays in the collision between consumerism and filmmaking
Full Review | Original Score: 0.5/5
Matt Looker
TheShiznit.co.uk
March 27, 2013
The most fun I have ever had watching one of the worst films I have ever seen
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5
Jenny Casablancas
FILMINK (Australia)
March 24, 2013
There are sure to be many more clunkers in 2013...but it's never nice to be the first.
Top Critic
Soren Anderson
Seattle Times
March 27, 2013
As for plot and character development, well, um ... did I mention the picture has a lot of guns?
Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4
Tom Clift
Moviedex
April 6, 2013
Marries the steroidal firepower of the US armed forces with the narrative sense and technical elegance of a twelve year old playing with his action figures.
Full Review | Original Score: 2.5/5
Mathew DeKinder
Suburban Journals of St. Louis
March 28, 2013
In fact, I spent most of "G.I. Joe: Retaliation" wishing I was watching a movie where Blind Master RZA and Warden Walton Goggins open up a detective agency together.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5
Chris Fyvie
The Skinny
March 28, 2013
Subplots pop-up inexplicably and incoherently; poorly shot set pieces confound in a wilfully inane bore of a film.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5
Top Critic
Stephanie Merry
Washington Post
March 28, 2013
People may flock to G.I. Joe: Retaliation despite its inert illogic. But don't say you weren't warned. As a wise man once said, "knowing is half the battle."
Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4
Glenn Heath Jr.
Slant Magazine
March 27, 2013
Instead of long takes, which are lovingly utilized in Step Up 3D, Jon M. Chu opts for increasing volatility in the editing room.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/4
Teddy Durgin
Screen It!
March 28, 2013
Needs some decent dialogue, some good acting, and at least a plot twist or two to qualify something like this as worth seeing. 'G.I. Joe: Retaliation' has none of that. (Complete Content Details for Parents also available)
Josh Bell
Las Vegas Weekly
March 28, 2013
So ludicrous that it might not even convince a sugar-addled 10-year-old on a Saturday morning.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/5
Roger Moore
Movie Nation
March 26, 2013
Things go boom and bodies go down and the one hour and fifty minutes zip by like oh, two hours and ten.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/4
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