G.I. Joe: Retaliation Reviews
We Got This Covered
G. I. Joe: Retaliation could best be described as formulaic, in that it seems like it was made from a recipe. Take two parts Bruce Willis and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and mix for 100 minutes
Full Review
| Original Score: 2/10
Flix Capacitor
It's a marked improvement over the shambolic original, but G.I. Joe: Retaliation isn't the fun actioner we were hoping for.
Full Review
| Original Score: 2/5
FoxNews.com
The sequel erases the absurd campiness of Stephen Sommers' original and attempts a reboot at becoming the next bad-ass action franchise, but in the end is nothing more than your average "Joe."
Full Review
| Original Score: 5/10
HeyUGuys
Even Dwayne Johnson couldn't save this sequel.
Full Review
| Original Score: 2/5
Irish Times
Bigger, louder and, like, way more stupider than its predecessor.
Full Review
| Original Score: 1/5
The Popcorn Junkie
One of the most despicable displays in the collision between consumerism and filmmaking
Full Review
| Original Score: 0.5/5
TheShiznit.co.uk
The most fun I have ever had watching one of the worst films I have ever seen
Full Review
| Original Score: 1/5
FILMINK (Australia)
There are sure to be many more clunkers in 2013...but it's never nice to be the first.
Top CriticAs for plot and character development, well, um ... did I mention the picture has a lot of guns?
Full Review
| Original Score: 1.5/4
Moviedex
Marries the steroidal firepower of the US armed forces with the narrative sense and technical elegance of a twelve year old playing with his action figures.
Full Review
| Original Score: 2.5/5
St. Louis Post-Dispatch
In fact, I spent most of "G.I. Joe: Retaliation" wishing I was watching a movie where Blind Master RZA and Warden Walton Goggins open up a detective agency together.
Full Review
| Original Score: 1/5
The Skinny
Subplots pop-up inexplicably and incoherently; poorly shot set pieces confound in a wilfully inane bore of a film.
Full Review
| Original Score: 1/5
People may flock to G.I. Joe: Retaliation despite its inert illogic. But don't say you weren't warned. As a wise man once said, "knowing is half the battle."
Full Review
| Original Score: 1.5/4
Slant Magazine
Instead of long takes, which are lovingly utilized in Step Up 3D, Jon M. Chu opts for increasing volatility in the editing room.
Full Review
| Original Score: 2/4
Screen It!
Needs some decent dialogue, some good acting, and at least a plot twist or two to qualify something like this as worth seeing. 'G.I. Joe: Retaliation' has none of that. (Complete Content Details for Parents also available)
Las Vegas Weekly
So ludicrous that it might not even convince a sugar-addled 10-year-old on a Saturday morning.
Full Review
| Original Score: 2/5
Movie Nation
Things go boom and bodies go down and the one hour and fifty minutes zip by like oh, two hours and ten.
Full Review
| Original Score: 2/4
Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
G.I. Joe: Retaliation is such a craven and relentless onslaught of obsessive gun fetishization that you half expect to see the NRA's logo appear alongside Paramount and Hasbro.
Full Review
| Original Score: D+
Badass Digest
Incredibly disjointed, lacks any sort of a compelling throughline and, in the end, feels very small. And that's with the entire city of London being destroyed from outer space.
Birmingham Post
Johnson deserves far better material than a non-stop confusing orgy of violence, somehow directed by Jon M Chu on the back of two Step Up dance movies.
Full Review
| Original Score: 2/5
