Hatchet Reviews

Hatchet isn't funny, it certainly isn't frightening, and Will Barratt's absurdly murky cinematography hurts the gore money shots.

Full Review | Original Score: D+

What could have been a mini-Scream is ultimately I'll Always Know You Did Last Halloween the 13th.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5

This low-budget horror spoof lasts only 84 minutes, but seems to take forever.

Full Review | Original Score: 1/5

Green's efforts to strike a balance between knowing humour and no-holds-barred horror are stymied by an erratic tone: a slow, talky build-up gives way to a soggy middle section and a messy, all-stops-out finale.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/6

So ridiculously over-the-top that it's best viewed as a wacky spoof.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5

Lacking the satirical bite of the first Scream... this is mere pastiche that doesn't even wink at what it is pointlessly xeroxing from the past.

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A cut above average.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/4

Only a brief, nicely sculpted bass clarinet line provides any redeeming quality.

Full Review | Original Score: .5/5

Even after appropriately lowering expectations, it's kind to call this one a cut below.

Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/5

For die-hard fans of horror, Hatchet might feel like a reprieve, but it certainly isn't a healthy one.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5

Like Scream never happened, this is an uneven comedy-horror homage that gets by on enthusiasm alone.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5

Draggy stretches in the first few reels could easily have been pruned from an already tight 83-minute running time.

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Horror without suspense is like sex without love: you can appreciate the technicalities, but ultimately there's no reason to care.

| Original Score: 1.5/5

Anyone feeding into this nostalgia is yearning for a kind of warm and fuzzy horror that's wholly irrelevant today.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/6

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5

In its gore, Hatchet is not especially inventive

Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4

Billed as "Old School American horror", Hatchet's actually something far less classy: a technically inept homage to '80s slasher movies that's both bloody and bloody stupid.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5

The results can be messy.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/4

Taken ironically, this is a fun movie. But do be sure to lower your standards at the door.

Full Review | Original Score: 2.5/5

It's spirited, totally exploitative, entirely forgettable high body count slasher movie fun, and it sure ain't pretending to be quality cinema.

Full Review | Original Score: 65/100

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