Horrible Bosses Quotes

The top Horrible Bosses quotes selected by the Rotten Tomatoes community. Login to submit a quote!

• 1. Kurt Buckman: You know, they should call you Motherfucker Over-Jones, to avoid confusion. Right? Dean 'MF' Jones: What's the confusion?
  – Submitted by Ram C (4 months ago)
• 1. Dr. Julia Harris: You said she was just a hole for your dick.
  2. Dale Arbus: I never said that... Not really my style.
  – Submitted by Badnan A (7 months ago)
• 1. Kurt Buckman: Oh, and to answer your question, that was your wife.
  2. Dave Harken: You fucked my wife?
  3. Kurt Buckman: I fucked your wife!
  – Submitted by Badnan A (7 months ago)
• 1. Kurt Buckman: What about you grandmother, 'Booby'?
  2. Nick Hendricks: Gam Gam.
  – Submitted by Abhirup D (8 months ago)
• 1. Dale Arbus: What do you mean 'deliberately undress?'. So, you 'accidentally undress?'
  – Submitted by Abhirup D (8 months ago)
• 1. Dale: Why did you put his whole bathroom in your ass!?
  – Submitted by Mike B (8 months ago)
• 1. Dale: [Wetwork Man] Are you telling me I drove all this way and no one wants to get pissed on?
  – Submitted by Brad S (8 months ago)
• 1. Nick Hendricks: I get to work before the sun comes up, and I leave long after it's gone down. I haven't had sex in 6 months with someone other than myself. And the only thing in my refrigerator is a old lime. It could be an old kiwi, no way to tell.
  – Submitted by Evan T (11 months ago)
• 1. Dr. Julia Harris: Oh, I'm sorry Dale. I'm a squirter.
  – Submitted by Ethan C (11 months ago)
• 1. Dean 'MF' Jones: They call me Motherf***er Jones my mother was a drunk when I was a kid. So one night she passed out on her bed naked. I walked into her room, slipped my fingers in her purse....and stole all her money from her wallet; whole week's pay. I really f***ed that mother over.
  – Submitted by Jamison E (11 months ago)
• 1. Bobby Pellit: Yo, dickwad! What the fuck?
  2. Kurt Buckman: What?
  3. Bobby Pellit: Three hours late. What's the deal?
  4. Kurt Buckman: I was at your fathers funeral!
  5. Bobby Pellit: Uh huh. Maybe that excuse would work if my dad was here, but, I'm in charge now.
  6. Kurt Buckman: That excuse wouldn't make any sense if dad was still here.
  – Submitted by Hunter E (11 months ago)
• 1. Kurt Buckman: We've been taking murder advice from someone whos biggest crime is... taping an Ethan Hawke movie!
  2. Dean 'MF' Jones: So you do know the movie?
  – Submitted by Hunter E (11 months ago)
• 1. Dale: [after Pellit is shot] what's going on hows pellit?
  2. Nick: Still pretty f***Inge dead Dale.
  – Submitted by Jay S (13 months ago)
• 1. Rhonda Harken: Your balls are so soft.
  – Submitted by R?o?d?r?i?g?o? R (17 months ago)
• 1. Nick Hendricks: [during Nick's intro] The only hitch: I work for this guy, David Harken, who right now is feeding me some fresh sh*t for being two minutes late. He's a total f*cking asshole.
  2. Dale Arbus: [during Dale's intro] And it would've been the perfect job, if it weren't for one evil, crazy b*tch...D.D.S.
  3. Kurt Buckman: [during Kurt's intro] And if the worst thing about this job is having to tolerate my boss' dipsh*t cokehead son, well, it's a small price to pay.
  – Submitted by Slade U (17 months ago)
• 1. Kurt: You know, they should call you... Motherfucker-over Jones to avoid confusion, right?
  – Submitted by Mayank F (18 months ago)
• 1. Dale Arbus: [Dale hands Julia the dental water spray]
  2. Dr. Julia Harris: Alright, let see if this thing is working. [she sprays Dale in the crotch with the dental water spray]
  3. Dr. Julia Harris: Ooh!
  4. Dale Arbus: Oh, my God!
  5. Dr. Julia Harris: Oh! I'm sorry. I'm a squirter, Dale. Oh, you know what? I think, I can make out our little friend right there! [she squirts him in the crotch again with the water spray]
  6. Dale Arbus: Stop it!
  7. Dr. Julia Harris: Shabbat Shalom, somebody's circumcised!
  – Submitted by Pepper W (19 months ago)
• 1. Dr. Julia Harris: I bet you're no shrimp in the c*ck department, huh Dale?
  2. Dale Arbus: Okay, Julia. Come on!
  3. Dr. Julia Harris: What?
  4. Dale Arbus: I'm not comfortable talking about that.
  5. Dr. Julia Harris: Oh, Dale! Come on! You know that I like to fool around! [she takes the hand of the patient and places it on her breast]
  6. Dale Arbus: Oops! [to the patient]
  7. Dr. Julia Harris: Mr. Anderton! Not in the office! This is bad! [hitting the patients hand]
  8. Dr. Julia Harris: Bad! Bad! Bad!
  9. Dale Arbus: Probably shouldn't hit the patients.
  – Submitted by Pepper W (19 months ago)
• 1. Nick: [showing Nick's intro] My boss he's a TOTAL FUCKING ASSHOLE.
  2. Dale: [showing Dale's intro] My boss she's a EVIL CRAZY BITCH.
  3. Kurt: [showing Kurt's intro] My boss he's a DIPSHIT COKEHEAD SON.
  – Submitted by Baurushan J (19 months ago)
• 1. Kurt: Your first name is Mother Fucker?
  – Submitted by Baurushan J (19 months ago)
• 1. Dean 'MF' Jones: I can't walk around this f**king neighborhood with that Disney-ass name.
  – Submitted by Pato G (19 months ago)
• 1. Dale: Speaking of entrapment, I'm going to see that girl about her vagina.
  2. Dale: Excuse me.
  – Submitted by xniquet L (20 months ago)
• 1. Dale Arbus: You crazy bitch whore! [pauses for a moment]
  2. Dale Arbus: Ah! That felt good!
  – Submitted by Jesse W (21 months ago)
• 1. Dean 'MF' Jones: My name is Dean Mother Fu**er Jones.
  – Submitted by Zaid S (21 months ago)
• 1. Nick: I don't have sleeve gloves!
  – Submitted by Valleen N (21 months ago)
• 1. Dale: We are MEN, SEEKING A MAN!
  – Submitted by Kathleen S (22 months ago)
• 1. Dean 'MF' Jones: I can't walk around this f**kin neighborhood with that Disney-ass name.
  – Submitted by Kathleen S (22 months ago)
• 1. Kurt: You can't win a marathon without putting some bandaids on your nipples!
  – Submitted by Chris C (22 months ago)
• 1. Dean 'MF' Jones: I'm going to be your murder consultant.
  – Submitted by Ze P (22 months ago)
• 1. Dr. Julia Harris: I'm a squirter Dale!
  – Submitted by Kyle V (22 months ago)
• 1. Kurt: Tell you what, I'd like to bend her over a barrel and show her the fifty states, you know what I'm saying?
  – Submitted by Simon M (22 months ago)
• 1. Bobby Pellit: We need to trim some of the fat.
  2. Kurt Buckman: What do you mean by trim the fat?
  3. Bobby Pellit: I want you to fire the fat people. They're lazy and they're slow and they make me sad to look at. You can start with Large Marge.
  4. Bobby Pellit: Marge can you come in here please?
  – Submitted by Gene A (22 months ago)
• 1. Dale: We are men looking for a man.
  – Submitted by Jack P (22 months ago)
• 1. Dale: You're a raper, you raped me, that's a RAPE!
  – Submitted by Alec B (23 months ago)
• 1. Bobby Pellitt: You can fire Professor Xavier.
  2. Kurt: You mean Hank.
  3. Bobby Pellitt: Creeps me out, rolling around all day in his special little secret chair.
  – Submitted by Gregory R (23 months ago)
• 1. Dale: At least your boss isn't sexually harassing you.
  – Submitted by Alec B (23 months ago)
• 1. Kurt: Your boss is incredibly hot.
  2. Dale: Don't talk about how hot she is.
  3. Kurt: She makes herself a little snack. A popsicle. A banana. And finally, a hot dog. And eating them in that weird order thats not a proper meal.
  4. Nick: It's cold to hot.
  – Submitted by Mark H (23 months ago)
• 1. Nick: I was drag racing.
  – Submitted by Chisom A (2 years ago)
• 1. Kurt: What do you mean by, 'trim the fat'?
  – Submitted by Alec B (2 years ago)